And other tales of the irregular.
A question Mrs. Nitmos and I are often asked is whether or not she runs also. Short answer: No. Slightly longer answer: Only to get me a beer. The full and much more interesting version: No because “things click in her head.”
No kidding. When Mrs. Nitmos runs, “things” click in her head.
We’ve had much discussion around the home about what this could be. Is her mandible cracked or unhinged? Could the temporal lobe have become detached from rocking out at the Aerosmith concert during our first date in 1990? Could something have happened during love in an elevator, lovin’ it up while we’re going down?
Not sure. However, something’s clearly amiss as we are both under the impression things shouldn’t click when you run. I expect my hip to click when I run in 10-15 years or so. But not in the head. The clicking noise would no doubt drown out the voices. Then how would I know who to take vengeance on and with what instrument of punishment?
Maybe she’s pulling the wool over my eyes. In any case, its unnecessary. Running is my crazy thing. Watching endless amounts of HGTV house remodels is her crazy thing. Betcha wish I knew how to use those long straight steely things that make holes in wood eh, hon?
It’s amusing to see the reaction when someone discovers that one half of us fritters copious amounts of time away running while the other has no interest whatsoever. It usually ranges from Pity (for her) to Disgust (for me) to Apathy (for even asking in the first place). I don’t think it’s odd in any way that both of us are NOT runners. I couldn’t imagine having to pick up extra house work while SHE is out running. Why do you think I picked up this habit anyway? It’s way more productive than crystal meth. Plus, I don’t look as cool all gaunt from crystal meth. Gaunt? Err, never mind.
Mrs. Nitmos doesn't run but she exercises at various gym classes and flaunts her new expensive bike around while I pedal away on my Walmart Huffy Snakerock mountain bike. I know you’re thinking ‘Nitmos, that’s a pretty cool bike. Where can I get one?’. Easy. Take $40 to Walmart, buy some milk, and laundry detergent and pick up your Huffy on the way out. Stick around, you might get change. If you’re lucky, your bike will make a metallic clunk sound every rotation of the chain wheel as well.
I don’t think I’m the only one out here in a mixed relationship.
Despite this difference, we are a perfect match. A yin-yang thing going on. Though I doubt anyone would describe us as circular or sperm like (anymore).
I guess it could be worse. Mrs. Nitmos’ best friend doesn’t run either. The reason? If she does, her "throat bleeds."
Now, I have to deal with that beer joke I made several paragraphs ago. Maybe I'll take off in a run and listen for the click click clicking behind me as I make my escape.
I wimped out. 82 degrees. I went for 4 x 800 (400 easy interval between) instead of 5. Not proud of myself but there it is.