Friday, August 15, 2008

Strollered

In a recent post, I had linked to this picture in my 5k race and SLB, aka Quadrathon, made the observation that it appeared I was very nearly being “strollered”. I found this funny. And surprising that none of the rest of you took this opportunity to blast me. If you are looking for the same consideration from me when posting your race photos, you’ll be disappointed. I also note that it appears I’ve been head banded by at least two people already according to the same photo.

We’ve all seen these terms before: chicked, duded, etc. I believe it’s loosely defined as:
transforming the noun, of the person or object passing you while running, into a
hilarious or, at least, mildly amusing, verb to emphasize your
humiliation.

I want to give credit where credit may be due. These terms may have been floating around the interwebs for years as far as I know but the first place I encountered “chicked” was at Half Fast. And possibly “duded” also though it seems like I may have run across that first at Frayed Laces. If you invented these terms instead, good for you. And get over yourself.

I’ll give “strollered” to Quadrathon. Though, again, feel free to arm wrestle each of these site owners for proper credit if you’ve been slighted here. Don’t sue me. I don’t take well to being sued. I tend to cry, suck my thumb, and ball up in a corner until it’s all over. I’m more of the “suer”* type than a “suee”.

Consider this an additional list of verbs to use that may help to describe your latest humiliation while running. I didn’t both to spell this out phonetically. If you can’t sound these out on your own, you shouldn’t be here anyway. This is a PG-13 blog (I'm looking at your Chinese "women's" gymnastics team).

I’ve experienced many of these (read, all of these) at some point during my running life.

strollered (v) being passed by someone pushing a brat in a wheeled conveyance.

molassesed (v) moving slower than spilled molasses oozing across a counter.

hot air ballooned (v) being passed by the notoriously imperceptibly floating object that never seems to budge from its position in the sky.

Priused (v) being passed by this motorized Toyota that, based on appearance, lends one to think you really should be able to beat it.

grand mothered (v) being flat out beaten by a woman or man (grand fathered) that attended Woodstock or, at least, remembers when Dick Van Dyke was hilarious.**

Schwinned (v) to pass on foot a cyclist. Here, the embarrassment belongs to the biker.

lawn mowered (v) being eclipsed by the smart ass neighbor cutting his lawn with the push mower.

Fisher Priced (v) being overtaken by a toddler or young child that is no more than 3 years removed from a regular play date with Little People.

funeraled (v) having your run interrupted by a funeral procession that leaves you wondering ‘ just how many people knew this guy anyhow??’ followed by thoughts of ‘is it rude to cut through the procession’ and, finally, leaves you pondering how many cars will be in your own procession one day.

Skechered (v) being passed by a runner wearing completely inappropriate running shoes where you know this person has no idea what they are doing but still managed to overtake you.

prided (v) having your dignity and arrogance continue on ahead without you as you pull off mid race to attend to a calf cramp. (See, in particular, Chicago Marathon ’07 and Boston ’08).

Please add to this list as you see fit. Get your term out there so you can officially take credit and sue the pants off anyone else who tries to steal it.

* Note: Despite how it sounds, this does not say “sewer”.
** At my last 5k, there was a woman who grand mothered ALL of us. At least, based on age graded ranking. She’s 66 years old and finished 136th of 1088 overall with a time of 21:43. However, she scored a whooping 97.3% - World Class level - on the age grade scale and 1st overall!!

__________________________________________

The Beer Schlitz

File this away in the General Indifference and Public Apathy folder. Pabst Brewing has announced they are remaking Schlitz beer. Like a tree falling in the forest, will anyone even taste it? Are they trying to set the record for the biggest collective indifferent shoulder shrug in history? Quick, someone contact Shasta and let 'em know it's time to step up their soda production.

Is it just me or should we not name a beer after something that rhymes with “shits”? Although it appears Blatz has gotten away for years with a name that resembles the sound my esophagus makes when it rejects it back into the toilet.

Thanks Schlitz! Can't wait to pass you by in the grocery store again and buy good beer. Here's to you!
_________________________________________

Steer Tange forwarded me an Amby Burfoot article from Runner's World. The article, about marathoners competing in the Olympic Games, is interesting in and of itself. However, what makes it truly special is the last line. I smell another law suit. You know, my favorite kind. The kind where I'm the suer.

Fist bumps!!

29 comments:

Kristina said...

In addition to "henned" (i.e., passed by a mother), I will suggest the inclusion of being passed by a walker when I thought I was running. I call it being "mortified."

Jodie said...

Bonnetted - I was actaully right in front of a lady wearing denim shorts and yes a bonnet! I'm so not even kidding. And probably if my sister wasn't laughing so hard, she would have taken a picture.

Vava said...

If I ever pass anybody they can say they've been "ankled"...

theloosemoose said...

I know it sounds super dirty on this here PG-13 blog, but every winter I get "plowed".

Lisa Slow-n-Steady said...

"Sauntered" - being passed by anyone who appears to be moving at a leisurely pace while you're out there huffing and puffing and working your tail off.

tfh said...

When I was running in Vermont, I totally tractored people. Although I've been bovined (they can be fast at mealtime). I love Skechered but can I also use it for what I do to all those runners who have Way Too Much Expensive But Nonessential Gear, or is there a better word for that?

Vanilla said...

I absolutely claim "chicked" as a word I made up on my own, my first documented use of such word was on 9/6/2008 (subject to change if someone has an earlier documented use by another party).

There, now that you've attributed it to me and I've done likewise I think I'm safe... despite the fact that I'm quite certain I saw it used on a running forum before I ever thought of it myself.

Vanilla said...

Obviously that should read 9/6/2007 since we haven't reached 9/6/2008 yet. Crap! Did I just mess up my claim?

Also I'd like to add the word "Idioted" for when you get passed by Nitmos, I'm sure I can count on Viper to back me up on this one.

Jess said...

college soccer teamed...all of them...even the scrubs that ride the bench

Marathon Maritza said...

According to your list, I was 'dogged' on Wednesday, but I'd like the official translation to read - "nearly being chewed/bitten/attacked by a dog whilst running."

This is not to be confused with actually getting chewed/bitten/attacked by a dog whilst running, which is called a 'lawsuit.'

Michelle J said...

I am in the process of chicking two male runners! Check it out here:

http://runningdowndreams.wordpress.com/

I'm on a streak dude! I won't stop until august 31st. I will have 35 days then. I may go for 40!! I am so chicking!!

*aron* said...

sketchered - my first race there was a guy running in those slide on vans and they were SOOO loud. i could hear him coming... sprint then stop and walk, SPRINT stop and walk... all with the banging of slide on checkered vans.

Viv said...

Oh holy heck those are some great ones. Fisher Priced spreading that one aroound like wildfire man. It is gonna catch on once I start rolling it out there. First Nitmos blog next Webster!

MizFit said...

I LOVE THIS Skechered.
methinks I did that. once. and then fell over with ginormous blisters about a mile down the road.

MizFit

Xenia said...

'Molassesed' is so me. All the time. If I ever actually pass anyone, they should just hang their head in shame and scurry off home, because that's just pathetic, dude.

Colin said...

Being passed by someone in a Rascal or a wheelchair, or someone with fewer than two complete legs: gimped

Being paced by mormons on bicycles while they give you their pitch: mormonitored

I would like there to be a way to be "fish sticked", but I don't know what that could be.. maybe someone in waders or a yellow raincoat.

Ms. V. said...

I was grandmothered last week.

What about when a school kid passes you...one you never even saw at the beginning.

And the new one: Whoever I'm racing to the finish...and they win. What's that?

Humility.

Marcy said...

ROFLMAO this is a sweet list!

I've been Gma-ed and Gpa-ed waaayyy too many times. I've had a convo during a race with a fellow runner with us both looking at each other and agreeing "Dang that old lady CANNOT beat us" and yet . . .she did. BAH!

MissAllycat said...

I got mulleted earlier this week. It was actually the nearly fatal mulleted/back-haired combination. *shudder*

Erin said...

These are hilarious.

I try not to run, but on the ski slopes I always get "3-year-old with no ski poles-ed." The little ones have NO fear.

The Young Family said...

I have been "granmothered" before... my first tri - damn 70 year old was fast!

I have one to add: caned
Being passed by a person with a cane or walking stick.

Yes I was passed by a lady with a cane, she passed nearly everyone on our team... her finish time in a half.... 2:20.... why did she have the cane?

nwgdc said...

I'd add "Walkered" to the list...as in one of the beginning scenes of "Office Space."

Em said...

These are funny!

But one new verb that I'm finding a bit annoying at the moment is 'podiumed'...

SLB said...

Who knew! And surely (yes stop calling me surely) it would be sewered?

Anyone one from the weekend; although I was a giver rather than a taker and it kinda felt a bit funny "stalkered" (v) to overtake the same group of females (usually walking dogs) multiple times during the same run on various trail.

i.e. a head to head and then a overtake would not qualify. You need a head to head then another head to head then an overtake then a head to head and then an overtake...I was feeling a bit embarrassed by the end.

SJ Goody said...

Just last night my Mom asked- "What's the beer that made Milwaukee famous?". To which I replied "Milwaukee is famous?" (Coming from a girl whose state sometimes is confused with a city in New York... for those that haven't gotten the memo yet. RHODE Island is NOT in or around LONG Island.) Turns out... its Schlitz... that "made Milwaukee famous". Personally, I think the greatest beer related fame to come from Milwaukee are the Miller High Life dudes who remove all the beer from undeserving drinking establishments.

Eric Gervase said...

I actually have two... One is the one that I'm sure you wish I would have skipped... Phelpsed... It's when you're running past a body of water and someone passes you swimming.

The second is "Nited". A running buddy of mine who is much faster than me got passed in a half marathon by a Mennonite wearing boots, jeans and a button down shirt. Yikes. (I live in the Lancaster, PA area so Mennonite and Amish are actually pretty common).

sRod said...

Ahem, I coined the term "geriatriced" about a year ago and I think it is a much better term than "grandmothered."

"Sketchered" I love and will use regularly.

Also, I think the proper definition of "Phelpsed" is when some passes you so fast that there is no possible way that you can catch them. And then the guy laps you...8 times..and sets a world record in the process. That is when you are Phelpsed.

Eric Gervase said...

sRod... Good stuff. I like the revision.

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