Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Disjointed, Incoherent Ramblings

We’ll file this under A Loose Collection of Updates to Fill Space and Allow Me to Actually Complete Work for My Employer. Unless some of you are going to start ponying up some cash, I’ll have to use work time for…work. My kids need their weekly meal.

Random Thought #1

I’m loving this No Marathon Schedule thing. Lace ‘em up, hit the road. Why not bust arse a bit and quicken the pace? I can. I don’t even need a reason. My next race may be a 5k in early July. Plenty of time to play around with some different kinds of speed work. As McDonald’s would say, I’m lovin’ it. If I had sensitive nipples, they would be protruding through my shirt. That’s how excited I am. Instead, years of running and chafing have de-sensitized and worn the little fellows away to pathetic nubs.

Random Thought #2

I really wanted to put a detailed post out there analyzing the differences between landlords Mr. Roper and Mr. Furley from Three’s Company. It’s a topic that fairly begs for psycho analysis. Though I am a bit psycho and in need of some analysis, this is way over my head. Despite their homophobic similarity, Roper and Furley had distinct personalities. One is an ascot wearing, leisure suit sporting, self professed ladies man whose butt could turn coal to diamonds (ed. note: meaning he’s uptight not that he has a tight butt). The other a frugal, flirt uninterested in his own wife who, upon making a zinger at his spouse, would smile at the camera in some sort of Creepy Old Man grin. I’ve always been a fan of Roper, the cardigan wearing anti-Mr. Rogers, over Furley. To this day, I still smirk at a fake camera staged somewhere in my house whenever I rip off a particularly good zinger to Mrs. Nitmos. I’d love to see this broken down further if any of you have endless of amounts of time laying around. If you have a psychology degree, you are probably unemployed anyhow and need something to do.

Random Thought #3

Run Less, Run Faster, the book detailing the FIRST method which – you may recall – was shamefully stolen from my own training experiences prior to getting around to writing it myself. It would have been great, too. Trust me. So, we’ll live with Furman’s research and dream of what could have been. There are hundreds of reviews out there so I won’t bore you with another one except to place my stamp of approval on it. For folks who don’t have lots of free time to spend training, this plan is going to give you the most bang (speed) for your buck (time).

Random Thought #4

Currently on page 965 of 1090 of Don Quixote. The longest read in history is close to ending. Great rejoicing throughout the lands! As was suggested, I may, in fact, allow you to vote on my next read. However, I will be selecting the candidates lest you nominate Ulysses (Joyce) or War and Peace (Tolstoy) or Wasteland (Elliot) or some other heavy-symbolism, overly descriptive tomb that’ll cause me another several months of reading drudgery where I consider ending it all in a hari kari styled ritual suicide with my lifeblood leaking out onto the open pages of the unfinished book. Metaphorically speaking, of course (and, apparently, run on sentence-ly speaking also.)

Random Thought #5

The Nielsen ratings book has been returned. All of you should prepare to watch plenty of Detroit sports teams in action along with The Office, The Family Guy, and lots of HGTV (thanks to Mrs. Nitmos) as well as any other silly, mind-numbingly stupid show with no redeeming qualities (thanks to me, again!) on TV. You will be thrilled with my selections for the rest of you. You’re welcome.

Big race weekend for many coming up. Good luck!

"Romper, bomper, stomper boo. Tell me, tell me, tell me, do. Magic mirror, tell me today. Have all my friends had fun at play?"

I see Mike. (Going for a PR and possibly a BQ!)
I see L*I*S*A. (Going for the finish line!)
I see NWGDC. (Going for a BQ!)
I see the Ottawa Marathoners.
I see Vanilla. (Vanilla is at the end because this is descending by distance. No other reason.)

Good luck to ALL runners this weekend. Even the ones I missed in the list above. And especially the ones not named after a flavor.

I’ll be at the Bayshore Marathon cheering on the Steers LDP crew. I’ll be around mile 7 (and 19 on the return trip) with my sign saying:

“Pheidippides Only Went 24 miles. Just Sayin’”.

Think about it.

Happy trails.

I haven't decided in what format to respond to Vanilla's broadside attack on the good ship F.M.S. I will be consulting with Darth Beardsley on the proper retort. Stay tuned.


Viv said...

LMAO smiling at the fake camera! Do I smell future reality show in the Nitmos household? You already have a leg up with making it shine in the ratings.

Merry said...

I'm trying to picture Mr. Roper reading Cervantes.

Methinks your fascination for the aforementioned Mr. R. is the antithetical* nature of his choice of exercise. The only running he does is chasing after disinterested women, and the only laces that get laced involve his wife's corsetry.

*Oh come on. That's worth two points, surely?

Ovens2Betsy said...

First of all, how many points do I get for pointing out a typo? (It's "tome," not "tomb," although given the context, perhaps you did mean the latter). As for reading suggestions, how about The Fountainhead (Rand) or Remembrance of Things Past (Proust)?

Viper said...

Odd, I always hear a laugh track every time I trip behind my couch. Nothing a few beers down at the Regal Beagle won't cure.

Lily on the Road said...

War and Peace (Tolstoy), gosh that's a version of my life...and you might want to read that while I'm running the marathon on Sunday, pull out the lounger and light up a good Cuban, it's going to take me that long!! LMAO...

Thanks for the well wishes and the shout means a lot to me...really!!

L*I*S*A said...

Um, can you please add to my name appearing at the bottom with the other Bayshore runners? I'd like mine to say (Going for the finish line).


Marcy said...

I think you need to read "How To Make Love Like A Porn Star" by Jenna Jameson. What? It's not a classic?

RazZDoodle said...

I compared/contrasted the management styles of both landlords for my masters thesis.

What do you suppose Mr. Knotts will best be remembered? The one-bullet toting deputy or the closet homophobe Mr. Furley?

Is Knotts even dead?

So. Many. Questions.

L*I*S*A said...

Thank you, kind sir, for the revision.

Now, that's a race goal I can sink my teeth into.

KimsRunning said...

I think you're missing your training runs more than you realize! I too, thought I was happy to be free from marathon training, but now that the next one is booked I'm so much happier!!! I think you should do Space Coast. The weather is perfect here in Nov and it's a flat course. You'd shave like 2 hours off your best PR.....LOL

Brianna said...

You need a lighter read . . . geez!

Great sign choice. :)

Xenia said...

Enough with this depressing crap, read a Janet Austen novel. Not to mention a JA book might score points with Mrs. Nitmos.

RazZDoodle said...

My keen research skills kicked in:

Don Knotts
Date of Birth: 07/21/1924
Date of Death: 02/24/2006
Age at Death: 81

Cause of Death:

*source -

81 years old. Really makes ya think, huh?

Meg said...

Do you and Vanilla have a virtual flirtation going on? That's what it seems like to me. :)

Vanilla said...

I'd love to suggest some books that you could read but I don't read books, I listen to them.

nwgdc said...

thanks for the shout out! by the way, is there any connection between "hari cari" and Harry Carey, of Cubs Fame?

Pokey said...

So I have to ask - do you get points for the run-on sentences, as well as big words? I'm just sayin' ;)

Marci said...

I have read Run Less Run Faster and its a great read. I think its a great idea for the time-pressed runner!

MizFit said...

Ive perfected the RUN LESS part

just FYI

if you need any help.

Fitarella said...

Furley was flamer with a capital F
and Roper was a perv. I'm sure he had hidden cameras all over Janet & Chrissy's room.

sRod said...

Sadly, I'm too young for the Three's Company bit. Did people really dress like that and expect to attract women?

thebets said...

A mental picture of your nubby nipples I did not need Mr. Nitmos....

Jeff said...

Definitely Roper over Furley.

Couldn't watch anything Knotts was in after post-Andy Griffith re-runs. (Not even those gawd aweful Mayberry reunion shows.)

P.O.M. said...

I would take Mr. Roper or Mr. Furly ANYDAY over my creepy landlord. Very random that I JUST blogged about that today too. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Betsy said...

I might have to challenge you to a reading race. I might not be able to qualify for Boston, but I bet I could finish Don Quixote faster than you.

Laura said...

This is a bit late, but I told my mom I wanted her to make a sign for my marathon, and pointed her to your old post for examples. I'll let you know what she comes up with, but I doubt it will be this one as she probably has no idea who Pheidippides is.

Non-Runner Nancy said...

I get WANTING to the read the classics, but if they seriously make you want to take the sword, maybe you should aim a little lower. (not with the sword, hee hee, with the reading choice) :D