Monday, April 07, 2008

Fear the Spatula

Note: I will not be spoiling the plot of this film in the following review. Unless you don't like to know a mannequin will be molested prior to watching a movie. In which case, well, I guess I just blew it for you.

I’m not going to take credit for spreading the word of Run, Fatboy, Run to the running community in a previous post. After all, it’s a major film production with a large marketing budget. So let’s just say I probably single-handedly spread the word and leave it at that.

My wife and I took in Run, Fatboy, Run yesterday sans kids. God bless, Mrs. Nitmos. Not only did she tolerate my 14 miler on Sunday (when there was plenty of work to do at home), she then survived a trip to TWO bicycle shops and then sat through a movie heavily involved with marathoning. I expected to fall asleep last night and awake to the repeated thuds of my Asics GT2120’s whacking across my forehead. It didn’t happen (though I noticed my water jug had floaties in it this morning. I don’t remember there being floaties before. I’ll go in for a closer inspection tonight.)

What follows is my two minute review.

The flick is not necessarily a “running movie”. That is just the background for the fairly generic love story surrounding the oafish male lead and his pencilly (+5 for word invention) thin female lead. The movie is no more a running movie than Indiana Jones is an archaeology movie.

That being said, I had some concerns going in:

1) Would the scenes involving the marathon seem realistic?
2) Would I get a couple hilarious gross out jokes to blog about?
3) Would something connected with David (Ben Affleck of the Small Screen) Schwimmer be any good?

Answers:

1) Yes. The marathon scenes were realistic (except for the part where our oafish marathoner takes a lead ahead of the elite runners for a brief period. I don’t care how fast he was sprinting, he ain’t gonna pass 5 minute milers.)
2) Yes. The film featured the “Scrotal Zone”, mannequin molestation, flying blister pus, and nipple lube. Check. Check. Check. And check. No snot rockets though? (fist raised in anger) Schhhhwiiiiiimmer!!
3) Yes, sorta. The final analysis to follow. I left the theatre feeling slightly light headed and confused though. A feeling I describe as "being Schwimmered" (zing!!).

The main thing I took from it is that a spatula is the best training aid. It doesn’t appear in any of the so called “professional” manuals. However, the film makes pretty clear that a spatula applied swiftly to the back of the legs works extremely well in motivation, endurance, and speed. Fear the spatula. I would have thought, of all kitchen utensils, that a turkey baster would find the most uses in running. Shows what I know.

So, how to score this film? If I use the standard Ebertian scale, I’d give it a Thumbs Up. If I use the more common 4 star scale it becomes more difficult but I’d say its either a 2 ½ or 3. Which one? A fellow runner like myself might lean towards a 3 while a non runner (see Mrs. Nitmos) might opt for the 2 ½. Hmmm, much debate. That pus filled blister spraying over the poor schmuck’s face was pretty funny. And the physical representation of the runner’s wall was pretty neat. But the overall plot was fairly average. Hmmm, well, I’m not going to waffle. I know my readers stop by for expert analysis and definitive answers and the complete lack of a criss cross pattern to my face (no? no? reread the previous sentence). I refuse to be indecisive. So, probably, definitively, I’ll give it 2 ¾ stars.

The fact that I got free tickets in made it a lot more palatable (+2) I suspect. I’d sit through another Sister Act sequel for free tickets.

Happy trails.
________________________________________________________

Sunday was my last double digit mileage run before Boston! I don't mind saying, it was great! Shorts. No gloves. I wouldn't say I was blurry but I was certainly a bit frayed around the edges to the casual observer as I passed by.

14.0 miles
1:39:37 time
7:07 pace

Last mile checked in at 6:53. Bring on the 'thon.

TWO WEEKS TO BOSTON!!

16 comments:

Danielle in Iowa said...

When he passed the elite runners, all I could think was "dude that could totally never happen" but other than that I was satisfied with the verisimilitude of the marathon experience (can I get points on your blog for "verisimilitude"?)

Topher said...

My, what an big "vernacular" you have. We took the kids to see Horton Hears a Who on Friday night. RunFatboyRun was playing in the next theater over. I thought about faking a case of runner's trot and excusing myself so I could slip away from Dr. Suess under the guise of needing to go to the bathroom for an extended period of time to go see a running movie, but Mrs. Donut was wise to my plan.

Marcy said...

Dude, another Sister Act if you had free tickets? That's waaayyy too much Whoopi, but then again . . . if it involves getting away from the kids, that in itself is worth it.

Thanks for the review, Ebert :P

Doug said...

Thanks for no spoilers, but definitely one I should go see. Or, as a college student, perhaps rent when it comes out on video!

Amanda said...

Hmm I'd say this one my hub may have to see on his own, cause I just can't get too enthused about it.

Kristina Pinto said...

at least you run fast. I'm gonna have to get much quicker if my husband is gonna let me keep up the running now that I'm working FT. Damn jobs. Great work on the long run. Things are springy in Boston finally--it's coming...!

Non-Runner Nancy said...

Yes, your vocabulary is coming along nicely. :D

Nice running. Look out Boston.

Mir said...

Haha, thanks for the review. We are too poor for the movie theater these days, but this will definitely go on the Netflix queue.

KimsRunning said...

I want to see that movie, thanks for the review!! I dragged my husband to Spirit Of The Marathon last January and the beast FELL ASLEEP! He even snored....LOL...he's into cycling, which is way too boring for me. He talked me into a ride last week so we're even...

Good luck in Boston, that's my home! I live in Florida now. That's why I call the "fartlek" a "fahlek" (silent T)....lol

I'm very much enjoying your blog! And not just for the sexy Hello Kitty bandaid picture!

RazZDoodle said...

Yeah. You got learned good somewhere.

Anonymous said...

Did the fatboy wear "hello kitty" bandages on his nipples during the race?

Rest up for the marathon and keep your pace over 7-7:15 per mile, most of the time.

Steers!

Viper said...

No snot rockets? No dice. David Schwimmer just lost all credibility.

P.O.M. said...

Ha - you totally had me cracking up with this review. How can any running related scenario NOT involve snot rockets? I mean really! Even I (self proclaimed girly-girl) blow snot rockets every morning in public!

MissAllycat said...

It was the huge blister that got me good. Gross, but funny. :)

Sarah said...

Drat! I just wrote MY review about this movie. Yours is definitely more piquant (word score?) than mine. Good think I still have my looks to go on!

L*I*S*A said...

The spatula commentary reminded me of the scene in Stripes with Bill Murray singlehandedly attempting to flip his girlfriend on the grill. :)