Monday, April 14, 2008

Rubbing All Things Irish

(Considered alternate title: Irish Molestation.)

It’s Boston week! Exactly one week from now I’ll be amongst 25,000 or so of my closest friends participating in the 2008 Boston Marathon. It could be a time for deep introspection about what it took to get there. All the toil and sweat involved to realize this goal.

Or, it could be just another excuse to make a few cheap jokes.

For sure, I’ve done the necessary physical training. A bit on the light side but still, I trained nonetheless. During taper, I’ve spent quite a bit on the metaphysical (twice in one week both most likely used incorrectly = ch-ching!) training.

Boston is a city steeped in Irish traditions. The group of folks identified most closely with Boston are Irish immigrants. As such, I’ve made it my own personal quest these past few weeks to come in contact with as much Irish charms and traditions as possible. And, of course, no ridiculous Irish stereotypes were used when compiling this list.

I have:

Worn green clothes on a daily basis. Since I own precisely one green shirt, I stink quite a bit.

Watched a lot of Phoenix Suns basketball to bask in the glow of athletic achievement by the great Irishman Shaquille O’Neal.

Ate Lucky Charms every day for breakfast.

Dinners at Bennigans.

Nightcaps at home with Guinness.

Consumed copious (+5) amounts of corned beef, colcannon and potatoes during snack times.

Tried to work “pissah” into every day conversation.

Watched Boston Legal and The Departed constantly.

Set a leprechaun trap near a fake pot o’ gold I put out in my living room. Ended this when daughter suffered finger lacerations.

And you don’t even want to know what I’ve been doing to shamrocks.

I don’t know. Maybe I’ve been going overboard. Who can tell? You’ve probably seen an upswing on this site lately with goofy names starting with “Mc”. All part of the plan, baby.

I knew things were getting a bit obsessive when I started hanging out at McDonald’s (is that even Irish?) and fantasizing about Rosie O’Donnell (is that even right?).

There’s still a few days to go. I’m making my last minute plans. In the meantime, if you are out in my neighborhood wearing green or sporting a perceptible Irish countenance (not sure what that means), you may find some strange man rubbing up against you. Be forewarned, it’s best to let him(me) finish.

I’m ready for a wicked good time.

Happy trails.

Sincerely,

O’Nitmos McBostonbound
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Check out this article on Jewish runners and the obstacle they face in carbo loading during Passover before the Boston Marathon. Pretty interesting.

Note: Several of you have dropped pretty impressive words into my comments section seeking Word Score credit. I'm sorry that I cannot award them here. I'm quite sure you made them up as they are obviously NOT real words. Verisimilitude? Piquant? Vernacular? Beleaguered? Good try, folks. I'm not falling for it.

Also, some have taken to refereeing my little Word Score game by pointing out perceived mistakes in my posts. I can only say, if I were to take points away for things you do not understand, I would be in the negative and never be able to recover. Lets just assume I'm always correct. Or I'm applying a grammatical rule you are not familiar with.

19 comments:

Danielle in Iowa said...

It's "wicked pissah," thank you very much.

aham23 said...

how many matzah balls does the jewish marathoner need to eat in order to properly carbo load? not a joke, but a serious thought. later.

Chad in the Arizona Desert said...

Thanks for stopping by my humble little blog.

Hilarious post! However, if you are fantasizing about Rosie O'Donnell seek therapy immediately.

Best of luck in Boston!

MissAllycat said...

What is white, Irish, and sits on your lawn?

Patty O'Furniture.

Eric Gervase said...

Will you be shaving your head like Sinead O'Connor? That is lucky and streamlined. I'm not sure you have a choice.

Marcy said...

ROFLMAO! This post was hilarious!

Dude you can totally borrow my last name this week. Don't you want to be Nitmos McG? It will probably look better on you anyway, do I look Irish to you? :P

Vanilla said...

Be sure to tell everyone you meet in Boston that you've "pahked yer cah in Havahd yahd." They LOVE that. Also, be sure to call it Beantown a lot.

Vanilla said...

Oh, and good luck with that little race you're running too.

Non-Runner Nancy said...

Perfect example of taper madness at it's finest. Rose O'Donnell? egads.

Luck O the Irish to ye, Lad.

KimsRunning said...

You're giving me a wicked pang for home! Stop at Triple O's in Southie and ask if they've seen Whitey lately....LOL

I'd stay off the Cape though, Teddy may be lurking near the Chappy!!!!

Have a great run and a fabulous time in Beantown. Enjoy the sights, food and wicked rude people! Also....they drive like freakin' maniacs there so be careful!!!!

PS. Tell Vanilla we don't even talk like that....haha!

KC Stine said...

Good luck in Boston.

I love your scoring system for vocab, but 5 pts for copius is excessive, I would however, give the same pts for colcannon since I have no idea what that is!

thebets said...

Best o' luck to ya Shamus! Can't wait to ready about your experience.

REALLY?! You couldn't come up with a better Irish female to fantasize about besides Rosie?! ew.....

Laura said...

Let me know around what pace you expect to run and what you'll be wearing... I will be cheering and will do my best to yell some 4 and 5 point words of encouragement.

L*I*S*A said...

Most excellent..Erin Go Braugh (or something like that. Tear it up, McNitmos!

Viper said...

Good luck in Boston. While you're there, do you mind giving Manny Ramirez a punch in the face? Thanks.

Kristina Pinto said...

With all of the Indian restaurants in Boston now, you might want to add a few samosas to your plan. Safe travels and good luck! When you finish, hop the T back to Woodland and run me in, will you?

*aron* said...

thanks for commenting on my blog!!!

GOOD LUCK in boston!!!

sRod said...

Boston has enough of it's own quirks--no need to focus on just the Irish ones. I mean the place has a friggin Golden Cod hanging over the state House of Representatives.

I say you won't really know Boston until you know what happens if you pahk yer cahr in Hahvahd Yahd. (Yes, there is a reply.)

If there is no other pre-race post--Good luck!! Weather looks awesome (unlike last year's debacle).

Lily on the Road said...

Síocháin agus beir beannacht - Peace and all good.

Good Luck in Boston!!!

Is Boston ready for you??? LOL...