Friday, December 26, 2008

#1 Running Nirvana Is...

Wherein I recount my running highlights for the year…as if any of you care.

Well, I hope Santa was nice to all of you because I’m not going to be. With all of the holiday cheer, the fake smile plastered to my face has led to migraines and a lot of pent up hostility. It’s so hard to be cantankerous during Christmas what with all the over excited kids and general feelings of goodwill in the air. I’ve learned over the years that my tiny voice spewing bitterness and loathing is no match for the Little Drummer Boy ba rump ba bum bumming in peoples’ ears.

Speaking of Little Drummer Boys, my son received the parent hating gift of Guitar Hero World Tour from Santa. That’s the one with the drum set. That’s the one with the drum sticks that make that incessant tap tap tap through the house all hours of the day. And he’s not playing Christmas tunes. I believe it’s Slipknot. Slipknot as interpreted by a ten year old amateur drummer striking plastic “drums” with no volume control.

F*&% Santa.

Calgon, take me away! *

Alright, I’m going to put this list out of its misery so we can all go about our lives. I’m declaring right now that there will be NO year end running highlight list in 2009. You’re welcome. The much anticipated numero uno is…

#1 The Boylston Left

How could it not be?

The final turn in the Boston Marathon is the legendary left turn onto Boylston St. and an approximately four block run through screaming throngs of an adoring, Nitmos loving crowd to the finish. It’s the culmination of the entire Boston Marathon. For many, it’s the crowning moment of their entire running career.

I plan to run Boston again (next time in 2010!). Perhaps several times if I’m so lucky…and employed.

Despite the race going pretty sucky for me (note: do NOT eat at California Tortilla in the DC airport), there is an undeniable magical feeling when approaching that corner and realizing what lies ahead.

I did not know it at the time but Mrs. Nitmos was standing on that very corner. I’m pretty sure she had pom pons and was directing an impromptu Boylston St. Choir rendition of:

Bricka bracka firecracker
Sis Boom Bah
Rah! Rah! Rah!

At least, I think that’s what happened. But I also remember being handed a cup of Gatorade by a seven foot tall squirrel wearing a Kaiser helmet and a monocle and hissing “You vill not vinish dis race” at the previous aid station. So, who can tell what really happened?

I’m looking forward to my next Boylston left as an exclamation point at the end of a well run race. But the first, was still pretty damn exciting. I almost completely forgot about the profanity I had been spewing to myself the previous few miles.

Or the guy in the pink tutu. Or the beating I took by the Beardsley Monster. He beat me like a drum.

Ba rump ba bum bum

Happy trails.

* And by “Calgon” I mean, “Cruzan Rum.”


Melissa said...

Thank God Guitar Hero wasn't invented when my kids were little. And that they weren't boys.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

For a second time, you have lured me here by myself.

Surely, Baron Von Nitmos, you don't mean to ... to ... murther me?!?

You'll never get away with it! There are people who know i've been here! They'll start asking questions!

What? Llamas are no longer dangerous enough game for you? You've moved on to people?!

Halp! Murther!!!

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

O, Melissa got here before me. A witness.

I yet live.

Nice try.

May the tell-tale heart drums of Guitar Hero World Tour haunt you for your remaining years on this earth.

Anonymous said...

You evil, evil man. Your post today has revealed you to be far more insidious than a tone deaf llama jamming to Guitar Hero - you're making me reconsider my Boston decision. And that will never do.

Sarah said...

Guitar Hero is the devil. Enjoy

RazZDoodle said...

Marathon advice
A new Nitmos cheer.

Man, this post had EVERYTHING!

joyRuN said...

You meant "Calgon". Admit it already.

Enjoy the drumming! How fast can you run away from that sound?

nwgdc said...

Merry Christmas to the Colt!

A tour through purgatory for the Nitmos!

I, too, was planning on running Boston in 2010. I'm now reconsidering.

chia said...

Once again I'm put in a position in which I pray for Mrs. Nitmos' sanity. One hubby bursting with fruit flavor and one kid banging out Slipknot?!? There just isn't enough eggnog in the world for that...

Jess said...

Sweet gift for the kiddo! My brother got rock band but has yet to set it up..keeping me from jamming out on the drums until later...maybe it's for the best or else my parents might ship me back to DC earlier

Marlene said...

I hope to experience that one day. It sounds freaking awesome.

Meg said...

Oh gawd, don't you know you're not supposed to give kids toys that make noise?

KimsRunning said...

I love it when my 11 and 9 year old kids walk by humming AC/DC!!! Cracks me up!! And you know you love it too...LOL

Running Boston again! YAY Nitmos!!! I wish I could too.

Happy New Year!!

Lisa Slow-n-Steady said...

The best cure for guitar hero world tour or rock band is to declare that YOU want to play and YOU want to play drums.

I've found that after a few songs, the kids surprisingly no longer want to play.

Hmmm. wonder why? ;-)

Richard said...

Great Post. Boston for me may end up being "finding" an entry. I just don't run that fast

Ms. V. said...

Oh. My. God.

Rock Band rocks my house. Two boys, guitar and drums...with ME singing Wanted Dead or Alive. (I loathe the drumsticks too)

Seriously,'re a great read. Happy Christmas to you, and have a great New Year!!!

Marcy said...

Santa was waaayyy too generous. I'd buy that for myself and then take the sticks and beat the kids over the head with them. It's the only way to roll.

Roisin said...

Oh least it wasn't karaoke with Jonas Brothers tunes. One of my little cousins got that and I'm still having nightmares.

aron said...

i hope to be turning left on boylston in 2010 too :)

congrats!!! such an awesome accomplishment, definitely deserves #1 :)

Reid said...

No list for me. But had I a list, that turn would be my #1 as well. I plan to get back there (or at least qualify to get back there) in 2010, too.