Thursday, November 17, 2011

Shadin' Away Again in Margaritaville

Be sure to drink your Ovaltine! Yep, you’re reading the first line of another commercial.

Well, not so much a “commercial” as a “product review”. And not so much “Ovaltine” as “Jimmy Buffett sunglasses”. Seriously, I have no idea how this ended up in my Inbox. I was offered a free pair of shades from an obvious Jimmy Buffett affiliated sunglass company called Margaritaville. They must have caught wind that I like to drink lots of rum, swing in hammocks, wear flowered beachwear, waste away again (and again and again)* and hate to squint. Since they gave me my selection of eyewear, the least I could do is offer an unbiased product review right?

This was an interesting product to receive free in exchange for a review. First, it only vaguely has anything at all to do with running. There are sunglasses made and marketed specifically for athletes. These are not those. There are blogs devoted to Jimmy Buffett, island life, or general interest in cheeseburgers and/or paradise. This is not that. To my knowledge, I’ve never mentioned Buffett or created much discussion of sunglasses in any way. Yet, there it was…an email offering a free pair of $150+ sunglasses. Why? I don’t know but I know better than to - what’s the old saying? - look a gift Jimmy Buffett in the mouth.

Sunglasses and I generally don’t get along. We are a bad mix…like Jerry Sandusky and tickle fights.** My face, while initially sculpted by angels but finished rough-sawn by the Carpenter, is a tough match for most sunglasses. They are generally too wide, too round, too douchebaggy for my smallish, angular skull. In fact, one of my hobbies is trying on sunglasses at nearly every store we enter that sells them. Somewhere, the perfect match exists…if only I could find it! I usually leave as disappointed as Mrs. Nitmos after our own tickle fight. I knew right off that ordering online was going to be tricky. I selected the Cayman model as it looked to be one of the smaller lenses but had the highest potential to make me look like Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino. (I don’t care what Abercrombie and Fitch says about me either, Mike. Word.)

That’s the Cayman model I received above. You won’t find a picture of me wearing them. As usual, they are too big for my face. I look less like The Situation and more like Ponch from CHiPS. They came in a nice little dry textured case (which makes me lick my fingers every time I touch it). They are as light as Erik Estrada’s coiffed, feathery look. I could see where they would be very runnable if you wanted to do that. You can barely feel them on your face. Like The Situation himself, there’s almost nothing to them.

They wear well. They shade well. They smell, well, like nothing in particular but that’s hardly important. What’s important is that Jimmy Buffett can wear them, The Situation can wear them, Erik Estrada can wear them. Hell, even YOU can wear them and pull it off. Me? Not so much.

The sunglasses are obviously a quality product. I’m sure you can find something at Margaritaville that’ll work for you. At the very least, I found something myself…a newly ignited desire for another ChiPS reunion. (Duh Duh Da-Dat Daaaahhh.) But, seriously, light, high quality, a little palm tree outline on the frame…

But now I’m just repeating things like a trained parrot.

Happy shading.

*And again and again and again.
**too soon?


Sun Runner said...

The first rock concert I ever went to was a Jimmy Buffet concert. It was 1987, and I was 13. I was VERY confused by some of the things I saw there. I'm now 37 and I'm still confused as to why people find his shtick so entertaining (I feel the same way about "Twilight" and Justin Bieber).

Also: I have been to a Cheeseburger in Paradise restaurant. Ugh. Never again.

I think you should start cruising the kids' sunglasses section the way Jerry Sandusky cruised...wait...too soon, too soon!

Viper said...

The Erik Estrada look is coming back. Just be patient. And thank you for saving me the, "A crummy commercial?" comment that I typically leave by starting off with a reference to said comment's referent. Cheers!

Ironman By Thirty said...

According to my ninja Google skills, you have 2 posts containing "Buffett" (Frozen Throat Chronicles: Episode 2 and DJ Nitmos in Da Howse). However, at the same time, you have 7 posts containing "buffet" (How To Celebrate A Successful Long, Run, The Itch, Faux Fatty, Get Me A Bucket, Have Legs, Will Travel, A Form of Celebration, and Randumbery VII). This just proves where your heart really lies.

Jill said...

Maybe you can regift them and give them away!

Went to a Cheeseburger in Paradise in twins were little and so sleep deprived from the time zone change and both of them did a face plant in their burgers and passed out. Really! I have no idea if the food was good, I was dying laughing.

Danielle in Iowa in Seattle said...

So do you where a hat when you run then? How do you project your angelic eyes from the glare otherwise?

Irene said...

I took a look at the site. They don't give sizes, which leads me to believe that those expensive sun glasses fit (and profit) only Jimmy Buffet.

Good thing those were free. :)

I saw Jimmy Buffet in concert a zillion years ago. He opened for Loverboy and Heart. Don't judge.