Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Randumbery Bats Eyes at New York, Still

You come here for the snark; you stay for the soccer updates; you click away unfulfilled. Such is life on Feet Meet Street. Now you know how Mrs. Nitmos feels.

Randumbery lives! Do I need to explain this segment still after five years?? On with the shooooowwww…..

Kummerpecking Like a Motherspecker

Have you worked kummerspeck into a conversation yet? Ten points for Gryffindor if you have. I don’t need to ‘work’ kummerspecking into anything. I’ve literally been eating my grief bacon for a week now since the cancellation of the NYC Marathon. I’ve been kummerspecking the hell out of our leftover Halloween candy reservoir. And, to be honest, who’s kidding who about this “leftover candy” bin? I purposely bought way too much candy to give away full well knowing that there would be some left over. When events transpired that threatened to call my favorite candy into action Halloween night, I took control of the Front Door Sweet Dispersal Interface and reportioned our, ahem, rather generous contributions to a more modest size. Voila! My favorite candy saved just for me and my self-pity.

Is that a dickish move? I don’t care. If you want my fun-size Heath bars and giant fecal-reminiscent Tootsie Roll turds, you better not be the 17th Power Ranger I’ve seen. Or the 22nd Cinderella. Is that a magic wand or did you glue some glitter on star shaped cardboard and tape it to a pencil? #cheapskateheresabutterscotchdrop

One Bite of the Apple is Not Enough

Running a HUGE marathon is more about the event itself rather than the purity of running for running’s sake. My best race times have been at smaller races. I’ve enjoyed the sport more at those smaller events also. However, there is a tangible and invigorating energy surrounding these BIG ROCK STAR SUPER GALACTIC events that is missing at the small localized races. Though financially and logistically they are often a nightmare to deal with, I still like to experience them on occasion to take a dip in full on runner porn. Plus, let’s face it, the New York Marathon is a big “get”. Boston was a fun experience but New York was the one I was really looking forward to.

Did you know I didn’t get to run it? Did you drop out of the sky and start reading at this paragraph as that would be the only explanation?

After doing a few “laps” around Central Park that fateful Sunday, I can definitely say I’m still hungry for more. In fact, I think that only stoked my appetite. Before, I wanted to do New York. Now, I believe I NEED to do it. And I will….pending word from NYRR about how they are handling this year’s entrants. Next time, my bite of the Big Apple won’t have a worm in it.

FU Sandy.  I ran anyhow!
There can’t possibly be another inconvenient hurricane next year, can there Al?  I want to race down those streets like the winds of a....nevermind.

Oh, yeah, and rebuild Staten Island! Preferably with a heated indoor lounge able to house approximately 47,000 people once a year (or twice, pending natural disasters.)


This lady used her time NOT running New York to give the running community a good name. What a terrific ambassador(s) for the sport! Me? Too busy hobnobbing with huge international celebs here, here, here and here to be bothered.  Big gold star for her; picture with The Fonz for me.  Who won?

Mercury Up, Nipples Out

What has two nipples and ran shirtless the other day? You can’t see but my nipples are bending playfully back towards my areola as if to say “THIS GUY”. That’s right, 65 degrees in Michigan, in November! Oh yeah, I popped my top. It might be months before I get another chance. I was so excited that if Joe Francis and his Girls Gone Wild motor home been around, I might have giggled playfully, signed a release form, and stepped aboard in exchange for a t-shirt.

Soccer! Me, This Time

What has two aching hamstrings and doesn’t know its age? My spasmic hamstrings, bending like angry electrical arches, are saying “THIS GUY!” Is there anything more futile than running to near exhaustion, to a 6-6 tie in an over-30 co-ed league, against opponents of which half do not have functioning ACL’s and are forced to wear a knee brace?

It turns out, I’m much better telling my kids how to play rather than doing it myself. Speaking of which…

Soccer! The Colt and Filly, for the Final Time…This Season

Since I know you care and haven’t clicked away unfulfilled yet, here’s the final soccer update for the year. The colt’s J.V. team finished 10-2-3 allowing only 8 goals against this season to go with 10 shutouts - his stat sheet as a defender.

The filly’s team finished 5-3. As striker, she converted 16 goals in 8 games on the year (and about 6 other crossbars, ggrrrrr) and took home the team MVP trophy for her club team at the end of season banquet. The filly feels she can do better next year!?! Why do I think she’ll be complaining of sore hamstrings as a 41 year adult in a co-ed league one day? Circle of life!

That’s all...until January when it begins again. And again. And again…

Randumbery out.

Happy Seacresting.

Running isn't as popular as the NFL.  Who knew?


Beth (i run like a girl) said...

hey! some of us like butterscotch!

Rain said...

Oh, boy...you really take a lot of twit pics of yourself.
And this is the last we hear from you until Jan??

Jamoosh said...

I do not want your fun-size Heath bars. I want full on Zagnut Bars!