Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Product Review: Not a Ferrari

I received an email from a marketing group several weeks ago asking me if I would like to test their product, ProWash, and write a review on this site. I said ‘Sure but “ProWash” is a funny name for a Ferrari manufacturer.’ I offered to send them a copy of my garage door opener so they could park my new ProWash in my garage. They said no, they’d just sent it through regular mail and it’d probably be on my porch. I’m not one to look a gift Ferrari in the mouth so I just chuckled and thought fine, just wait til you see the size of my porch!

Then, a few weeks later, a package showed up. On my porch. About the size of a shoe box. That’s odd. There was this little pouch inside filled with liquid laundry detergent and the name ProWash splashed across the front. I was confused for a moment until it hit me: these people don’t know how to make a high performance sport vehicle. Fools.

Instead of getting into another shouting match with a stranger that day, I decided against calling them out on their rather obvious error. I’d just review their ProWash as if it was intended to be activewear detergent and no one would be the wiser.

Now, the problem with my review of this product is that I don’t normally do the laundry at my house. We have a strict Separation of Duties rule in the Nitmos house. Mrs. Nitmos does the laundry, cooking, cleaning, child rearing, and tire stacking. I do the TV remote battery replacement, recliner cushion testing, and, occasionally, check and clean the Unicorn traps as necessary. You might think I have it easy but then you’ve probably never had to remove a broken necked Unicorn from a spring loaded trap. Though, truth be told, neither have I. The Unicorn traps are always empty (which leads me to believe I’m either a kick ass home defender against flying Unicorns or my traps don’t work.)

Anyway, we gave my running clothes several washes with ProWash to get an idea on how well it works. Normally, my running shirts have a lingering funk to them even after returning from the wash…like a Ghosts of Runs Past type smell. Frankly, I enjoy it. I imagine that, if I were a cartoon, you’d see little squiggly aroma lines trailing behind me as I run. After the ProWash treatment, my running clothes seemed to be pretty much robbed of their perpetual stank. It was still there if I sniffed hard but it didn’t immediately smack me in the face like before as I pulled my shirt over my head. In fact, my clothes had an overpowering clean smell. Not sure how to describe a “clean” smell but I think you know it when you smell it. If you are still not sure what I mean by clean, then let me spell it out for you: It didn’t smell like my hairy arm pit, an accumulation of 100 saturations of groin sweat, or my anus. Got it?

All in all, I’d say this is a good product. It definitely seemed to clean my “activewear” (which, I think, is Flamboyese for “running clothes”) better than regular laundry detergent. The clothes felt and smelled fresher which might be a nice benefit for those that have that, um, not so fresh feeling. And I don’t believe it slowed me down any when running. I don’t think it made me any faster either but I don’t believe they market that it will.

I endorse.

If there is one drawback, it would be the price. It costs quite a bit more than regular detergent. And I’m a huge cheapskate (unless it comes to me buying more running shoes and race entry fees then I’m surprisingly benevolent.)

But, if you are someone who wants cleaner, fresher running clothes, then ProWash just might be the Ferrari of the activewear laundry detergents. (Note: Not an actual Ferrari. Learn from me.) Comparatively, everything else is just a supped up Honda Accord.

And if you want a better review of this product - one that doesn’t involve talk of Unicorns, Charles Dickens references, or my anus - then go here and here. Apparently, the ProWash folks didn’t think I’d effectively disperse their product through the running blogosphere so they enlisted other false prophets.

No worries. My feelings aren’t hurt. I’m still Magnum P.I. cool.

Happy trails.

23 comments:

Sarah said...

Not sure how to describe a “clean” smell but I think you know it when you smell it.

Like porn, right?

I may have to check out this ProWash to see if it can eliminate the sweat stank to end all sweat stanks: the underboob band of my sports bras. Yow! One of those suckers can locker-room-ify my entire walk-in closet.

If it has the Nitmos Official Stamp of Positive Endorsement(tm) I may just give it a whirl (wash?).

Stay warm!

P.S. You forgot "Refrigerator Temperature Testing In The Form of Beer Bottles" as one of your official household duties. :)

Vanilla said...

Crap. Every time someone posts a ProWash Review it just means that I'll have to try that much harder to be different, although in your case that won't be too hard.

chia said...

People wash thier running clothes?

It's the only defense mechanism in my hizzood! That stank's better than pepper spray.

Lily on the Road said...

Did you try ProWash before or after the Lymphatic Drainage??

Just asking....

Roisin said...

If those other reviews don't include unicorns, then I'm not participating. The end.

Sarah said...

I echo Vanilla. crap.

Xenia said...

You had me at anus.

Al's CL Reviews said...

"If you are still not sure what I mean by clean, then let me spell it out for you: It didn’t smell like my hairy arm pit, an accumulation of 100 saturations of groin sweat, or my anus."

Why oh why am I C&P this and sending it to my husband?

tfh said...

I'm pretty sure you have to work up to the Ferrari.

(Oh, and when I commented yesterday that Mrs. N is making wives everywhere look bad, that was a request NOT to continue mentioning things like she does your laundry, okay?)

joyRuN said...

Uh, I'm still not sure what you mean by clean.

Steve Stenzel said...

Gotta check that out! I'd LOVE to smell better....

Jess said...

I've used the ProWash, and I like it too...but I've found a more economical solution (this probably means I won't be getting a bottle of ProWash anytime soon, but whatever...). Borax. I add about a 1/2 C. in the wash with regular laundry detergent and it takes the stink right out. It's like 3 bucks for a giant box, and it lasts forever. Good stuff.

Stuart said...

Ditto Vamilla and Sarah!

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

For those who still, despite your graphic description, don't get what it is you mean by the opposite of a clean smell, perhaps you can look into whether Blogger offers a kinda scratch-n-sniff widget for your blog that might approximate the smell of your anus? They have Anus in Aerosol Cans; surely by now they've perfected Virtual Anus? It's worth asking. (If they're only beta testing it, it would technically be B-nus, I guess. But still, better than No-nus.)

X-Country2 said...

It really can't be said enough: That Mrs. Nitmos is a lucky lucky lady!

Richard said...

I trap unicorns all of the time. It's downright messy. So are my llama traps. I know I know no llama hating in 2009, but think about when those little bastard spit at you...

nwgdc said...

Laughed out loud once again. Almost had a bit of martini come through the ole 3 hole (slang fro nostril). Unicorn trap? Seriously? Where do you come up with that?

Kevin said...

What, running clothes arent supposed to smell like death warmed over

Tall Girl Running said...

If I had known my review was going to be linked to by the infamous Nitmos, I would have been much more sarcastic and inappropriate.

Thanks for the nod anyway... I think.

thebets said...

Um...I'm not sure the Prowash people want their product linked with your groin sweat and anus...details...

Irene said...

It was free, after all...

Brianna said...

You paint such a clear picture that my nose actually wrinkled as I read your post.

sRod said...

But here's my question: does it get the oil stains out of using Easy Glide on your nipples too much.

...

Perhaps I should write up the back story on that.