2009 Resolutions: Lymphatic Drainage

Well, Belated Happy New Year!

I’m slowly getting back into the swing of things around here. Somehow I managed to arrange nearly two full weeks off at the end of last year/beginning of this year. That time has allowed me to explore my inner blood thirsty warrior through rousing matches of Soul Calibur IV. I love impaling my colt’s wimpy game character with a vicious multi-pronged blade, twisting, and ripping out his innards while cackling with glee. Then, once he has been decimated the necessary three times to claim victory, I turn and yell at him in a deep, foreboding tone soooouul caliburrrr!!

I love humiliating the children. I sure hope he doesn’t disconnect my breathing machine one day while hissing maniacally ressss-pirrrator!!!

We have survived another holiday season. It went well. In fact, I would say this Christmas had approximately 70% less profanity than the last. There were two reasons for this:

1. No toys required assembly.
2. Francis Coppola Diamond Collection Merlot. And a rum chaser.

I have a few resolutions for 2009. And I believe a yearly “goals/resolutions post” is compulsory around these parts, ain’t it?

As the title suggests, a lymphatic drainage is at the top of my list. For Christmas, Mrs. Nitmos bought me an hour long visit to a wellness clinic. She (and the certificate) say it is intended to be used for a "sports massage." But the certificate clearly states that it could be exchanged for a different service of my choosing. Of course, they helpfully included a list of other services. And what does my wandering eye see? Lymphatic Drainage!

Oh, yeah, I have to have this done. I don’t even know what it is but I sure as hell want to say I’ve done it.

The pamphlet explains:

A massage technique used to improve the flow of lymph using light, rhythmic
strokes. Lymph glands act as part of the body's defense system against
infection. According to practitioners, by improving lymphatic circulation,
many health related complaints are corrected and the immune system is improved.

I’ve always been a big fan of rhythmic stroking of my lymph glands. Ask anyone. No comment as to whether it includes a happy ending though.

Besides the Mrs. Nitmos approved five knuckle shuffle on my lymphs, I have a few running goals as well.

1. Set another PR in the 5k. Can I go under 18 minutes? Not sure. But I can beat 18:30.
2. Run a half marathon. I still have not done this. I ran one official half marathon as part of the Goofy Challenge around this time last year but I took it easy (time = 1:39) and really viewed it as part of the two day challenge. I’d like to run a half under 1:30.
3. Run the Flying Pig Marathon for FUN. No time goal allowed (well, maybe one I’ll keep secret.)
4. Finally, run The Crim 10 miler this year. I’ve been trying to run this for three years now and something always comes up. (Time Goal = 65 minutes)

Non-running goals? I have a few:

1. Continue to look cool in my parachute pants.
2. Cultivate anger towards a different animal (can 2009 be llama-free?)
3. Consider opening a savings account for my kids college fund. Dismiss this idea. Buy myself (another) Hi-Def TV.
4. Reconcile with David Schwimmer. It’s time.

Happy New Year!
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Congratulations to fellow Steers LDP member Tange who completed the Florida Marathon in something less than 3:12 (re: 3:14). Good for 2nd overall! Congratulations first loser! And, you’re right, I wouldn’t have mentioned this at all if you had gone under 3:12. But you would have won the race. ;)