Friday, May 18, 2012

What I Learned During My Limbo Run

I don’t learn lessons real well.  I tend to be pig headed and try to bend reality to match my pre-determined world view.  It’s not a unique concept.  There’s an entire cable news network devoted to this.  It’s also why I’ve watched Toy Story 3 exactly 138 times (and counting) because, dammit, there is NO WAY Andy goes to college and gives away the toys.  (Note: Preceding sentence contains a spoiler alert.)  If I watch it again, he might change his mind.  It’s also why I drink so much beer.  I mean, in my mind, beer shouldn’t taste that delicious.  It’s not right.  So I keep opening another to see if this is the one that’ll taste horrible.  The search continues…

So I was pleasantly surprised to learn a new lesson on my limbo run on Thursday.  I thought I knew everything about limbo runs seeing as I invented the term.  To refresh, Tuesdays are my track intervals day and Thursday is a tempo run or limbo run, whatever the mood strikes as I lace ‘em up.  Long time F.M.S. readers know that a limbo run, known as a “progressive run” by the running glitterati, involves me running each mile progressively faster after starting with a comfortable warm-up mile.  Limbo run is a much more descriptive term than progressive run and I expect it to catch on like wildfire – eventually – in the running community.  Just remember where you heard it first.

A smart limbo runner gently accelerates through each mile.  You may drop 4-8 seconds per mile.  Heck, even one second gets you under the line for a successful limbo.  It would be nipple tickling but….it works!  If you go too low, too early, well, it just makes it harder for the subsequent miles.  Be a smart limboer.

As the original limboer, I’ve had some close calls but always managed to judge my pace enough to beat the previous mile.  But, yesterday, I almost knocked the bar over.

The plan was a 7 miles.  After a relaxed warm-up, I started my gentle downward sloping limbo:

7:14 –warm-up

So far, so good.   Miles 2-4 only saw an overall decrease of 5  seconds and, believe me, I noticed that I was limbo slacking a bit.  I prefer to knock off a nice 5 or 6 seconds per mile.  So I picked up the pace for mile 5 and found myself in the LDL Zone.


Oh, shit.  I dropped 28 seconds and, for the first time, found myself in the Limbo Death Leap (LDL).  I dropped too quickly, too much.  Like bad cholesterol, a high LDL is not a good thing to have. 

But press on I must:


Okay, let’s bring it home.


And done.  Against all odds, I limboed to keep my streak of needless braggadocio alive and well.   But Nitmos does what Nitmos does. (shrugs shoulders, feigns nonchalance)  I was tired and my mouth was dryer than a reused dryer sheet.  Truth be told, I ain’t in shape for that kind of limbo.  Give me a few more weeks.  If a DJ with a tenor voice smoothly chanted at me, “How looow, can you go?”, I would have responded, “6:09.  That’s it buddy.”  It wouldn’t have mattered how much – or how loud – the calypso drums or Hasselhoff played.

Lesson learned:  When limboing, don’t create a huge LDL or you’ll knock the bar down.

So I guess I can learn new things.  And maybe Andy won’t give away his toys and there’s a beer that doesn’t taste good. Run and learn.

Limbo wisely, my friends.

Happy trails.

Garmin don't lie:

7.0 miles
6:38 per mile


Vava said...

You are too fast. Nice work!

Elizabeth said...

I have definitely taken the LDL before and suffered the consequences. Looking good-n-speedy there! And I must argue that I have had beer that didn't taste good...from a local microbrewery here in philadelphia...absolute worst beer ever, every flavor in that sample case was gross. But did we still manage to choke down the entire case? Yes we did because we are not quitters...

Viper said...

Ignorance is bliss. I don't limbo, so the only high LDL I encounter is mitigated by medication. Cheers!

Rain said...

Not a bad run at all. Nice way to negative split it.
LDL is a place I don't like to be, usually I can't hold and keep decreasing pace. Nice job!

Trent (Scott) Lorcher said...

I prefer reverse LDL. By the way, don't think I'll forget your Buckeye bashing barbs last post when the Buckeyes smash your sissy-punkass Wolverines for the ninth time in ten years this fall. You can have the soccer victory. Nobody cares.

Danielle in Iowa in Seattle said...

I am going to patent the Pole Vault Run, where every mile is successively at a higher pace. I'm pretty good at that one.

TCHusker - Nate said...

Awesome run dude. You racing anytime soon here? Looks like you're in good shape?

Yo Momma Runs said...

I'll start using "limbo" in Alabama. If it's anything like "oh no, he didn't" and "off the chain," we'll still be using it next century. But it will take twenty years to be seeded.