Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Die Hardish

I like to think of myself as a DIEHARD when it comes to running. I brave the cold, wind, sleet, rain, and rotting, ditch-strewn animal carcasses. I’ve run in sub-zero temperatures. I’ve gone on a suicidal 95 degree 18 miler. I’ve raced an approaching tornado home.* I’ve taken a huge dump next to the local high school football stadium because I had to and, dammit, that’s what a runner does. In short, the weather (or bowels) doesn’t stop me. I’m like a postal worker, I guess, but less angry and without a firearms permit.

I only missed 2-3 scheduled runs all of last year. I thought that was pretty good so, to celebrate, I’ve gone ahead and missed two this January already!

I’ll run in any weather but, you know what, that looks awfully cold out there. While I was drinking my fresh, hot coffee and gazing out at the quiet majesty of a winter’s morn recently, I saw a squirrel pop out of a hole, scamper over to another hole clenching a sharp stick in its teeth, disappear inside, and emerge a few moments later with the skin of another squirrel that he then wrapped around himself and tied underneath the neck before heading home to his hole discarding the bloody stick on the way. If I could read a squirrels thoughts – and who can’t, really – it seemed to be saying ‘Fuck, it’s cold out’ or ‘Who’s the bitch now, Mr. Nutty?!’ I couldn’t tell for sure.

While in the past I’ve definitely been DIEHARD. I would say, so far this year, I’ve been Die Hardish. After bitching and moaning for a half hour, I usually lace up and still go out. One of the two runs I missed was not because I wanted to but because we had other plans that interfered. As usual, once you actually get out in the cold it’s really not so bad. It’s the ‘getting out’ part that’s the hardest.

I always feel like I sprout a few more chest hairs whenever I return from a particularly frozen run. My voice drops an octave. Hell, my testicles droop a little more (that’s good right?)

For the first time in four years, I’m not running a spring marathon so I've had the luxury to take January a bit easish. I have a half marathon in May . I don’t need to kill myself with winter LONGRUNS. I’ve been content with winter longish runs. Maybe that’s wimpish. I’m sure I’ll hear about it from you January DIEHARDs and I don’t really careish.

I’ve capped my long runs in the 7-8 mile range. Sure, that’s not the same as taking a John McClane leap off an exploding rooftop with nothing but a fire hose to keep you alive (t.w.s.s.). It’s more like riding in a fast moving elevator without handrails. It’s not DIEHARD but Die Hardish?

I’m comfortable with that. Just like I’m comfortable with the fact that one of you is going to call me Steel Magnoliasish in the comments.

Happy trails.

*Contents of this post may be slightly exaggerated.


FYI: My photo editting skills, while not great, are certainly improving, no? The necks almost align in each picture!


Sun Runner said...

Your current training and mine sound an awful lot alike. No spring marathon for me, just a half in May, and I'm loving the reduced mileage.

The prospect of NOT having to run 18-20 miles in 15-degree weather and fresh snow makes me feel a little funny in my naughty areas.

Enjoy the mini-heat-wave we're having!

B.o.B. said...

I live in Florida where 40, ok fine, 50 degrees is cold. I don't blame you one bit. However, come summer time I will call you out for not running when it's hotish up there.

Anne said...

Just Do Ish! :)

Ian said...

No your photoshop skills are still suckyish.

Xenia said...

I love the fact that you put your face on Dolly Parton's body. I thought you were a leg man.

ShutUpandRun said...

Testicles drooping and dropping is for sure a good thing. You should be like Tosh.O and start using a sharpie on your birthday every year to mark where they hit your thigh (knee).

Ironman By Thirty said...

"It’s the ‘getting out’ part that’s the hardest." Hopefully this isn't what Mrs. Nitmos thinks about your relationship?

Danielle in Iowa in Seattle said...

You may come close to John MacLane, but you, sir, are nowhere near the awesomeness of Dolly Parton.

Beth said...

I am also enjoying the "no spring marathon" mode. While it's not that bad once you get out there, after an hour or so I'm ready to come back inside. I'll run 10 miles, but not very excited about 20 in this weather. BTW, what is Shirley McLaine doing with her hand? Is that why you are smiling?

Anonymous said...

Bicycle 130 miles through the San Bernardino desert in 112*F heat. Then you are FLAT Die Hard.

Irene said...

All runners are diehardish. :)

My word verification is "convent." Hardly!

Jess said...

It's not the cold so much that bothers me, it's the snow and slippery roads. So I guess I'm DieHard-ish too.

Aileen Ruane said...

I only missed 2-3 scheduled runs all of last year. I thought that was pretty good so, to celebrate, I’ve gone ahead and missed two this January already!

I LOL'd at this. Now everyone in the TA office thinks I'm nuts. Or Die Hard. Ish.

If I wasn't signed up for a spring marathon, I'd probably only be doing short-ish runs right now. To hell with long-ish runs! I think you can take a break :)

Vava said...

My motivation when it's crappy out is that I absolutely HATE missing workouts. Always have, and I guess I always will. I've been forced to miss four runs this year already after only missing three in 2010 and that BITESish (only 'ish' because I had good reasons like "calf strain" and "sick as a dog").

But missing runs because "family commitments" get in the way?

For shame... I never took you to be the Family comes first type. More the Family comes first as long as their plans are made around mine.

Perhaps some reflecting is in order?

Stay warm.

Adam Culp (Crazy Floridian) said...

Meh, that's OK...I will run enough miles for the both of us. You will get your turn in the summer when it is 100+ here in Florida...wimp. :)

Psyche said...

What? Not one comment about the squirrel story? Nitmos, you are so under-appreciatedish.

As are your mad photo shop skilz.

Thanks for cracking me up on a fry day:))