Friday, June 26, 2009

Silly Old Bear

I used to have a Winnie the Pooh bear stuffed animal when I was a wee lad. I’m not going to lie to you, I snuggled that thing until its little red shirt started to rip and tear. It wasn’t til years later that I came across him again and – noticing the lack of pants now – became slightly uncomfortable and began an intensive re-evaluation of my childhood. Here I had been carrying on a mostly platonic relationship with Winnie the Eunuch all those years while my parents coyly sat by playing Mr. Furley to my Jack Tripper.

The funny thing is, I’m not really a boobPooh guy either. Tigger always seemed the cool one - all hopped up on amphetamines and bouncing around the 100 Acre Woods one glow stick and pacifier short of turning the place into a rave. I even donned a papier mache Tigger head and costume for the local parade one year at the age of twelve (no amphetamines for me though.) My buddy got stuck with the Pooh costume. He thought it was better at the time. Ha, jokes on you, eunuch.

There’s been a lot written about Pooh and friends and their character traits. Some real deep psycho babble stuff trying to correlate each of their personalities to a certain human psychological profile. For the record, I think that kind of stuff is stupid. They’re playful kids book characters for chrissakes. Leave ‘em alone!

No, if anything, they should be compared to runner’s personalities. See, “experts”? You’ve been one upped by a jackass with a blog.

I think we’ve all seen these type of folks at a race:

The Pooh

As written: Silly, very little brains, loves honey, easy going, wants to solve ‘rumblee in tumblee’ crisis.
As a runner: Didn’t train for the race, not exactly sure how far “10k” is in “feet”, forms a human barrier with other Pooh runners preventing anyone from passing, seeks race medal like pot of honey

The Tigger

As written: bouncy, is the "only one”, likes to bounce because that’s what he does best, appears to have a chemical dependency, is a headstrong risk taker.
As a runner: hardcore runner, trains hard and challenges for PR’s, will endanger everyone’s life around them to get what they want, will run until vomiting, is ‘high on life’ (and prescription drugs)

Eeyore

As written: gloomy, has tail detachment issues, thanks you for noticing him, a real negative Nelly, the closest character to the hated llama in the bunch.
As a runner: tries hard but always fears the worst, poor attitude limits training, needs constant encouragement, could run better if stopped making excuses all the time, always runs directly beneath a rain cloud.

Piglet

As written: effeminate, likes balloons
As a runner: effeminate, likes sparkly race medals

Rabbit

As written: very organized, confident, pushy, arrogant, yellow, likes to wear aprons
As a runner: extremely detailed training plan, all the latest technological running gadgets, looks down the nose at the newbie runner, wears aprons

Kanga and Roo

As written: “Now now Roo, you mustn’t do that dear”, “But momma”, a real yin-yang thing going on here, bipolar, dominant-submissive
As a runner: can never decide on a race strategy, goes too fast then too cautious, can never get the balance just right, on Zoloft, nickname may be Master...or The Gimp.

Christopher Robin

As written: friend to everyone, likes birthday parties and yellow shirt wearing, over active imagination probably indicates actual Christopher Robin is in a coma
As a runner: that annoying, over eager runner that bounces around at the start line chatting everyone up but has a closet full of Field Day “participation” awards, nice guy but, dude, we are running a race here, and what’s up with the non-moisture wicking yellow shirt?

Which one are you? A combination of some or all?

I’m probably a bit of a Tigger with some Rabbit thrown in. I like to go all out on race day even it means nudging a slower, Gatorade sipping runner head first into the aid station table (water cups spraying everywhere) with a barely noticeable hip check on my way through. And I’m extremely anal about training schedules and planning. In fact, you could say that my I’m so anal that I’m stitched up tighter than my old stuffed Pooh’s posterior.

And, now that I think about it, maybe I do have a dash of Pooh also. I typically run my races pantless and slathered in honey. There’s nothing more enjoyable than the sound of a bottomless race: Thud slap thud slap.

Don’t assume you know what the ‘thud’ is.

Happy trails and Have A Great Weekend!
_________________________________

Two mile time trial this weekend! Saturday = 2 x 1600 with 800m recovery between. This should really give me a clue as to 5k readiness. Shooting for 5:45 pace for the 1600's! Sunday = 8-10 mile long run.

30 comments:

Jamoosh said...

Technically, since there is a tattoo of Tigger on my left arm that reads "Run Happy" I would be considered a Tigger type runner. But based on your drug store variety psychoanalysis I have to admit having a smidgen of Kanga & Roo in there somewhere in my "bounce."

By the way, Tigger would skip the long run this weekend and instead go ape crazy on a five mile run as hard as he could (includes vomiting) to not just prepare, but truly gauge where he is for his attempt at a 5K PR. Just my two cents.

girlrunningaround said...

Great post!

I just found your blog via all of the bashing Vanilla does on you. LOL! It's nice to add a fellow Michigander to my blogroll!

Roisin said...

I'm Eeyore, sans the bad attitude. I wish there was a rain cloud following me when I run!

I Run for Fun said...

LOL! I'm mostly Tigger, but can be like the Roo...

Turi said...

Hmm, a running apron. For gels and stuff? Could be a new trend...

Sun Runner said...

"It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like 'What about lunch?'"

I think that Pooh quote describes you to a T. ;)

I'm a total Rabbit. With a dash of Tigger. :)

Marlene said...

Awesme post. Love the analogies!

I'd LIKE to think I'm all Tigger and Rabbit, but I've had my Kanga/Roo days and even Eeyore days.

Lisa Slow-n-Steady said...

dunno which one I am. hmmm

Viper said...

Eeyore, all the way.

Shannon said...

I'd like to punch yo ass for making me admit that I'm a sucka for the sparkly medal and soos it goes...

I'm piglet!

Now off to consume a 1/2 gallon of Cold Stone and rub my medals all over myself. :)

Xenia said...

Crap. I'm totally Eeyore, but Viper has admitted to the same thing. Part of me just died inside. Thanks a lot, Nitmos.

FYI, Tigger also didn't wear pants and was very much a eunuch just like his tubby friend. Anyway you play it, you end up schlong-less. Sorry dude.

Vanilla said...

@girlrunningaround: Get back to Half-Fast RIGHT NOW!! It is not my intent to bring new readers here to FMS!

I'm Tigger all the way. Oh, and Piglet is a pussy. I'm sorry, there's just no other way to say it.

Jess said...

Tigger was always my favorite, in fact my first cat's name was Tigger. And...I'm probably similar to your Tigger/Rabbit combo, maybe with just a touch of Kanga and Roo on an off day.

BrianFlash said...

Rabbit without the bad attitude toward newbie runners. But, when I do pass someone (which happens rarely) I do make fun of them inside.

No apron though - but I've been looking for a running gimmick. Maybe that's what I need?

Al's CL Reviews said...

Eeyore mostly!

B.o.B. said...

Hilarious. I think I am a Christopher Robin and Piglet. What? Don't judge. A girl needs sparkly race medals.

Vava said...

Awesome analysis. I'm definitely a combo between Rabbit and Tigger, though you don't mention which of the two suffers from overuse injuries constantly... Have a great time trial!

Lauren said...

Did they even have raves when you were young? I didn't realize ecstacy was so old.

I guess I'm eeyore, but wish I had the rain cloud to ease the 100 degree weather. That might make me even more of an eeyore that I wish I had more doom and gloom to make me happy.

I don't know, though. I also really like shiny things and have often gotten stuck in places because I ate so much I wouldn't fit through the door...

Irene said...

LMAO...

OK, I'm Piglet with a hint of Tigger.

I grew up with the Christopher Robin type... That's my bro, to a T!

Katie said...

Typically I'm more Kanga and Roo but last night I was totally Ms. Eyeore. I was bemoaning running and vowing to never lace up my New Balances again due to the fact a friend who started running 2 months ago is smoking me at all distances under 4 miles. Who does she think she is?

aron said...

I think I am probably similar to you too... PR chasing, training schedule addict :)

although i dont snub my nose at newbies because i still am pretty new :)

Kristina said...

I'm sorry. I couldn't get to the personality test without getting hung up on your use of the term "papier mache." Taken with your use of "fashionista" a few weeks ago and some might say you're quite the Piglet, though of course I would never suggest such a thing myself.

AKA Alice said...

Am completely Piglet. If there's no race medal, I'm not really interested...

I like sparkly things for all holiday gifts as well (just in case anyone was wondering).

X-Country2 said...

Swap out sparkly race medals for race shirts, and I'm so Piglet.

(Awesome post, btw)

Stuart said...

Yep file me under Tigger/Rabbit...looks like i an in fine company!

Jess said...

Haha I think I'm probably a Tigger for the most part, but sometimes I've got a little bit of Eeyore going on

Blyfinn said...

I'm a Roo for sure. To a T.

Adam said...

*sigh* I'm piglet. I loves me some medals - and bejewels.

Velma said...

Love the post. I am piglet. I am shallow and like shiny medals and the free t-shirt.

I don't get twilight either.

sRod said...

This sounds like a facebook quiz.