Rubbing All Things Irish

(Considered alternate title: Irish Molestation.)

It’s Boston week! Exactly one week from now I’ll be amongst 25,000 or so of my closest friends participating in the 2008 Boston Marathon. It could be a time for deep introspection about what it took to get there. All the toil and sweat involved to realize this goal.

Or, it could be just another excuse to make a few cheap jokes.

For sure, I’ve done the necessary physical training. A bit on the light side but still, I trained nonetheless. During taper, I’ve spent quite a bit on the metaphysical (twice in one week both most likely used incorrectly = ch-ching!) training.

Boston is a city steeped in Irish traditions. The group of folks identified most closely with Boston are Irish immigrants. As such, I’ve made it my own personal quest these past few weeks to come in contact with as much Irish charms and traditions as possible. And, of course, no ridiculous Irish stereotypes were used when compiling this list.

I have:

Worn green clothes on a daily basis. Since I own precisely one green shirt, I stink quite a bit.

Watched a lot of Phoenix Suns basketball to bask in the glow of athletic achievement by the great Irishman Shaquille O’Neal.

Ate Lucky Charms every day for breakfast.

Dinners at Bennigans.

Nightcaps at home with Guinness.

Consumed copious (+5) amounts of corned beef, colcannon and potatoes during snack times.

Tried to work “pissah” into every day conversation.

Watched Boston Legal and The Departed constantly.

Set a leprechaun trap near a fake pot o’ gold I put out in my living room. Ended this when daughter suffered finger lacerations.

And you don’t even want to know what I’ve been doing to shamrocks.

I don’t know. Maybe I’ve been going overboard. Who can tell? You’ve probably seen an upswing on this site lately with goofy names starting with “Mc”. All part of the plan, baby.

I knew things were getting a bit obsessive when I started hanging out at McDonald’s (is that even Irish?) and fantasizing about Rosie O’Donnell (is that even right?).

There’s still a few days to go. I’m making my last minute plans. In the meantime, if you are out in my neighborhood wearing green or sporting a perceptible Irish countenance (not sure what that means), you may find some strange man rubbing up against you. Be forewarned, it’s best to let him(me) finish.

I’m ready for a wicked good time.

Happy trails.

Sincerely,

O’Nitmos McBostonbound
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Check out this article on Jewish runners and the obstacle they face in carbo loading during Passover before the Boston Marathon. Pretty interesting.

Note: Several of you have dropped pretty impressive words into my comments section seeking Word Score credit. I'm sorry that I cannot award them here. I'm quite sure you made them up as they are obviously NOT real words. Verisimilitude? Piquant? Vernacular? Beleaguered? Good try, folks. I'm not falling for it.

Also, some have taken to refereeing my little Word Score game by pointing out perceived mistakes in my posts. I can only say, if I were to take points away for things you do not understand, I would be in the negative and never be able to recover. Lets just assume I'm always correct. Or I'm applying a grammatical rule you are not familiar with.