Monday, May 12, 2008

10k on the 10th

Sunny. Breezy. 55 degrees. Perfect race weather.

I headed out the door with the trusty mp3 player and Garmin for one loop around my kids’ elementary school, both of the community middle schools, into town and back home. Total distance would actually be 6 1/3 mile but I’d shut down Garmin at 10k distance of 6.22 miles.

The plan was…actually I had no plan. I really was just going to enjoy a morning run and let the time come in wherever it came in at. I figured, as far as you knew, I ran 5 minute miles.

A couple of miles in, honesty took hold (re: competitive spirit) and I picked up the pace. Like last Thursday night’s run, I treated the final 3 miles as 800 repeats with an 800 not-so-relaxed pace in between.

I did have some issues with Nancy’s aid stations. At the first one (1.5 mile mark), I reached out for the station workers cup and discovered it was hot coffee (and his GU packet was really a danish). Weird. And the profane shouts were hardly encouraging. (Note: Calling me “Jackass” never makes me run faster.) At the second (3.0 mile mark), my first thoughts were ‘okay, never received hydration through a baby bottle before.’ And never had an aid worker calling himself the “father” come up behind me and rain blows down on my head. However, this did, in fact, make me run faster.

The numbers:

6.22 miles
42:08 time
6:46 pace

Mile breakdown: 7:05, 7:00, 7:02, (turn on competitive juices here…outrun aid station worker named “father”) 6:34, 6:36, 6:30.

Again, no macings. No dog bites. Another successful run! I have never done a 10k before so this will now be my baseline for work at this distance (I should have gone slower so I could pretend that I am making huge improvements in the future.)

Plus, I did get an unexpected award! I have a cute little baby bottle with little teddy bears on it sitting on my shelf.

Afterwards, my ego was deflated as only your own children can do. My 6 year old daughter wanted to go for a run with me. I needed a cool down anyhow so, what the heck. So, we’re running along and I’m giving her a few tips on form, etc. I made a critical error though. I said, “Here, watch me. You should run like this.” To which, she replied “oh, okay” and proceeded to flail her arms and legs around like she was going in to some sort of epileptic fit. Jerk. She found that really funny. I found it really funny when I took her favorite My Little Pony away for the rest of the day.

Not sure from where she gets her sarcasm.

Gaunt, Revisited

I should have known. Runners are too uplifting. Too friendly. Too encouraging. Too decent. Basically, too not me.

In my last
post, I implanted a purposeful little shoe pebble hoping to burrow into your sole and spark some outrage and a few indignant comments. After all, who cares what a runner looks like? Who cares what anybody looks like (except that monster looking thing from The Goonies. That was, in fact, pretty weird looking)? Leave it to all of you to take the high road. I can’t drag any of you down into the mud?

Rest assured, this won’t be the last attempt. I will provoke some outrage at some point. Another shoe pebble will roll your way in the future. This time, step on it, get angry, and let loose.

Stop being so damn encouraging.

And when I make a crack about drinkable Crisco, I expect indignation…not an inquiry for directions to the store.

Happy trails.


Xenia said...

Your daughter rocks.

Kristina said...

You can be a guest blogger on my site--people get mad at me all the time. Congrats on your rockin' good 10k time.

L*I*S*A said...

I wish you would post a video of the daughter's interpretation of your running form on I find inspiration in many places.

nwgdc said...

someone else mentioned the fact you're STILL reading Don Quixote. Perhaps you could use this:,page-tableOfContents.html

Vanilla said...

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I think MP3 players were banned at this particular 10K. I'll be e-mailing Nancy and asking her to disqualify you.

Marcy said...

Don't you already have 2738913718263173 baby bottles collecting dust in your house already? I'm sure it sparked memories of when you used to pour gin and juice in your own kids bottles. I still do :P

Awesome run!! ;D ;D

KimsRunning said...

Like I've been telling my kids, 98% of all anger stems from jealousy. For you to take your daughter's My Little Pony tells me you WISH you could run like her!!!! Someday she's gonna "chick" you. LOL

tange said...

On Saturday, at McDonalds of all places, a man walked in who was about 6'0" and about 140 pounds. He was so gaunt, I think the insides of his cheeks were touching. My initial and all other subsequent thoughts were, "If I were gaunt like him, I could probably run a marathon 20 minutes faster.

gaunt envy haunts me.

Chad in the Arizona Desert said...

Well, I for one am outraged...outraged that you have never done a 10k. What's wrong with you, dude? Get it together and get 'er done.


Ovens2Betsy said...

You have gone TOO FAR with this post. The pebble is DEFINITELY lodged in my shoes, buddy. How DARE you make fun of epileptics. My husband is epileptic and it is NO FUN watching him flail around and drool all over our pillows. (Fortunately he doesn't flail while running, however; that'd just be EMBARRASSING. And perhaps a bit funny. Unless, of course, he hit his head. Then not so much).

I suppose your next post will include such tasteless jokes as how to turn your hot tub into a jacuzzi. Or you'll be posting that article about the hackers who got into the Epilepsy Foundation web site and embedded a bunch of rapidly flashing images which spurred epileptic seizures. (Although when I showed the article to hubby he thought it was hilarious. You guys are BOTH sick).

So that's it. I'm NEVER reading your blog again. (But still come to mine -- I appreciate the encouragement!)

MizFit said...


Im sending my Toddler Tornado to you for running gait instruction.
she's on her way.

Non-Runner Nancy said...

You loon. I'm just so glad I don't live with you. :D hee hee

Vanilla's right. You're treading on thin ice.

Thanks for running with us.


Scott said...

Not a bad 10K time... for an epileptic!

P.O.M. said...

Ahhhh kids. Gotta love them.

AddictedToEndorphins said...

Kids are cute:)
Great 10k run! Your ridiculously fast.
All I can say is someday!
Keep it up.
Oh, P.s. i'll try to be meaner.

Viv said...

Awesome 10K!!
Your daughter is too funny!

sRod said...

Can your daughter guest write?

Ms. V. said...

Your daughter is a rockstar.

Kevin said...

Man you are freakin fast. Great job on the 10K hope you didnt scare the kid too much when you took their bottle.

Runner Leana said...

Sorry to hear those aid stations weren't all that you were expecting. Sounds like you had a pretty good race with that time though!

Pokey said... only ran TWICE as fast as me??? You need to pick up the pace a little bit! :P

Thanks for visiting my blog and always giving so much encouragement! I think sometimes I might actually even deserve it, LOL!!!! :)