Detroit Autopsy/Dueling Metaphors

I spend a lot of my idle time (re: work) drawing comparisons to completely unrelated things or events. I enjoy trying to connect a hamster to Charles Manson and how they both might fare at mile 20 of a marathon. Looking back, I might have thrown a few too many metaphors in what with the whitehead, the Applebee’s stallion celebration, and the revolutionary war strategy War of Posts when ramping up to the Detroit Marathon. I forgot who my target audience here is. You like brightly colored lights and balloon animals. My bad.

So, with Stridex pad covering my pore divot, let’s press on to the wrap up headlines for this marathon experience. I’ve made each headline a different color to try to hold your attention.

The Funny

There was a L.A.R.P. convention going on at the hotel we stayed at the night before the race. What is L.A.R.P? Live Action Role Playing organization. Said another way: Dorks from their parents’ basement dressing up like their favorite avatar which usually involved some sort of deathly face paint and/or black trench coat and swords. They gathered to pretend they actually are the people they pretend to be online. If I did that, I’d show up being a cynical, sarcastic a-hole….er, never mind. While it sure was amusing to see the costumes and “characters” throughout the hotel, I did feel a bit sad for them as well. The kind of sadness you feel for Martin Lawrence. You know he’s trying but he’s just not funny.

The Best Gift Never Used

The evening before the marathon, the fam and I enjoyed a pasta dinner with fellow Steers Mike and Tange and GLRG Lisa. (Mike and Lisa ran. Stop by and congratulate them. Tange had some lame excuse for not running...can't remember what it was.) Tange brought us a gift. A wonderful, useful gift. Eloquently wrapped in newspaper, he presented us with an empty wide mouth Powerade bottle and black garbage bag. Why? So, of course, we could cover ourselves with the garbage bag and urinate into the PissBottle™ wherever we might be standing to avoid the port-a-potty line. What a great idea. And considering my need to urinate like a race horse pre-race, it would have come in handy had I remembered to grab it on the way out of the car that morning. See, I shouldn’t have looked the gift race horse in the mouth.

The Race Review

Thumbs up on the Detroit Marathon. The only negative was the city, which is an administrative mess, didn’t seem to go out of the way to support it through signage, traffic control, or advertisement compared to Chicago, Boston and other races. The course itself was very entertaining. The Ambassador Bridge crossing goes into my top marathon memories of all time. The 3 mile jaunt around Belle Isle is right up there as well. I recommend!

The Nitmos Review

I’m pretty pleased with how I ran this race. Sure, no PR is a bit disappointing but I can’t say I really went for it either. Here’s the deal: I was on a 3 marathon crampfestpalooza string that needed to be broken. Coming off of Belle Isle near the 20 mile marker, I was getting the familiar grabbing in my lower legs that usually precedes a complete knotting of my calves. At this point, I transitioned from an offensive, aggressive running of the race to a defensive Don’t Let this Happen Again posture. I stayed focused on positive thoughts, refused to stop running even when a massive twinge would grab on a couple of occasions, and maintained a nice steady albeit slower pace. I could have gone faster and finished below 3:10. Had I tried that though, I might easily have destroyed the race entirely by melting down (or knotting up, whatever your preferred visualization). No, I needed to finish this one on the run.

Despite missing the PR by 11 seconds, I feel reinvigorated for marathoning. Outside of the persistent baby cow rebellion, I felt GREAT during this race. One of those…'I can ran all day feelings' that come around once every now and then.

Why Not A Complete Cramp Out?

Some ideas:

This race was 20-40 degrees cooler than my last three.
I back loaded my Gu intake rather than going every scheduled 5 miles (thanks for the tip, Tange!)
I popped several salt tabs starting at the half point through 20 miles.
When the cramps threatened, I focused on Napoleon the Unwitting Pacer’s back, stayed positive, breathed easier, relaxed the legs, and REFUSED TO STOP.

Future Plans

With BQ for 2009 AND 2010 firmly in place, when shall I re-engage the Beardsley Monster? Unless all of you want to take up a collection and do your own Nitmos Bailout plan, I’m not sure 2009 is in store. I may be looking at 2010 which gives me awhile to plan my assault on Heartbreak Hill, part II. All of you that desired a photo opportunity with me will need to qualify again for 2010. Sorry. Don’t worry, it’s worth it. I take a good photo.

Photos You Say?

Disheveled but pleased

Being squatty with the kids

Spooning! (Or assaulting?) Her eyes say Help but it was inevitable.

The whitehead is popped, the stallion ridden, the battle at each posts successfully fought. Now, it may be time to pork the pig.

Happy trails.

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Besides the folks mentioned above, don't forget to congratulate Sarah for a terrific debut marathon performance in Detroit as well!