I used to run this semi regular feature called "Randumbness" about, as you would guess, various random and dumb things going on. It was a nice page filler. You thought you were getting actual carefully constructed content. Instead, you were getting fluff, filler, time wasters. I'm not saying this to foreshadow this post. I'm just saying the post title is Randumbery and if you can put 2 and 2 together....well, we'll both be pleasantly surprised at your cognitive skills.
The End of the Great Running Skirt Debate
By now, you’ve seen the article in Runner’s World and you’ve heard the rumblings across blogland about the running skirt that has been seen hanging from the midsection of (mostly) female runners. Unbeknownst to me, there was apparently some issue as to whether wearing a running “skirt” meant you were a serious runner looking for extra comfort and style OR a prissy little show pony trying to turn the sport into a fashion show.
Is it okay that I call an end to this “debate” now?
Look, the important thing is that the hemline is no more than 4 inches for women. Shorts. Skirt. Fig leaf. A Beef Jerky belt with a piece of paper towel folded over it. Whatever.
I’m a big fan of women wearing running skirts. Or running string bikinis. Or running fishnet stockings with running stilettos.* Sheesh, let’s move on already.
I don’t think I’m being sexist. I think I already mentioned my desire to wear my thong, thick gold chain, cowboy hat and spray on tan in a future race. I’m an equal opportunity offender. I feel the more everyone sees of me is probably best for everyone. Likewise, the more I see of the ladies is best for me. See? Equal!
And, on this, I know Mrs. Nitmos agrees (despite the fact that she describes my posterior as “concave”.)
That’s an end to the debate. Here’s an emphatic, brightly colored period to prove it. .!
More Things That Annoy Me
You may have noticed an upswing lately in bugs getting stuck in my crawl. Usually, it’s people who annoy me. Lately, it’s been animals, plants, or things. Inanimate objects have really been pissing me off lately….sittin’ there being all inanimatey with that smarmy look. I don’t like to equivocate here at F.M.S. so I take sides on irrelevant issues. Let’s review. Here’s a list of 7 people, places or things topping my Annoy-o-meter these days:
1) Dolphins vs. Whales? I picked whales a long time ago and have been enjoying tuna ever since.
2) Oak vs. Elm? If you saw my last post, you know I’m an Elmhead. As NWGDC pointed out, the ash bore is just a temporary set back. Elm will prevail in the end.
3) The Constitution vs. The Declaration of Independence? Give me the D.o.I. baby. Holla!
4) Peter, Paul or Mary? They count as inanimate. Paul rocks out a sweet beard. How can you deny it?
5) Sofa vs. Couch? Sofa! Who wants to sit on something called a “couch”? A couch should be redefined as a cut you receive that really hurts. A cut-ouch or “couch”.
6) List makers vs. Non-list makers. I’m a list maker and, thus, far superior to you non-Listy’s. Though I can’t stand the Listy’s that don’t bother to finish their lists. Jerks.
I could go on and on. The point is that dolphins, oak, The Constitution**, Peter, Mary, the couch, and non-Listy’s can all fall into a deep well for all I care.
If there’s anything that pisses you off, I’d like to hear it because I’m looking for new things to take issue with.
I’m going to lie down now. That was a real strain.
I should say I’m sorry for this post but I’m pretty sure you don’t deserve that.
* Also called the Running Hooker ensemble available at most runner speciality shops nationwide.
** Does this make me unpatriotic? I do wear a flag lapel pin though.
A couple quick 800's last night. Still deciding whether or not to jump into another 5k this weekend.
3x800: 2:38, 2:43, 2:43.