Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Detroit Autopsy/Dueling Metaphors

I spend a lot of my idle time (re: work) drawing comparisons to completely unrelated things or events. I enjoy trying to connect a hamster to Charles Manson and how they both might fare at mile 20 of a marathon. Looking back, I might have thrown a few too many metaphors in what with the whitehead, the Applebee’s stallion celebration, and the revolutionary war strategy War of Posts when ramping up to the Detroit Marathon. I forgot who my target audience here is. You like brightly colored lights and balloon animals. My bad.

So, with Stridex pad covering my pore divot, let’s press on to the wrap up headlines for this marathon experience. I’ve made each headline a different color to try to hold your attention.

The Funny

There was a L.A.R.P. convention going on at the hotel we stayed at the night before the race. What is L.A.R.P? Live Action Role Playing organization. Said another way: Dorks from their parents’ basement dressing up like their favorite avatar which usually involved some sort of deathly face paint and/or black trench coat and swords. They gathered to pretend they actually are the people they pretend to be online. If I did that, I’d show up being a cynical, sarcastic a-hole….er, never mind. While it sure was amusing to see the costumes and “characters” throughout the hotel, I did feel a bit sad for them as well. The kind of sadness you feel for Martin Lawrence. You know he’s trying but he’s just not funny.

The Best Gift Never Used

The evening before the marathon, the fam and I enjoyed a pasta dinner with fellow Steers Mike and Tange and GLRG Lisa. (Mike and Lisa ran. Stop by and congratulate them. Tange had some lame excuse for not running...can't remember what it was.) Tange brought us a gift. A wonderful, useful gift. Eloquently wrapped in newspaper, he presented us with an empty wide mouth Powerade bottle and black garbage bag. Why? So, of course, we could cover ourselves with the garbage bag and urinate into the PissBottle™ wherever we might be standing to avoid the port-a-potty line. What a great idea. And considering my need to urinate like a race horse pre-race, it would have come in handy had I remembered to grab it on the way out of the car that morning. See, I shouldn’t have looked the gift race horse in the mouth.

The Race Review

Thumbs up on the Detroit Marathon. The only negative was the city, which is an administrative mess, didn’t seem to go out of the way to support it through signage, traffic control, or advertisement compared to Chicago, Boston and other races. The course itself was very entertaining. The Ambassador Bridge crossing goes into my top marathon memories of all time. The 3 mile jaunt around Belle Isle is right up there as well. I recommend!

The Nitmos Review

I’m pretty pleased with how I ran this race. Sure, no PR is a bit disappointing but I can’t say I really went for it either. Here’s the deal: I was on a 3 marathon crampfestpalooza string that needed to be broken. Coming off of Belle Isle near the 20 mile marker, I was getting the familiar grabbing in my lower legs that usually precedes a complete knotting of my calves. At this point, I transitioned from an offensive, aggressive running of the race to a defensive Don’t Let this Happen Again posture. I stayed focused on positive thoughts, refused to stop running even when a massive twinge would grab on a couple of occasions, and maintained a nice steady albeit slower pace. I could have gone faster and finished below 3:10. Had I tried that though, I might easily have destroyed the race entirely by melting down (or knotting up, whatever your preferred visualization). No, I needed to finish this one on the run.

Despite missing the PR by 11 seconds, I feel reinvigorated for marathoning. Outside of the persistent baby cow rebellion, I felt GREAT during this race. One of those…'I can ran all day feelings' that come around once every now and then.

Why Not A Complete Cramp Out?

Some ideas:

This race was 20-40 degrees cooler than my last three.
I back loaded my Gu intake rather than going every scheduled 5 miles (thanks for the tip, Tange!)
I popped several salt tabs starting at the half point through 20 miles.
When the cramps threatened, I focused on Napoleon the Unwitting Pacer’s back, stayed positive, breathed easier, relaxed the legs, and REFUSED TO STOP.

Future Plans

With BQ for 2009 AND 2010 firmly in place, when shall I re-engage the Beardsley Monster? Unless all of you want to take up a collection and do your own Nitmos Bailout plan, I’m not sure 2009 is in store. I may be looking at 2010 which gives me awhile to plan my assault on Heartbreak Hill, part II. All of you that desired a photo opportunity with me will need to qualify again for 2010. Sorry. Don’t worry, it’s worth it. I take a good photo.

Photos You Say?

Disheveled but pleased



Being squatty with the kids




Spooning! (Or assaulting?) Her eyes say Help but it was inevitable.



The whitehead is popped, the stallion ridden, the battle at each posts successfully fought. Now, it may be time to pork the pig.

Happy trails.

________________________________

Besides the folks mentioned above, don't forget to congratulate Sarah for a terrific debut marathon performance in Detroit as well!

37 comments:

Turi said...

Crampfestpalooza. Hurts just to read that.

I've always wanted to be handed one of those nice shiny blankets at the end of a race. How fast do you have to run to get one of those?

Xenia said...

Poor Mrs Nitmos.

Thanks for the colored fonts. Kept me reading the post even when I wanted to stop. Numerous times. ;)

Marcy said...

ROFLMAO HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA Poor Poor Poor Mrs Nitmos. I'm sure she has payback for you in store. Keep one eye open when you sleep is all I'm sayin . . .

Vanilla said...

Congrats again. The Gatorade bottle and trash bag is a great idea, one that I might even employ the next time I go watch a movie. I hate missing things.

Chad in the Arizona Desert said...

Ooh, pretty colors!

I think the nutrition decisions to fend of the 'c'-word were all good ideas, especially the salt tablets. It sounds like you are dialing in the solution.

Recover well, and stop spooning the Mrs. (And by stop, I mean do it more often). Now get back to not working.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

Finally! Color!

Before this I had to keep myself entertained by composing the following incantatory chant:

Nitmos!
Meet the Nitmos!
He's a runner straight from Mish-ih-ghan!

His name
Rhymes with Zitmos
If you saw his nose you'd understand!

Willlllmaaaa!!

Oooo! Oooo! Out the window! A squirrel with a puffy tail! Gotta go!

Roisin said...

ahahaha...Mrs. Nitmos looks so very pleased!

Congrats again!!!

Jess said...

Hahah poor Mrs. Nitmos!!!

Otherwise great pictures!

Lily on the Road said...

What, no identifying Red Shirt???

Thanks for the pictures with the filly & colt...and oh, Mrs. Nitmos, you are an Angel...

BTW, thanks for the Halloween costume idea...empty wide mouth Powerade bottle and black garbage bag!!!

KimsRunning said...

I love your race posts. Awesome. I'll be meeting Mr Beardsley on Nov 29th. I can give him a message for ya! And hey...maybe I'll see you in Boston 2010!!!!!!!

Sarah said...

If *I* had seen Brian Sell on the Belle Isle bridge, maybe that would have propelled me to a faster pace. I saw those dudes with the red jackets, I guess I didn't look closely enough.

The trip over the Ambassador Bridge is my favorite part of the race, too. I love how the runners were all silhouetted against the rising sun. So pretty...

Thanks for the shout-out, too. :)

Marlene said...

Congrats again on a race well-run! Love the commentary.

I have no dreams of qualifying before retirement, but I'll be in Boston for '10 to support a friend...would it be wrong to PRETEND I'm running?!

tfh said...

Awww, sweet pics of you with the family. You look almost human. Clearly, they bring out the best in you and the blog community brings out the worst. No matter. As for the collection for Boston 2009, I'm a little cash-strapped right now but am willing to contribute every gel sample I've ever received in a race packet to your training if it will help.

Two Left Feet said...

I like the pretty colors...

Blyfinn said...

Mrs. Nitmos should be proud tha tyou have such a good post race tradition. I think it just might catch on and be a mass spooning movement.

Kristina said...

I can't believe you're waiting on Boston until 2010 b/c that's when I'm planning to run it. I'm touched that you'd wait to get your photo opportunity with me. I was hoping to take Mrs. N for a mani/pedi while you slog through it this year, though. Darn it.

seejessrun said...

Oh please, you know you were at the LARP convention and just signed up to do a marathon "while in town."
Thanks for the kind words on my blog. I hope to someday run a marathon as fast as you, but I don't think it will be this first one.

joyRuN said...

Congrats again!

Seeing that pic - again I say - poor Mrs. Nitmos.

You guys are lucky you can use the emtpy Gatorade. What are the poor chicks supposed to do?

Ms. V. said...

Your family is aDORable! How could you mistake Mrs. Nitmos as LIKING that spooning thing? I think she's trying to break free!

LOVE the Gatorade idea, and want to hear more about backloading Gu. That day, or that week?

Big said...

The Flying Pig...nice. I wonder how them there hills will treat your baby cows? Congrats again on a great race.

chia said...

Too bad I'm allergic to latex.

Great job, as always :-)! Your brilliance astounds me (well, nevermind the fact that you could have ran 2 whole marathons in the time it took me to finish the one last weekend ;-)).

Vava said...

Nice! Thanks for the pics.

Frayed Laces said...

I have two videos for you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_ekugPKqFw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oWAb5NVALw

Pokey said...

Awesome, awesome race report!! LOVE IT!!!!

I've been to Crampfestapalooza several times, and wish never to go back. So I need some advice....

Forget about the fact that you run nearly TWICE (ugh, did I write that outloud??) as fast as I do, and somehow I still manage to get calf cramps.......how do you manage to run through them? Your verbiage about your leg kicking to the side like a bad Rockette was just all to easy for me to relate to.

So throw me some expertise will ya? I havent been able to run through the cramps yet, so I need a mentor ;)

theloosemoose said...

Wow. Picshures AND kolurz. This may be your finest post ever!

Ovens2Betsy said...

The only reason I BQ'd again at Royal Victoria is that it counts toward 2010 and I KNEW you'd bag on 2009. Don't think you can brush off us stalkers that easy, buster. (Actually the person I REALLY want to meet is Mrs. Nitmos. To be in the presence of a saint would just be AWESOME. I promise I'll leave my LARP outfit at home).

Sbanfnyc said...

I loved the blog. How is the family? Hope all is well. Melissa Sr. (melissa mindsweeper) may have to have surgery again. Rejecting the Titanium. Bummer. Thinking of y'all.

Marci said...

LOL. I don't know if your idea of spooning is more of a tackle. Poor Mrs. Nitmos. What a good sport!! Seriously though congrats again, you have a beautiful family.

*aron* said...

awesome report and AWESOME race!! congrats again :)

SLB said...

Gladto hear the stars were alined and your ducks wer in a row, never mind the PR you got the taste back!

Lisa Slow-n-Steady said...

It looks like you're trying to knock poor Mrs. Nitmos over.

Eric Gervase said...

Glad you didn't cramp out... Ever so close to the PR. Congrats!!

audgepodge said...

Love your colt's sweatshirt... GO BLUE! :)

Run For Life said...

Congrats on showing the "c" word who's boss!

The Laminator said...

Nice pics and report, Nitmos.
Good job not surrendering to the baby cows. Do feel sorry for Mrs. Nitmos though.

sRod said...

Still a race well run.

Laura said...

Cute pictures!!!

I plan to run Boston in 2010, hopefully by qualifying but I may take the cheater's route and do charity if need be. Either way, it's on!