Thursday, March 27, 2008

Roadkill, Platoon, and Alzheimers Exist in a Single Post

I had to chuckle reading Aham23’s comment in my last post. My blogging has taken on a different tone in recent weeks and some explanation is warranted. Frankly, I started this blog as a pure time killer during slow work days inspired by my friend Mike’s blog. It existed largely as random posts here and there overloaded with dull training updates. I was considering pulling the plug on the whole thing. It was getting kinda boring in fact. Then, I decided I may as well shit or get off the pot (one of my favorite Adults Only sayings).

So, I’m shitting. And you’re reading. That makes you the shittee.

Sorry, not a huge fan of profanity normally but sometimes its just so accurate it can’t be avoided. Plus, I've yet to get an indignant remark in my comments section over my language. I haven’t “arrived” til then.

Basically, I've discovered that I was using a lot of self editing when creating my posts. Things would occur to me while typing – I would find them funny – but figured I better not put that in the post. And you have to understand that I am borderline bat shit crazy (that’s 4 “s” words now if you are counting at home. I’m sure to get some scorn this time!)

I respect Britney Spears’ sanity.

I walk around the house chuckling to myself quite often. My wife thinks I’m nuts.

This has gone on so long that, at this point, there’s no reason to have it diagnosed. I figure in a few years it’ll just descend into Alzheimer's and everyone I know can collectively throw up their hands and say “oh, so that’s what it was.”

I often think of the scene in The Naked Gun where Leslie Nielson and Priscilla Presley (I think) come out of the move theater laughing hysterically and then the camera pans up to show one of the least funniest movies of all time playing: Platoon.

That’s me in a nutshell. I often find humor where none should exist. Example: The sound the gun makes when Bambi’s mom gets killed. Fuuunny. Not realistic at all. Or when Ben Stiller gets hooked with a fishing hook in There’s Something About Mary. Again, not supposed to be funny but it gets me laughing.

So, until the onset of Alzheimer’s, you’ll get more of this half hearted humor and random brain boogers flicked at the screen. Hopefully, you won’t be offended. If nothing else, I want you to stop by here for some abuse. It’ll allow me to exercise the dormant Dominant within and you to exercise the Submissive, bloggily speaking, of course.

Switching gears.

I can always tell when it’s Spring in Michigan. Other states may see the blossoming of new flower buds; the warm glow of the afternoon sun; the fresh scent of lawn clippings. Here, we get roadkill. Lots of it. All the dead animals run down by cars, snow plows, etc. that had been covered by the snow for the last few months. It looks like a field after a great Civil War battle with bodies strewn about. Except, of course, the bodies are rotting deer, festering, pus filled raccoons, and the occasional skunk.

It’s always pleasant to run by one of those corpses and get that putrid whiff of animal death. Ugh. Where are our spring blooms to cover it up? Oh, yeah, they are crushed by the deer carcass in the ditch. Mmmm, spring is in the air (cough, cough).

Next time: An update on my last 20 miler before the Boston Marathon.

A promise: No more profanity for at least 3 posts.

Happy trails.


Non-Runner Nancy said...

I was thinking the tone had changed a bit myself. I thought maybe it was a Vanilla show-down. :D

I have a few screening tests for Alzheimer's if you think you are on a path. :)

RazZDoodle said...

I knew I picked up your blog for a reason.

nwgdc said...

ahh, so that happens over there too!? Hilarious...I was thinking about mentioning it, but wasn't sure how to. I'll just refer to your post.

L*I*S*A said...

As the 'shitee' I guess that would mean I have been shit on, right?

Love it.

Vanilla said...

Just Great. I come here on Friday afternoon to get away from being the "shitee" at work and just get more of the same here.

Merry said...

I applaud your High Moral Standards, refusing to use profanity for at least 3 posts. Will watch your future posts with great interest. There's too much damn profanity out there these days.

On the other hand, Healthbolt posted a link to a study that claims swearing "'helps build camaraderie, serves as a tension reliever, and makes the workplace more comfortable.' Or some shit like that."

sRod said...

I think we're all a little bat shit crazy. Hell, we willing subject ourselves to long periods of pain only to get up at the butt-crack of dawn to do it again the next day.

Glad to see your voice coming through your writing. Wish I could make English work that way for me. I don't think any language is dynamic or tangentical enough to capture my thought process.