Monday, June 29, 2009

Interval Blogging #1

4 x Pop Culture intervals today

Warm-up

Is everybody Michael Jacksoned out yet? I had some thoughts bubble to the surface this weekend and I know you’ve all been waiting for me to weigh in. This is kinda like when Rudy Giuliani appeared on Saturday Night Live after 9/11 and was asked if it was alright to laugh again. Of course it’s alright to laugh again. Otherwise, really, haven’t the cosmetic surgeons won? Here’s a menagerie of pop culture et al intervals. Beware of falling Michael Jackson references.

100 meters

File under: You know you are a runner when…

You walk into your office bathroom and, confronted with the dark yellow, unflushed urine of a co-worker, first think to yourself: Dude needs to hydrate.

400 meters

Moonwalk

With all the round-the-clock Jackson coverage, the one thing neat to see is both of my kids new found fascination with the moonwalk. Talk about a flashback to the 80’s! They are trying to moonwalk all over my smooth kitchen floor. If that’s the one thing they take from Michael Jackson, I can be thankful. I was silently fearing they would want a nose job. Who’s got the money for rhinoplasty these days?

800 meters

Blood Run

Against my will, we watched Twilight this weekend. Before you demand my Man card (and Adult card), know that I attempted to rent a four hour documentary on the History of the Super Bowl* but was overruled.

Bo-ring. What is the fascination with Twilight? Vampires, right? Where was the blood? The pointy fangs? Nothing. Just a bunch of pasty faced, sullen looking folks walking around with a chip on their shoulder. They were more emo than vampire.

At a few different points, they show the vampires racing through the woods at super sonic speed and I found my mind wandering to what it would be like to have that speed for a 5k. And why don’t vampires enter 5k’s if they can run like that? Or maybe they do and go just fast enough to make it look normal? Do they make blood flavored Gatorade? And are the undead technically even eligible for local 5k’s? Should we look into amending the rules?

Back to the movie…where were we? Oh, yeah, another blank faced, non dangerous vampire expressing feelings and not killing anyone. Pass the chips.

1600 meters

The Curious Case of Michael Jackson

Here’s an interesting conundrum: What do you tell your kids about this guy? They’re watching all the coverage, seeing the immense talent on display in the videos and concert footage, and then seeing the reports about his life and trials. And I mean Trials. Why was he on trial? What did he do to those kids? Why was he black and now he’s white? What happened to his nose? The questions go on and on.

Before all of these retrospectives, my kids only knew of the freaky Michael. They had no idea the guy could actually sing and dance like that. In fact, my kids are so young they are only aware of Crazy Britney too. They had no clue that there exists a pre-Freak Michael and a pre-Crazy Britney. O.J. has always been an acquitted murderer. And Star Wars is a big, bloated special effects series starring Jar Jar Binks. The shame.

I’ve found myself answering every one of their questions with a qualifier. Yes, he sure could sing and dance but….Or this video is from when he was normal. This one is before Bubbles the chimp. I bet this video was shot between nose job 7 and 8. Things like that. Viewing these videographies is like watching a man disintegrate before your eyes. And then trying to explain why to your kids.

I find myself feeling guilty for recognizing the man’s talent without pointing out the flaws lest I want to appear to be condoning his behavior. I know not everyone’s perfect – present company excluded - but I don’t want a grandchild named Blanket either. Just sayin’

Cool Down

These blogging intervals went about as well as my actual intervals this weekend. That is too say painful and a real struggle. 2 x 1600 meters with a 800m recovery between. First 1600 @ 5:43, I’ll take that. Second @ 5:59, I won’t take that. Maybe it was the one glove I was wearing that slowed me down. Rhinestone studs aren’t wind contoured.

Now, beat it.

* Some people call it “Steel Magnolias”.

28 comments:

Jamoosh said...

Pre-freakazoid Michael; Pre-crazy Britney. See you will always be able to tell your kids that things were much better bacvk when...

sneakersister said...

Obviously I haven't been watching any TV (other than the USATF Championships) or listening to any radio since last Thursday because I have not heard any MJ songs and am definitely no overloaded by it all. But then again, I never cared for his music anyway. Blasphemy!

Stuart said...

My 4 y/o wanted to know who Michael Jackson was and so I Goggled pic..."he looks like a girl with a funny nose, and why is he that funny color" he said; harsh but fair, kids can be so refreshingly honest!

Shannon said...

I've found myself answering the same questions about Michael. Here are the questions I had to answer...

"Why did he dangle that baby?" "Why was he black when he was younger but got whiter as he got older?" "Why does his nose look like that." "Why does he spin around and grab himself?"

I mostly explained how we love Michael up until Bad/Jerri Curl and then he got weird and goofy after that.

RazZDoodle said...

The hair on fire during the Pepsi shoot was the beginning of the end.

Thanks for the clever way of disguising bullets. Points for originality.

Lauren said...

hahaha. The urban dictionary definition says emo is 'like goth but less dark and more Harry Potter'. That might be the most direct and succinct definition I've heard.

Luckily I've managed to avoid Twilight despite multiple attempts by my sister and law and coworkers. I don't know of any 5ks run at night, either. That might be what's holding them back.

Roisin said...

I was forced to watch the sparkling vampire movie too. And I wasn't even in Boystown at the time...go figure.

cath said...

great post...very funny...my kids finally realize what a cool dancer and great singer too..the moon walk revival generation....

Jessica said...

Our convo went like this, "mom...you said he was a good dancer but he keeps grabbing his privates and you tell me not to grab mine, just to go to the bathroom when I have to. Does he have to go to the bathroom?"

Running and living said...

Hmm, my son was sheltered from all of these, given that he is only 3 and 1/2. Plus, he would not like Michael Jackson or Britney since none of them plays the guitar. And the vampire movie? Be glad you were not forced to read the books..
Ana-Maria

Serious Running: Chris Barber said...

Nice intervals. I'll have to admit. I've looked at other people's left urine and thought they needed to hydrate as well. Or worse yet, they are over hydrated and you don't even know they didn't flush the toilet!

aron said...

I like these intervals :) I bet MJ is a hard thing to explain to kids... its been so strange watching the transformation on tv since i had pretty much forgotten about the old michael.

you are a good husband, I only get to watch twilight when mine isnt around :)

Betsy said...

I misread your comment about "I was overruled" w/r/t watching Twilight and was fairly sure you wrote, "I ovulated."

Beth said...

Yes, having a granchild named blanket wouldn't be good. Maybe it wasn't the glove that was slowing you down, but the red and black "Thriller" jacket you were wearing. Nice post!

Kristina said...

LOL. That's all I've got today; I'm tired from weeping over MJ retrospectives.

Reluctant Runner said...

Yeah, I feel similarly conflicted about the whole MJ thing. If I wouldn't let him babysit my kids, is it wrong to have the song "Wanna Be Starting Something" on my iPod? The whole issue is "too high to get over and too low to get under" for moi.

On changing cultural references: my kids make fun of mullets without ever having seen the hairstyle in its original form (not to mention Farrah's "feathered hair"). But that's the way of it. We only knew Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher as Princess Leia's parents. Did our parents feel the need to explain about Elizabeth Taylor?

Lisa Slow-n-Steady said...

Dude - Michael Jackson died?!? How on earth did I miss that?!?!

(as if...)

luckily, my kids are old enouogh to make their own opinions of MJ - no explanation needed (they think he was a brilliant artist back in the day, but a few crayons short of a box)

Caroline said...

ahahahahaha, "dude needs to hydrate"!!!

Xenia said...

LOL at Betsy!

I refuse to read the Twilight book series or watch the movies. I pretty much hate everything dealing with vampires, so that's a permanent no-go for me.

X-Country2 said...

This is why I don't have kids. I love nothing more that judging celebrities, so there's no way I'd be able to be objective.

Rural Runner E said...

I feel your pain about Twilight. I had to watch Confessions of a Shopaholic, but I did get to also rent Frost / Nixon....very creative post. Loved it.

BrianFlash said...

I think Billy Mays is getting the shaft - he has much more TV time then any of these other so called celebrities.

And your kids already know who he is - no uncomfortable explanation necessary.

Melissa said...

Nitmos: his nose FELL OFF. They had to give him a transplant. But it was unfortunately a failed (and dead) Miss California contestant's nose. Well, they tried.

And I was wondering earlier this week whether MJ had been elected pope at some point and I had missed it.

Nat said...

ON MJ -- then I'll let it go. It would be like if OJ died and all we talked about was football, you know?

Anyway:
My son wanted to know why MJ was turning into a white woman. no word of a lie. (Why was his voice so high? Good question...)

We were just really really honest about it, about mental illness. Then a propos of nothing went into the 'don't let grown ups touch you... '

Best line is still from CNN... "He touched a lot of people..."

Blyfinn said...

I don't think I will ever be able to describe MJ to my kids. It's juts to weird and scary.

Ted said...

Hmmm... makes you wonder why he has to tip-toed when he crotched. Nevertheless, I haven't touch my remote control cuz there's nothing good to watch.

Irene said...

In light of the death of Michael Jackson and the 24/7 news coverage, I've been watching nothing but Bravo, The Food Network and HGTV for the past week on purpose. I'd even add ESPN to the list but we don't subscribe to it...

Good job on the intervals, but will it improve your blog time?

sRod said...

I was dragged to see Twilight on opening weekend. What a God-awful movie.