Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Randumbery II

I used to run this semi regular feature called "Randumbness" about, as you would guess, various random and dumb things going on. It was a nice page filler. You thought you were getting actual carefully constructed content. Instead, you were getting fluff, filler, time wasters. I'm not saying this to foreshadow this post. I'm just saying the post title is Randumbery and if you can put 2 and 2 together....well, we'll both be pleasantly surprised at your cognitive skills.

The End of the Great Running Skirt Debate

By now, you’ve seen the article in Runner’s World and you’ve heard the rumblings across blogland about the running skirt that has been seen hanging from the midsection of (mostly) female runners. Unbeknownst to me, there was apparently some issue as to whether wearing a running “skirt” meant you were a serious runner looking for extra comfort and style OR a prissy little show pony trying to turn the sport into a fashion show.

Is it okay that I call an end to this “debate” now?

Look, the important thing is that the hemline is no more than 4 inches for women. Shorts. Skirt. Fig leaf. A Beef Jerky belt with a piece of paper towel folded over it. Whatever.

I’m a big fan of women wearing running skirts. Or running string bikinis. Or running fishnet stockings with running stilettos.* Sheesh, let’s move on already.

I don’t think I’m being sexist. I think I already mentioned my desire to wear my thong, thick gold chain, cowboy hat and spray on tan in a future race. I’m an equal opportunity offender. I feel the more everyone sees of me is probably best for everyone. Likewise, the more I see of the ladies is best for me. See? Equal!

And, on this, I know Mrs. Nitmos agrees (despite the fact that she describes my posterior as “concave”.)

That’s an end to the debate. Here’s an emphatic, brightly colored period to prove it. .!

More Things That Annoy Me

You may have noticed an upswing lately in bugs getting stuck in my crawl. Usually, it’s people who annoy me. Lately, it’s been animals, plants, or things. Inanimate objects have really been pissing me off lately….sittin’ there being all inanimatey with that smarmy look. I don’t like to equivocate here at F.M.S. so I take sides on irrelevant issues. Let’s review. Here’s a list of 7 people, places or things topping my Annoy-o-meter these days:

1) Dolphins vs. Whales? I picked whales a long time ago and have been enjoying tuna ever since.

2) Oak vs. Elm? If you saw my last post, you know I’m an Elmhead. As NWGDC pointed out, the ash bore is just a temporary set back. Elm will prevail in the end.

3) The Constitution vs. The Declaration of Independence? Give me the D.o.I. baby. Holla!

4) Peter, Paul or Mary? They count as inanimate. Paul rocks out a sweet beard. How can you deny it?

5) Sofa vs. Couch? Sofa! Who wants to sit on something called a “couch”? A couch should be redefined as a cut you receive that really hurts. A cut-ouch or “couch”.

6) List makers vs. Non-list makers. I’m a list maker and, thus, far superior to you non-Listy’s. Though I can’t stand the Listy’s that don’t bother to finish their lists. Jerks.

I could go on and on. The point is that dolphins, oak, The Constitution**, Peter, Mary, the couch, and non-Listy’s can all fall into a deep well for all I care.

If there’s anything that pisses you off, I’d like to hear it because I’m looking for new things to take issue with.

I’m going to lie down now. That was a real strain.

I should say I’m sorry for this post but I’m pretty sure you don’t deserve that.

Happy trails.

* Also called the Running Hooker ensemble available at most runner speciality shops nationwide.
** Does this make me unpatriotic? I do wear a flag lapel pin though.

A couple quick 800's last night. Still deciding whether or not to jump into another 5k this weekend.

Total effort:

5.0 miles
32:28 time
6:30 mile/pace

3x800: 2:38, 2:43, 2:43.


Kristina said...

Mac vs. PC?
Arabic vs. Roman?
Gas vs. electric?
Harvard vs. Yale?
These are matters that could start a brawl.
For the record:
Harvard Crimson in da house! (goes without saying)

Tall Girl Running said...

WHAT??!! I'm serving as eye candy for men when I run in my heavenly comfortable running skirts?? Well, that just gives me all the more incentive to chick every single guy I race against from now on. Get all the eyefuls you want, suckahs.

KimsRunning said...

I'm so against lists myself. If I need a list to remember to do something, chances are I don't really want to do any of them anyway. So I don't.

I love the running skirts but I skip the fishnet stockings. They don't fit inside my Vibrams.

nwgdc said...

didn't you wear a skirt at the chicago marathon last year? i think i remember seeing a picture of you cramping down the final stretch in a nice little black number... :)

Marcy said...

OMFG HAHAHAHHAHAA "A Beef Jerky belt with a piece of paper towel folded over it." I know what my next running outfit will be now, thanks :P

Yeah, I saw that article and was surprised there was even a debate. Whateva, I dig them. Except when it's windy and I know the back part is flapping up . . .but then again. if anyone is pervy enough to look at a bowl of of fat flopping around, eh what do I care.

Sarah said...

Sofa! Who wants to sit on something called a “couch”?

I can't believe you left out "davenport." Who the hell wants to sit on a "davenport"? My 90-year-old grandma from Cleveland, apparently.

Oh, and the question to end all questions in this neck of the woods:

UM or MSU?

I think you should take your thong and gold chain and enter the San Francisco Bay to Breakers race. You'd be the center of...some gender's attention.

Vanilla said...

You know what really annoys me? There's this blind guy that comes into the office every once and a while and of course he uses one of those white canes that he swipes back and forth to clear his path and it TOTALLY scratches up the hardwood floors in our office. SO annoying!

Viper said...

The issues that matter: Beer with fruit really sticks in my craw. People who think "any Glen will do" because they heard it in Swingers. People who want to be friends. Pie vs. cake (pie).

MizFit said...

you make me laugh.

how is that for a SAD comment after such a great post.


but Ive got nothing else.



tfh said...

But is it patriotic to wear your flag pin on your thong?

Xenia said...

I'm a list person too.

My issues:
-raisins in carrot cake (leave em out!)
-people (just generally)
-exchange rates that are kicking my US dollar-paying ass
-increasing airline prices with associated decrease in services/luggage allowances

There's more, but that's all my fragile little brain can produce at the moment.

aham23 said...

5k. jump into it and freaking trip someone like you know you want to. later.

Jenn said...

A list-maker I am:

1. I love my running skirt. It is cute, and I feel fast in it. Also, if I want to play tennis after a run, it'll hold my balls. Wow, that didn't come out right.

2. How does the loveseat fit into the couch vs. sofa debate? I have a big brown pleather one that I fondly refer to as "big brown pleather." Catchy, I know.

3. I hate people who refuse to turn off their Michael Jackson ring tone at work. "Don't Stop Till You Get Enough" was cute the first 20 times, but now it can stop because, well, I've had enough.

Ms. V. said...

I got a skirt. Just a lot of fabric all over my legs. No good for me.

Things that bug me:

1) People that don't know how to use the words *good* or *well*. "You did very good on that exam" gets me.
2) Ending sentences with the word *At*. "Where are you at?" Leave off the at, and you have a perfect sentence.
3) Diet Coke vs. Diet Cherry Coke
4) Students who've never heard of Steven Tyler, Bruce Springsteen or Boston, except by way of cool T-shirts.

Geez, this comment is (somewhat) longer than my own posts.

You asked.

KC Stine said...

Great stuff

What about Ginger vs Mary-Anne?

One thing that bothers me
* Mommies who pick up their kids every day from school in their Hummer and only live a few blocks away

What's wrong with a sentence where there's a preposition that it's ended with? (just a little fun for ms. v.)

Ms. V. said...

kc. You kill me.

I have a shirt that says, "Bad Grammar makes me [sic]"

[shouts] No ending sentences with prepositions!! Where's it at? Behind the at!

(Just gearing up for my new crop of High School English students)

jen said...

I tried to love running skirts but they just aren't as comfortable as shorts in my opinion. I do wear mine occasionally on short runs since I spent the $30 or whatever. And it is cute.

I am a big listy, but dare I say indifferent on the other topics. Whales are cool I guess.

Em said...

lol to Mrs V!

1. I HATE erroneous apostrophes, they make me mad. How many restaurants have menu's? The menu's what, exactly?

2. In my part of the world, people often say they've 'hidden it up'... grrrr... why up? Why didn't they just 'hide' it like everyone else in the world? Could they have hidden it 'down'?

3. Actually, people in general annoy me, especially when I'm out running and they take up the whole pathway, oblivious to the fact that they are not the only people in the world. Unless everyone else has hidden up.

Mandapants said...

Never tried the skirt. If it makes you happy, wear it. If it doesn't, don't. I'm certainly not offended by them.

I AM peeved by...
-some chunky kids who speed-walked to try to keep up with/make fun of me while I did my long run last week
-apostrophe abuse (I'm with em...its, it's, they're, their, etc. -- is it that hard?)
-bikers who don't announce themselves. If the lane is narrow and I'm blocking you/don't hear you approaching, say something! Don't wait ten minutes for me to *turn around* to see you. Idiots.

Clearly an angry day for the Mandapants.

Steve Stenzel said...

List-makers unite!!

Ms. V. said...

Wait, I came back. I'm addicted to this post, and it gives me a somewhat anonymous place to vent.

I do hate bluetooth wearers (blueteeth?). Not when they are in the car, when they're in church, a restaurant. Their ear is blinking blue. It pisses me off to no end, and they look like asses.

Also, cell phones while I'm with you at dinner, or elsewhere. "Hey, everyone you want to talk to is RIGHT HERE!"

Okay, I'm done now.

Marathon Me said...

Huge fan of the running skirt. They are cute, as are most of the girls wearing them.

Also have to agree with Ms. V. I hate bluetooth wearers. They look like vagrants talking to themselves.

Bud light should do a real men of genius commercial for the "Mr. Running Skirt Inventor". Or the Ms. Running Skirt Inventor as the case me be.


Scott said...

Ha ha ha....

SJ Goody said...

Supper vs. Dinner???

Viv said...

I am a lister in this day and age there is nothin like putting pencil to paper with a good ol fashioned list. Crossing things off makes me feel special.

The hooker runner ensable, have I found my Halloween costume so early in the season already?!

texting or calling when is it appropiate to pick up the phone and say what u gotta say

Anonymous said...

I'm with you on this whole skirt thing. People are WAY overanalyzing it... as a woman, I just want to be comfortable while I run a marathon. If I put on a skirt, it's for that reason and not to "appear" in any certain way.