Friday, November 19, 2010

Randumbery X: May I Be Chosen By The Claw

I used to run this semi regular feature called "Randumbness" about, as you would guess, various random and dumb things going on. It was a nice page filler. You thought you were getting actual carefully constructed content. Instead, you were getting fluff, filler, time wasters. I'm not saying this to foreshadow this post. I'm just saying the post title is Randumbery and if you can put 2 and 2 together....well, we'll both be pleasantly surprised at your cognitive skills.

I haven’t done a Randumbery in awhile. Mainly, I didn’t receive many (re: any) emails clamoring for its return since I last did one in April. But I don’t do what you like around here; I do what I like. So here goes the usual assortment of haphazard, ill-considered topics presented to you in Pro/Con format (also in HD, depending on your monitor).

The Claw

Ever notice how good I am with photo editing? I look just like Woody in a scene from Toy Story. It’s seamless. You wouldn’t know that my work computer only has MS Paint and that I have roughly 4 minutes to complete the task. It doesn’t show.

I hope to be chosen by the NYRR “random” selection claw process for the 2011 NY Marathon.

Pro: If I’m selected, rest assured that I’ll gloat, prance around with my successful application and point & mock those not chosen.

Con: If I’m not selected, rest assured that I’ll humbly resubmit for the next year and I’ll thank you not to laugh.

The Beautiful Game

Mrs. Nitmos and I are considering signing up for a co-ed indoor soccer team to be played in a safe environment and amongst friends. We haven't played in years but how hard can it be right? Besides, it's good winter cross-training.

Con: It costs $85 per person per 8 games. That’s $170 for 8 games of 'America frowned-upon' European sporting action. We’d have to decide which child won’t go to college after all.

Pro: It’d be a one-time only deal as, once the others got a face full of my elbows and latent adolescent hostility manifesting in the form of spikes to the ACL and threats against an opponent’s “real” father (if they even know who that is, of course, and, for that matter, does your mother?), it’d be doubtful that we’d be asked back.

Torn ACL’s in t-minus 17 days…


Does anyone else refer to their home as a "lair" when speaking in public places? I highly recommend it just for the priceless looks you get from wary strangers.

Con: Your kids are humiliated and embarrassed to be seen with you.

Pro: Your kids are humiliated and embarrassed to be seen with you.

Hope everyone has a terrific weekend. Run long, run hard – that’s what I said – to make room for the turkey feast. That’s called being pro-active!

Happy trails.


Jamoosh said...

"Lair" is good, however I prefer "compound" as it conjures up both positive and negative feelings in people.

Marlene said...

I think I'm still making up for the (Canadian) turkey feast last month!


Razz said...

that reminds me: I need to bring back my SSTIFY.

I'm personally waiting for a torn achilles or broken eye socket in my basketball league. It's alllll about the cross training, isn't it?

The Sean said...

you lost me at cognitive

Ace said...

I'm sorry, I'm confused, how is it a Con that your kids are humiliated and embarrassed?

Danielle in Iowa in Seattle said...

I think soccer was a sport invented to destroy long distance runners.

Elizabeth said...

I totally am in agreement that the things you post in your blog should be things you like and not necessarily things your readers like, so "randumbery" away. "Me me, it's all about me," is something I say quite often. My husband doesn't buy it though, and neither does anyone else for that matter, so that's why I started a I could pretend. PS. I am impressed with your photoshopping -uh i mean - MS painting skills. :-)

chris mcpeake said...

The claw always seems to miss me

Nick said...

It's the claw. The claw's coming to get you. Rawr! All I see is Jim Carrey selecting you for the NYC. Is this the wrong image?

Pretend this is real said...

LOVE the pros and cons of calling your home a "lair."

TCHusker - Nate said...

I really wanna start calling my townhouse a "lair." My minions come and clear the snow and mow the lawn as I watch look on from the safety of my Window World fortified lair.

Beth said...

I'll keep my fingers crossed that you get into NY, but if you don't- think about doing Marine Corps the weekend before. I have a NY entry for next year but husband wants to do IM Florida that weekend, so I'll defer to 2012. Going to console myself with MCM.

Adam Culp (Crazy Floridian) said...

I have also registered in the NY Lottery for the marathon. Don't worry, I WILL laugh when I'm chosen and your NOT. Muhahahahaw!

However, it would be nice if we both get chosen.

Lauren said...

This post was so weird... love it!

Adam said...

Ahh yes, embarrassing your kids. Something I look forward to doing very very soon. Doing that to my wife was getting really old. (Who am I kidding, no it wasn't)