Friday, January 21, 2011

I'll Show You Mine; You Show Me Yours

Let’s face it, here in the frigid Midwest this time of year it is hard to come up with blog post topics. Not much exciting going on in the land of the dead. Running is in maintenance mode. The only races around are those that start with “Frozen” or “Snow” or “Igloo” or “Don’t Blame Me You Chose To Live Here”, etc. So I thought I’d go all MTV Cribs on you and show you around my place. Well, specifically, my work space. You know, “where all the magic happens”.

I know you probably thought that my work space is a fantastic giant trampoline in which I repeatedly try to back flip myself onto one of my pet unicorns, based on all of the wonderful, thought-provoking, offbeat topics I’ve provided for you over the years. Close. Instead, as you can see below, it’s a $30 clearance desk from Office Max. The desk has one of those roll out trays for the keyboard that I have to keep jamming back onto the track due to the weight of my apparently humongous wrists pulling it out too far. A roll out tray that cannot sustain the weight of a gaunt runner’s wrist? I see why it was in the clearance section.


You’ll note the requisite Runner’s World calendar. You’ll also note that I’m downstairs in the basement. No trampoline. No unicorns. Just a few spider webs, the clicking of the furnace, me, and a disgruntled llama (not pictured).

What you can’t see is the pile to the left of my desk of chewed fingernails, dried boogers, and lost ambition along with the vapor of Farts Past hovering in the air. The fingernails and boogers are swept up each week with the vacuum. The lost ambition is a bit more clingy.

I have two monitors. Me and my clearance desk are rich that way. You could say that I could multi-task by exploring two of your terrific blog sites at a time. You know, getting more done…reading more posts. You could say that but you’d be wrong. I have much better things to do than put up TWO blogs on a screen at a time. No, the left screen is reserved for my porn* (not pictured). The right screen is where you prattle away about something or other.

You’ll also notice that, behind my larger monitor is an In/Out box (t.w.s.s.) See:


Why do I have an In/Out box when I work from home through a largely paperless company? Basically, it’s a place to put my kids’ pictures when they come bounding down the stairs.

“Dad, look what I made for you.”
“That’s great honey but you can see Daddy’s having his Porn Time. Put it in the Inbox and I’ll review it later.”

It’s been five months. Haven’t gotten to it yet.

And, finally, on my desk you see a coffee cup from a local race. It’s their “prize” for finishing in the top 5 of your age group. It’s a prize in the same way that winning The Bachelor is a prize: You don’t really want to but, since everyone is watching, you feel you have to take it. I have a bunch of these mugs. I’ve donated a few of them to the local homeless shelter. If you walk these streets, you might find a few of Michigan’s capital city’s homeless sleeping on cardboard boxes and drinking their own hobo urine from one of these mugs. It’s the least I could do. Literally. Philanthropy!

Oh, and if I look far over my left shoulder, here’s my lazy dog. She sleeps quietly there six hours a day EXCEPT the moment I call into a teleconference, in which case, she finds something urgent to bark about. Maybe the llama is spitting at her?


She doesn't have a liver condition. She's not really jaundice. My camera battery is failing.

Now that I’ve shown you mine, perhaps you’d like to show me yours? Consider this a gift. You didn’t really know what to post about anyhow, did you? I’ve just given you a topic for free. You’re welcome, internets.

If I see a photo of your blog work space online that I find interesting (based on my own unknown criteria but it wouldn’t hurt to include a midget), perhaps I’ll send you one of those fancy race coffee mugs like you see on my desk. I have others in the kitchen cabinet. Unused. And no, before you ask, hobo piss not included. You’ll have to supply your own.

Now get clicking.

Happy trails.

*“work”

23 comments:

Turi said...

Is that a round dry erase board above your desk? Don't think I've ever seen a round one. At first I thought it was a mirror, which would have made more sense considering the owner...

Nitmos said...

Nice observation, Turi. Unfortunately, my photography didn't capture the complete image. It's actually a Mickey Mouse head dry erase board.

The mirror is on the ceiling above me.

Lily on the Road said...

and here I thought you worked Under the staircase!

Turi, I thought it was a round mirror too, how else could Nitmos "reflect" on such though provoking posts...

Razz said...

just because you have a desk and a mickey mouse dry erase board doesn't mean you actually do any WORK, does it?

Didn't think so.

word verification: "fooprag". that makes me giggle

One Crazy Penguin said...

I would post my work space, but it would make small children flee. We'll see though....

Jess said...

My home office consists of my bed or on days when I'm really ambitious my sofa. Gotta love my lap top!

Al's CL Reviews said...

I thought it was a mirror with shaving cream...I was wondering why you were doing your shaving in your office.

Anne said...

Oh dear...your desk looks like a neatfreak's compared to mine. I am not kidding...there is a mountain of stuff all over my desk. Maybe taking a picture is the motivation I need to actually get it cleaned up. We'll see...

I've got a CSN giveaway happening, come check it out :)

shannon said...

Your right about the race names, next week I'm running the Securian Frozen Half Marathon. Hopefully by next week it will have warmed a bit, it's -19F here in MN today at noon!

The Sean said...

The Sean's running calendar has all pictures of The Sean... but you are off to a good start with the Llama.

Charlotte said...

A tour of my place would consist of only the pics I could shoot from my spot huddled in front of the heater vent. What kind of hellish place is this?? (And yes, I ask that question every January followed immediately by "we're moving.")

Lisa said...

Just found your blog - I love this post. I have sometimes been at a loss for topics during the winter as well! I see you're in Michigan and running the Bayshore! I'm from Michigan originally and would LOVE to run the TC race one year soon. Doing the Detroit Half this year. Hope you stay warm!

The Merry said...

Back when I lived in California, this is usually the time of year that I'd call my distant relatives who live in distant places that get snow and ice and sometimes vice. (I would say lice, but that's not nice.)
I'd brag -- um, gently point out that it was warm and sunny and I was lounging by the pool.
Now that I live in the soggy North West, they've started calling me to ask about the rain. No sense of humor, some people.

Deb said...

I'd show you mine, but you'd likely go blind so I'll be kind and spare you. Let's just say that mine makes your Times Square-themed sofa and severed Disney head memo board seem downright tasteful.

PS- I'm so glad I can comment/verbally stalk you again! For months now a word has not appeared for the word verification thingie, so I've been reading but not commenting. You missed me, huh?

Chad said...

I'm quite disappointed you didn't give us a photo of the wall with the shackles. What's up with that?

Reluctant Runner said...

Adorable kiddie art, a cute dog curled up on the couch and a running trophy you can drink from. Sounds nice.

Even the llama could be entertaining, if housebroken.

Irene said...

So... That's where all the magic happens!

Uh, yeah, we have a clearance computer desk, too, but the thingy that shuts to make it look like a real piece of furniture has fallen off.

dannie chOOng said...

hey hey, congrats for being nominated as one of the "Best Running Blogs 2011" hope to read many more of your fantastic running stories. sending you greetings from Malaysia...

Adam Culp (Crazy Floridian) said...

The remedy is called "FLORIDA". It is warm(er), and there are races year 'round. Hmmm, the office space...is pretty nice but boring compared to the excitement surrounding yours.

Elizabeth said...

Love the sofa! and don't you just love how dogs sleep all night in their little doggy beds, then in the morning after doing their doggy business outside, they streeeettccch, wag their little tails, then hop up on the sofa to sleep the day away?

Jess said...

Fun idea! I'll "show mine" at some point. Down the stairs is not a bad commute.

Vava said...

Your generosity puts Warren Buffet's philanthropy to shame. Who's he to donate 99% of his fortune to charity once he goes? I bet he keeps all his age group awards all to himself.

Selfish bastard...

Vava said...

Oh yeah, your "office" has one distinct advantage over mine. Not to underestimate the value of a ten second commute, but no coworkers must be pretty cool too.

Stay single!