One of my more endearing qualities is the ability to find that one phrase, habit, or action that really annoys Mrs. Nitmos and/or the kids and repeat it ad nauseam until I’m threatened with physical violence…or, at least, a weeks worth of eating “ham steaks”. Shudder. As long as it makes me laugh, I can completely ignore the increasingly angry looks I receive in return.
To illustrate: Whenever someone requires a clean up to their mopish top, they might say “I’m going to get a hair cut.” To which, I respond, “Why don’t you get them all cut? Same price.” See? Hilarious. Now, imagine that you’ve heard that “joke” at least 108 times over the years. See? Even more hilarious.
Welcome to Fist Bump Vacation.
I’m not sure where this idea hatched. At some point, I started demanding fist bumps from Mrs. Nitmos for every trivial event. We just passed through the yellow light before it turned? Fist bump. Gas went down 2 cents? Fist bump. Is that a blue jay? Fist bump.
Now anyone that knows me knows I’m very anti-high five so this is probably pretty confusing that I’d be demanding fist bumps so frequently. I haven’t been a fist bump guy before but once you start, you know what, you just can’t stop. And Mrs. Nitmos is not overly receptive to receiving fist bump requests so our execution appeared a bit disjointed. Several times I needed to demand the fist bump before I’d get one. And this was always preceded by an Eye Roll. An eye roll fist bump is just not the same, you know?
We were watching previews before a movie and the trailer for Beverly Hills Chihuahuas came on. This is movie magic! And certainly worthy of a fist bump (especially considering the morning’s bowl of Lucky Charms got one.)
Mrs. Nitmos left me hanging on that one. Seems shes got something against Chihuahuas from 90210.
Here’s a run down of the weeks highlights in lazy, non-paragraphy bullet points:
- We attended a performance of the touring version of Wicked at Michigan State University’s Wharton center. I was lured there by the promise of a Gallagher show that, sadly, never materialized.
- We spent most of the week in Traverse City boating, tubing, sunning, sanding, running, and movieing.
- Mrs. Nitmos suffered severe sun burns that nearly required a trip to the Ready Care. We were on our way but I wanted to stop for a donut and, you know, one thing led to another and by the time I awoke from my post-donut nap, she seemed to be...fine (i.e. "sleeping").
- The 4th annual Traverse City Film Festival was taking place. This event is best described in two words: strange bedfellows. The creator and manager of it is uber liberal Michael Moore (who lives in the area) but the city – and that entire region of Michigan – is overwhelmingly conservative. So, you have all of these arch conservative businessmen, politicians, and townsfolk working arm in arm with Michael Moore to make this festival successful (and increasingly popular!) Funny to watch it unfold. Funny in a weird way.
- We attended a festival film that was so disturbing and controversial that I counted no less than 7 people storming out of the theatre. One man let his feelings be known by shouting obscenities at the screen on his way out. He must not have noticed the 2 dimensional image of the actors. They couldn’t hear his rant. Idiot.
- We wandered down to do a bit of celebrity stalking as well. Alas, Madonna had already entered the theatre a few minutes before we arrived. No word on whether she wore her cone bra to the event. I’ll assume she did.
- With Mrs. Nitmos on her bike and me on my Asics, we took the T.A.R.T. trail out for a few runs during the week. Very, very nice.
I am tanned. Still toned. Sore from multiple Smashminton matches. And loaded with snarkiness. Once “work” decides they don’t need me to “catch up”, I’ll let it all spill forth onto these pages.
Oh, and did I mention the waitress that complained she couldn’t bring our food to the table due to her rheumatoid arthritis? Or find anyone else to help her?
That was awesome.
It seems someone has taken to calling me an idiot while I was away. If I wasn't such an idiot, I'd be appalled and seeking retribution. Instead, know that I spent more than one night at a $1 per pint pub whittling away the hours this past week. You?