Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The Clicking in Her Head

And other tales of the irregular.

A question Mrs. Nitmos and I are often asked is whether or not she runs also. Short answer: No. Slightly longer answer: Only to get me a beer. The full and much more interesting version: No because “things click in her head.”

No kidding. When Mrs. Nitmos runs, “things” click in her head.

We’ve had much discussion around the home about what this could be. Is her mandible cracked or unhinged? Could the temporal lobe have become detached from rocking out at the Aerosmith concert during our first date in 1990? Could something have happened during love in an elevator, lovin’ it up while we’re going down?

Not sure. However, something’s clearly amiss as we are both under the impression things shouldn’t click when you run. I expect my hip to click when I run in 10-15 years or so. But not in the head. The clicking noise would no doubt drown out the voices. Then how would I know who to take vengeance on and with what instrument of punishment?

Maybe she’s pulling the wool over my eyes. In any case, its unnecessary. Running is my crazy thing. Watching endless amounts of HGTV house remodels is her crazy thing. Betcha wish I knew how to use those long straight steely things that make holes in wood eh, hon?

It’s amusing to see the reaction when someone discovers that one half of us fritters copious amounts of time away running while the other has no interest whatsoever. It usually ranges from Pity (for her) to Disgust (for me) to Apathy (for even asking in the first place). I don’t think it’s odd in any way that both of us are NOT runners. I couldn’t imagine having to pick up extra house work while SHE is out running. Why do you think I picked up this habit anyway? It’s way more productive than crystal meth. Plus, I don’t look as cool all gaunt from crystal meth. Gaunt? Err, never mind.

Mrs. Nitmos doesn't run but she exercises at various gym classes and flaunts her new expensive bike around while I pedal away on my Walmart Huffy Snakerock mountain bike. I know you’re thinking ‘Nitmos, that’s a pretty cool bike. Where can I get one?’. Easy. Take $40 to Walmart, buy some milk, and laundry detergent and pick up your Huffy on the way out. Stick around, you might get change. If you’re lucky, your bike will make a metallic clunk sound every rotation of the chain wheel as well.

I don’t think I’m the only one out here in a mixed relationship.

Despite this difference, we are a perfect match. A yin-yang thing going on. Though I doubt anyone would describe us as circular or sperm like (anymore).

I guess it could be worse. Mrs. Nitmos’ best friend doesn’t run either. The reason? If she does, her "throat bleeds."

Now, I have to deal with that beer joke I made several paragraphs ago. Maybe I'll take off in a run and listen for the click click clicking behind me as I make my escape.

Happy trails.

I wimped out. 82 degrees. I went for 4 x 800 (400 easy interval between) instead of 5. Not proud of myself but there it is.

800's of:

Total effort:

5.63 miles
6:32 pace


chia said...

Well, I did hear women shouldn't run because their ovaries will fall out. Maybe it's all for the better :-P.

On that note, people probably cheer when I trot by lol.

SLB said...

I run, my wife used to, she has 2.5marathons under her Fuelbelt but that was on her "list" now she's a hiker and I am still a runner...with a bit of cycling thrown in. Not seen the inside of a gym in over a year but I can use power tools.

The only things that click are my knees...pass the drill nurse!

Kristina said...

Maybe her head would stop clicking if you got a bike that didn't clunk. You would be a noisy pair if you rode next to her while she was running. Do your children clack?

Sarah said...

Mrs. Nitmos is not the only one who hears weird clicking noises in her head when she runs. I experience the same thing. My (totally scientific) theory (since I'm a scientist and I can come up with such theories at will) is the walls of my sinus cavities are gently touching and then separating as I bounce up and down. The sticky separation is the "clicking" sound I hear. That or I have a brain tumor, of course.

Also, in my marriage, I am the runner and my husband is the cyclist. He has a fancy new bike and I have no bike at all since I allowed my Cannondale to be sold to provide funds for HIS new bike. What a loving, giving spouse I am! Of course this selfless, altruistic act got me something in return as I got $100 of the sale price of my bike and bought some new running duds. It was only fair.

Viper said...

It's good to have these warning sounds when you're doing something you shouldn't. I admire your spouse hunting.

Fun Guv said...

Mrs. Nitmos & I are in the same boat (as we showed when we ran around Chicago together all day trying to see you guys run by), although I don't hear clicking when I run.

I don't mind going for little 1 mile stretches, on a nice 40 degree day...anything longer or warmer than that though...count me out. I'll leave that to Mike

Non-Runner Nancy said...

Wow, I had no idea how much I missed you until I read this. :D

Marcy said...

Hmmmmmm head click sounds freaky. My ankle always clicks but that's nothing a little mp3 player can't drown out.

Viv said...

Had to be Aerosmith that caused the clicking noises. Sometimes, doing everything together can be damaging to a marriage. I for instance give the hub a good unnecessary cussing.

I am all about what kind of bike the Mrs. rolls in.

Funny you said Huffy. I was at the bike shop yesterday and they had a sign on the door that stated we do not repair Huffy's. LOL!

Xenia said...

I don't understand those couples who do absolutely EVERYTHING together--work, hobbies, etc. I would go bonkers. You need to have something that is very definitely all your own. At least that's my two cents.

Btw, the clicking noise? So scary. My knees make a cracking noise but that's only when crouching.

RazZDoodle said...

Hey, my head clicks too. I just ignore it like I do the other extraneous voices. Nothing crystal meth can't cure.

HGTV. I'm with ya man.

MizFit said...


Methinks I love you.


Paul said...

To paraphrase Roberta, you’re 'singing my life with your words'. My wife and I are definitely a runner/non-runner pair. Furthermore HGTV is like my witty repartee with my kids - always on. I feel that I have a close relationship with Vern, Candace, David, Sabrina, et al. Don't even get me started on Clinton and Stacy from TLC. (Shut up!)

Apropos of nothing other than my love of using the word 'apropos', your nom de plume always makes me think of the erstwhile NY Giants kicker Bjorn Nitmo.

jen said...

Put my husband in the "weird head clicking" club. He gets it occasionally. I will let him know he's not alone. :)

My knee clicks, but only on stairs. It's yucky.

In my marriage, I'm the runner and triathlete, and my husband is the better runner and triathlete. Asshole.

SJ Goody said...

How about the offspring? I know they've run in crazy kid events before but... what would excite them more? A Huffy or a pair of Asics? :)

Kevin said...

My wife only recently started training with me. Mainly swimming for now, but she is slowly coming over to the dark side

Marci said...

I know many couples where one spouse is a non-runner, and they are perfectly happy. Don't be disappointed with your intervals, you still did some, and that is what counts.

Paul said...

I regret my expedience-based ignorance of your fine explanation for your nom de guerre. Due to my over-reliance on Bloglines via my Blackberry I rarely see the fully formatted, ready-for-primetime blog sites that I follow.
I also regret that I too mispelled Bjorn's last name.

To answer the question from your comment on my site, I am currently 'All Hamstrung' after an unfortunate run-in with a 300m repeat on Saturday. This was only a one-weeker so I'll be back on the oval by the weekend.

aham23 said...

mrs aham23 does not run. in fact she doesnt exercise one bit. however she managed to drop the 50 lbs in 2006 the same year i dropped 70ish. maybe thru Osmosis. later.

sRod said...

Wifey and I came to the realization this weekend that if we both raced it would be bad news indeed. Who would hold my extra water bottle and carry my flip flops to the finish line if she ran races too? How do those running couples do it?

Laura said...

I've always wondered if I'd be better off in a relationship where the guy runs too. I think I like the idea of being the only runner, but I also want him to understand that I'm not crazy for what I do!

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