Monday, May 05, 2008

Mission 5k: F.M.S Official Policy Statement

Speed. Speed. Speed.

That’s what I’m looking for this summer. The next couple of months will be devoted to getting this body to move just a little quicker. In other words, I’ll be fartleking all over the place. Fartleking here. Fartleking there. Fartleking anywhere. If you’re not careful, I might just be fartleking in your hometown. And if you think I’m done saying fartlek, you’re wrong. We still have 3 more to go.

I’ll also be Repeating like a howitzer (thanks Carla! Cheers, circa 1990).

Now that the 3 humped marathon hurdle that started last October and ended in Boston has been crossed, I’m ready to cut loose and work on some long neglected PR’s in 5k’s, 10k’s (this won’t be hard- I’ve never run one), 15k’s, and 10 milers. Consider this an official Feet Meet Street Summer Policy Directive.

Basically, I hope to bring out my inner Carl Lewis. Except, quite a bit farther than 100m. But not nearly as fast. And I’m not going to shave my head to a flat top.

As I bid my family adieu and embark on this self serving Summer of Speed, I can’t help but be a bit pre-nostalgic for all the kids’ baseball games I’ll miss. The kite flying I won’t do again this year. The lawn Mrs. Nitmos will need to cut (and seed, please.) Again this year, I was planning to avoid going to the local park to play Frisbee. I had a million excuses already loaded up on why I couldn’t teach my daughter to ride a bike. In short, there was a world of things I wasn’t going to do this summer that, now, I won’t be able to do again this year.

I’ll be at the track or on the road fartleking, repeating, fartleking, repeating and fartleking yet again (and repeating again also). * When I’m not at the track, I’ll be studying speed in which ever form it exists including - but not limited to - drag racing on ESPN, standard lion tackling antelope footage on Animal Planet, and neighborhood teenager driving rusty old Pontiac Sunbird by my house.

I’ve surfed the running blogs. I’ve read the running magazines. I’ve developed a detailed list of who to blame if my planned speed explosion doesn’t pan out. I think I’m ready.

With scapegoat(s) firmly in place, I press on to become a quicker, leaner Nitmos. I am determined to become as fast as possible and decorate my shelves with age group awards I acquire from poorly attended, unpopular races. Over the course of the summer, the awards will soon replace the love of my children. In fact, they’ll become my children. The first two I win, I’ll name exactly the same as my current two trophies, er, kids.

If you have any speed improving tips, please don’t be shy. Share away. This will both assist me in my pursuit AND provide me an additional scapegoat.

5k Goal: Sub 19:00
10k Goal: Actually run one. Oh, and break 41:00
15k Goal: Probably won’t get to one of these this year so whose foolin’ who?
10 Mile: Sub 1:10:00

I feel bad that I won’t be around much this summer. My family will miss out on my unerring conditional love. Pickle jars will go left unopened. Pictures won’t be hung. The TV remote will go less fondled. On the positive side, they’ll be free to pursue other hobbies other than stroking my easily bruised ego. It’s a win-win. Plus, I’ve been around for every summer of my son (age 10) and daughter’s (age 6) life so far. So I miss one? By my math, that’s still 9/10 summers, or 90%, for my son. A solid “A-“. And 5/6, or 83%, for my daughter. A low “B”. Quality grades.

And, for me, there’ll be that many less occasions where I have to say “please leave daddy alone in the dark with his bottle.”

Ah, yes, the summer of speed. I look forward to ye.


* Note: This in no way is referencing a bowel movement despite the way it reads.

__________________________________________________

While I’m away, Mrs. Nitmos will need time to pursue her hobby (re: gambling addiction). So, I’ve explained to the kids how to use the internet and that they should believe and do everything they see on it. For the next several months, please keep your blog posts helpful and edifying. And if someone in your comments section keeps typing in “9-1-1” or “help us” or "feed us" over and over again, please explain to “pick up the phone and call grandma” in your next post when you get around to it. Thanks!

23 comments:

L*I*S*A said...

Ahhh, but there is a 15K in your future. It's called Bastille Day here in Fenton in mid-July. It's 'hilly and challenging'...sound good? If you're interested, let me know, and I'll give you a link to read more about it.

KimsRunning said...

You did GOOFY???? OMG, you're a maniac!!! Is there a post on that?? I thought I read your entire blog already!

Thanks for the high 5 on my Minnie Mouse 15K. I really did have a grand ole time. I did those fartleks (I call them frolics) during miles 4-7 and guess what??? I ran those 3 miles in 24 minutes. I didn't even realize it, my coach told me that this morning. I do so much better when I don't think about what I'm doing....lol.

Good luck on your 5K shave!!!

KimsRunning said...

Ok, I found your Goofy challenge blog. Awesome! Notice you ran the half in almost the exact time it took me for the 15K??? Kinda funny. But not really. It means I'm a slow poke...LOL

RazZDoodle said...

What the hell is a bowl movement? Do you crap place settings now?

Marcy said...

Yeah but if you're not around the children then who are you really going to blame if things don't go so well?

Paul said...

Re: Carl Lewis Plan
Will you give us advance notice of when and where you will be performing your hideous rendition of the Star Spangled Banner?

Re: Speed Tips
Any time saved on hills is pure money for a 5K. On downhills get your feet up and under quickly. This will allow you to increase your turnover and take advantage of gravity. On uphills keep your hips 'under you' so that you don't bend forward at the waist. Bending forward restricts your stride. Try this test: Do some high knee lift drills 'standing tall' with your hips slightly forward and then with a bend at the waist. It's a natural reacton to bend into an uphill, but not the best for running fast.

Re: This post and many others
Funny!

Viper said...

While you're away, Uncle Viper will teach your kids about proper fluid replacement and how to avoid Tequila face.

Triseverance said...

Ahhh the summer of speed sounds every so satisfying and self serving, how perfect.

tange said...

Tange's free Speed tips:

1. Do Plyometrics 2-3 times per week.
2. Do downhill repeats once per week, fast down and recover up the hill. note: For this workout, you may want to consider wearing a bike helmet as you will be more willing to really open things up if you aren't as concerned about being totally out of control and face planting.

My other tips will cost you.

Xenia said...

Why not just have your children strategically placed along your running route to heap praise upon you and provide you with refreshments? That way you can get around the whole abandoning your family-thing.

sistrurus said...

I don't know, but I think teaching the kidlings to ride a two-wheelers counts as speed work. That is, as long as you run along behind with your hand on the seat. And they're 12-year-olds.

Non-Runner Nancy said...

They really won't need the pickles opened anyway. They'll be fine. Anything for speed. I'll keep my tips to myself since we both know I really don't have any. Oh yeah, I heard suckling the teats of speed demons works. Now where did I read that again?

P.O.M. said...

I can SMELL the success of your FARTLEKs already.

Frayed Laces said...

Hand over your Garmin to your daughter. Instruct her to get on her bike and start pedaling behind you at a 5 minute per mile speed, and if she catches up to you she can run over your heels. "Encourage" her to keep the pace by brandishing your Boston medal.

MizFit said...

alas not much to add here except that I, as all nonrunners, adore and hath always been riveted by the f-word, I love your writing, and thought initially I was getting a CARLA-shout out.

oops.

MizFit

Amy@RunnersLounge said...

What a beautiful, beautiful plan! I dream of such a moment when it is just me and my running.

Such a great post as always!

nwgdc said...

it's about time you show your children how "selfish" is truly defined. for years now (10 and 6, to be specific) they've been starting the vast majority of their sentences with "can I," or "I want,"...
it's your turn to show them how to really revolve the world around one person.

i can't think of anyone better for this task.

Good luck and God SPEED.

jen said...

Good luck in the summer of speed! I also neglect the shorter distances and end up with soft or absent PRs. Hope you enjoy the short races- it's so nice to be done in under an hour and yet still deserving of the celebratory huge meal and drinks. :)

sRod said...

Summer of speed? Sounds better than the summer of distance I have planned...again.

SLB said...

And there was me thinking you were going to get all long distance on me!

Oh well being quick has it's appeal; wham, bam, medal, home for breakfast!

Blyfinn said...

Thanks for stopping by. I do plan to update that Marathon goal. However I feel like I should not change it since it was my first goal and I should have attained it if I wouldn't have cramped up.

Betsy said...

I think you can still spend time with your children. For example, you might try bench pressing them for some mild weight training.

The Laminator said...

I know you're all speed envious of me and everything even though I've been chased down by a lot less...my secret is to always pick fights only with those you know you'll beat...like a pregnant mom, guy with injured leg, and of course your kids...they all make you look so fast in comparison.

Seriously, if you want to race faster, just gotta train faster. Tempo runs, fartleks, intervals a couple of times a week should do the trick.