I used to run this semi regular feature called "Randumbness" about, as you would guess, various random and dumb things going on. It was a nice page filler. You thought you were getting actual carefully constructed content. Instead, you were getting fluff, filler, time wasters. I'm not saying this to foreshadow this post. I'm just saying the post title is Randumbery and if you can put 2 and 2 together....well, we'll both be pleasantly surprised at your cognitive skills.
Big Brain on Brett
I’m going to reveal to you all an ancient but tightly guarded secret on how to keep forehead sweat from running into your eyes. You might think to yourself, easy, bandanna. Or headband. Or wicking hat (or wickeding hat, if you are from Boston). Nope. Nope. And nope.
Well, maybe they’ll all work for that purpose. I don’t know. I don’t wear anything on my noggin’ whilst running as my brain is constantly flexing and volatile and cannot be contained by an inflexible hat band. Plus, my parietal lobe is frickin’ sweet and should not be covered up. That’d be like putting clothes on Michelangelo’s David (though I think most men would agree he should be at least wearing a thong.)
My family secret for keeping sweat out of eyes, handed down generation by generation, known only to close relatives and anyone who reads Runner’s World or any other running reference periodical? Chapstick. That’s right. Smear some Chapstick on the forehead above the eyebrows and watch the sweat magically disappear before reaching your eyeballs.
Try it out. Honest, I’m not trying to make you look like a douchebag.
I’d Gotta Know What A $5 Milkshake Tastes Like
I was all set to slam this horrible tasting fruit snack I had the other day. On the fly, I picked up a couple X-Treme Fruit Bites snack packets promising no preservatives, no fat, no artificial flavors and an “excellent source of vitamin C”. They were only .39 cents and I’m up for all of those things (or none of those things as the case may be.) I bought one grape and one strawberry flavor as .78 cents is a bit much to take out of the family budget.
Did you ever want to cut off your own tongue or get angry with your esophagus for not initiating the gag reflex? That’s how I felt after the first few bites of the grape flavor bites. I pressed on, basically, in disbelief that it really couldn’t be this awful tasting. I double and triple checked the package to see if it's corporate motto was 'It Makes You Feel Like You Are Dead Inside!' It had to get better didn’t it? Horrible. In the trash it went.
So, I sat here ready to let X-Treme Fruit Bites have it in Randumbery III with this lonely, menacing packet of strawberry bites staring at my from the drawer. I couldn't just throw out the strawberry packet without even trying it. Who's got .39 cents to burn? That's like 10 percent of a gallon of gas. The thought of bullying kids for their lunch money (again) just didn't appeal to me. I figured I’d sample those while I wrote this entry just to remind myself of how irate and ill feeling I got when testing the first packet. But you know what? Strawberry wasn’t too bad. In fact, it was pretty good.
I would rather lick a walrus’s armpit before having the grape bites again but strawberry? Sure.
We’re Gonna Be Like Three Little Fonzies Here
Three summer movie notes of only mild interest:
Best Film Wherein Someone Dies From a Golf Club Beating? Funny Games.
Best Use of Well-Coiffed Cavemen to Completely Distort History? 10,000 B.C.
Funniest Testicles-Rubbed-On-A-Drum-Set Scene? Stepbrothers.
Ringo’s Proud of You And So Am I. It’s Almost Over.
Twenty miles Sunday morning. Roctane GU here I come. Now things are getting serious…
Happy Labor Day.
9 sluggish miles last evening barely worth mentioning. I can't shake the chest congestion. Boo-hoo.
Don't forget to check out Reid's One Mile Virtual Race announcement and get in on the action.