I know you are expecting me to be your lump of coal in your holiday stocking but I’m not going to do it. I already covered coal in my last post. I think that imagery is probably still fresh (and steaming) in many of your minds.
Instead, I’m going to actually wish you all a heartfelt Happy Holidays and Happy New Year! For those that celebrate Christmas, Merry Christmas! For those that celebrate other things, Merry (Your Holiday)mas!
It’s been a wonderful year here at Feet Meet Street. I’ve enjoyed every moment of it. I hope you’ve enjoyed the anger, sarcasm, snarkiness and downright meanness you find here. Every now and then, I like to throw you all a bone and suppress the nasty for a little friendly post about puppy dogs and butterflies. I’m like the running equivalent of a Reverse Incredible Hulk. But, instead, my rage is the predominant characteristic and kindness comes bursting through on sporadic occasions until I wake up in a field with tattered purple running shorts.
Don’t worry, I will be posting again between now and New Year’s as I’m sure you are all eager for my #1 Running Nirvana…moment. I can tell by the steadily decreasing comments in the series that you are all on the edge of your seat.
There will be changes to FMS next year. I haven’t finalized what form they may take quite yet. I’m trying to gauge the level of contempt I have for all of you. I might really expand the range of this blog to open up new readership for me to ridicule. Really, there’s no sense in maintaining a blog unless you can use it as a forum to bash others over the head. At least, that’s what I always say. Or, I might decide to post less frequently. In which case, my family will need to bear the brunt of my unventilated hostility. And the fewer posts will probably mean I go off the rails The Cannibal Run style more frequently when I do.
Whichever way I go, you’ll be near the last to know.
So, here’s wishing you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I’ve laughed and, occasionally, plotted revenge at all of your increasingly childish comments. No matter how contemptuously you mock me, you won’t metaphorically sodomize my holiday spirit.
And if any of you thought that “sodomy” doesn’t belong in a heart felt Happy Holidays post, once again, you’re wrong. If there is anything I hope you learned through the year by visiting FMS, it’s that two seemingly unrelated things can appear unexpectedly and triumphantly in the same sentence without warning.
I’ve enjoyed specifically deriding a few of you in my posts during the year. Those that weren’t called out directly by name, rest assured, I was thinking terrible things about you. The more you comment, the greater chance you’ll appear in an upcoming post about what you can do with/where you can stick a used Christmas tree.
Thanks everyone for making 2008 the best year yet on Feet Meet Street!
Now, what can I cover in 2009???
I hate snow.
7 frost bit fingers