Friday, June 27, 2008

Paycheck? Yes, please.

Time is of the essence around these parts. My employer has foisted the burden of work deadlines upon my shoulders. They are asking me to - gulp - work eight hours a day. Eight!? There's posts to write, read and naps to take. This will have to be a quick entry. I can spare no more than 20 minutes. I'll have to ration out the other 7+ hours thusly: 4 hours of work, 2 hours of chatting with co-workers over coffee complaining about the amount of work I need to complete, and only one hour and forty minutes of my normal, extended super-sized two hour lunch break.

This is absurdity at its highest level. I have had weeks to complete my projects. My employer should know that I would wait until the last possible minute and then scramble to finish in time begging for extensions along the way. I have a track record. In exchange for a paycheck, they are making me suffer very reasonable expectations.

I won't be able to post about the record setting Limbo run last evening. Or the smashing 2:30 800's I recently ripped off. Mainly because I accomplished neither. But had I done so, you would not be able to learn about it.

And who's fault would that be? Mine? I'm trying to cram 4 hours of work into an 8 hour day. I'm not Superman. I am each of those root words individually but not as part of a conjunction.

My twenty minutes are nearly up. I'm a hunt and peck typist as you can tell. My employer is handing out paychecks today and, one can only assume, they expect some services in exchange. I will not play the fool to anyone. But I need race entry fees and shoes, so this monkey is going to dance for the grinder.

Let the work begin! I feel a work PR today. Mmmmm, I love the smell of dusty keyboards and coffee breath in the morning.

Happy trails.
___________________________________

Thanks for the ear bud tips! A certain brand of Sony bud seemed to be the most popular. I will need to check those out. During last evening's budless run, I caught myself visibly less angry and - dare I say - enchanted by the sounds of children's laughter from a nearby park. As a result, the sneering glance I shot their way was half-hearted at best. This cannot continue. I need some hard driving tunes to drown these mushy sounds out and restore my healthy, righteous indignation. Good day.

16 comments:

Non-Runner Nancy said...

By George, I've got it. You need a typing class. You would have even more goofing off time if you were a speedster on the key board. :D

Jess said...

Nancy's idea is brilliant. Think of all that time you could waste!

Viv said...

Really I am with Nanc.

I can't be limited to these three sentece posts from you. There is barely editors notes..geez

I am LOL at the coffee pot chats. I was a big fan of that when I "worked". I knew every coffee pot in that hospital.

Have a great weekend!

nwgdc said...

I'd have to agree! This is the "Summer of Speed" isn't it? start with this website and pick your game:
onlytypinggames.com

if i know you at all, you're gonna LOVE "Fowl Words"

RazZDoodle said...

think of the endless posts you could type! It'd be like being stuck at the DMV with only a laptop. Typing classes it is!

Viper said...

Boo! They're not handing out paychecks here until Monday, so I have the weekend to postpone my duties.

Don't cave to these other commenters. We wouldn't know you if you weren't a hunting pecker.

Xenia said...

What is this thing called 'employment' which you speak of? I am not familiar with it.

Please, sir, can I have some more...

Marcy said...

Bah, the things people do for money, eh?

chia said...

As I was reading your tribute to slacktitude... the boss came over and gave me my new title for the promotion I just got. Oye. Does that mean 8 hour days are in my future too?

If they are the Sony's POM recommended, I agree they are really great. I forgot about those :-)

Kristina said...

You could outsource your own job to, say, the third world, then pull some "overtime work" to make up the difference. I've adjusted nicely to the corporate world, have I not?

Ms. V. said...

I enjoy your use of the word *thusly*.

Tremendous post, but I can't make out the danged scrambled word to make my comment stick!

Lisa - Slow & Steady said...

I'll be interested in finding how much you like those sony ear bud things. You cracked me up with the footnote at the end

"I need some hard driving tunes to drown these mushy sounds out..."

Too Funny!!!

KC Stine said...

Actually, a conjunction would be the word that drew Super and Man together, so grammatically speaking you would not be the 'compound word'. I'm sure you would have noticed had your employer not been so unreasonable!

Regardless, love the word conjunction.

Marci said...

The hunt and peck typist comment made me laugh -loud. Thanks for that.

sRod said...

KC caught the same thing I did: Superman is a compound word. Is that Slash book messing up your elementary school grammar?

Way to procrastinate.

Laura said...

I like the outsourcing idea. I'd pay half my salary if it meant I didn't have to work at all :)