Cap'n Crunch?

<~~~~ What a tool.

Seriously, does anyone believe this guy has done one crunch his entire life? Maybe Cap’n Carb or Cap’n Clogged Artery is a bit more appropriate. I’m more of a Crunchberry man myself. It’s healthier because it contains “berries”. Just like Starburst comes in “fruit flavors”.

I hate to put out another post about myself. But, by perceived popular demand, I’m going to.

One of the things that helps us runners, so the experts tell us, is a strong core. For those Puritans that like to avoid four letter words, the “c---“ is the midsection, the abs and hips primarily. But the core is not a dirty word. It’s not even dusty. It helps runners maintain a proper running form and stabilizes the torso and legs to maximize your stride.

I do lots of sit ups and crunches along with my interminable stretchy banding to support my core. In fact, many a TV show is watched with me folding back and forth on my living room floor. My dog thinks it is play time and helpfully places her knotted rope on my chest while I crunch away. Every throw buys me about 6 more crunches before it comes back. And if I don’t throw it right away, she starts biting at it again perilously close to my nipple.

I like to think that this core work has had some effect. I rarely feel sloppy with my running form anymore. As I tire, I can still maintain posture. It doesn’t cost me valuable seconds. Or, what I call “sloppy seconds”. So I’m a big believer in core strengthening exercises.

What I am not, however, is a patient exerciser. The “long, slow distance run” many runners favor is not something I’m familiar with. I train at faster speeds mainly because I’m inpatient by nature. The same thing happens when I crunch. I crunch every night except Friday where I crunch a few beers instead (rim shot, please?) Of course, I don’t do just 50 good, solid, slow crunches. You know, the kind the “experts” recommend. Nooooo. I do a few hundred hyper fast crunches that, most likely, have very little effect due to improper technique. But the big number sounds good. One thing I’ve always known, it’s not about how you use the crunch but how big it is (amount, that is.)

Does anyone else work on their core? Does it help? And do you prefer Cap’n Crunch or Crunchberries?

I’m assuming our mustachioed Cap’n Crunch must have been promoted from Sargent Sit Up at some point in his career. But, while I live and breathe, with that portly figure he’ll never become Admiral Ab.

Happy trails.