Friday, August 21, 2009

Giving Away $100 Dick's!

Perverts. The title is not what you think and you know that.

You’ve probably seen a few of these giveaways in bloggerland already but, since you haven’t seen it here before, it’s all new to me and you. And, besides, if you want to argue about it, then how ‘bout I guarantee you don’t win a $100 gift certificate? It can be done.

What makes my giveaway of the $100 Dick’s Sporting Goods gift certificate different than the others? More anger. More cheap shots. Less common decency. The Three Pillars of Nitmoism.

I know that I mentioned that if my track intervals didn’t go well on Tuesday that I was going to make you do some crazy shit in order to win the certificate. They didn’t go well but I can’t exactly deem it a failure. If you read that post (and I’m sure you did), you know that I ran my intervals exactly as I had pre-determined I would. I can’t take it out on you. Begrudgingly, I’ll have to ask you to put away the car battery and jumper cables, lock up the farm animals, re-shell the turtle, and return the midget to the carnival. I guess I’ll use a random generator to determine the winner.

So, formally…


Hear ye, hear ye, guys and gals! Here is your chance to win a $100 Dick’s Sporting Goods gift certificate. It’s good for in-store and online purchases. Don't live near a Dick's? No problem. You obviously own a computer right?

The rules are…

1. Follow @dickssportcmo on Twitter

2. Leave a comment with an answer to the question "What would you buy at Dick's with $100 and why?"


I will also give special consideration to your entry if, in addition to the official Dick’s rules above, you respond to one of these two dickish questions below in your comment:

1. Assuming Vanilla has a pet, how would you prepare it for dinner service? Describe your recipe with special emphasis on the word “minced.”

-or-


2. If RazZ and Viper were conjoined twins and only one could survive surgical separation, would you go ahead with the procedure anyway? And why?

Leave a comment. Get entered. WIN! (Well, one of you anyhow.) As mentioned, it will be randomly drawn by assigning each comment a number based on order entered and using a random number generator to do the selection. I will accept entries up to midnight ET, August 30th, 2009! The winner will be announced on this blog shortly after that. You will then need to contact me and provide me with your name, address, and email address so the certificate can be sent to you. If you don’t want to give me your name and address – for obvious reasons (see car battery and midget discussion above) – you are S.O.L. Thems the rules. Besides, I already checked with my parole director* and I’m cleared – finally! – to be involved in something like this.

Why will my giveaway remain open for so long? And why will you be staring at this on my main page all next week? Cuz, I’m on vacation. Again. I doubt I’ll even give you all the consideration of a quick update but you never know. A lot depends on what Hurricane Bill does to me.

Now, go, comment, win. Good luck!

Happy trails.

* Incidentally, when I told my p.d. about this giveaway, he scoffed and asked, “So they are giving a $100 Dick’s coupon to a million dollar a-hole?” Funny guy. Rob one little series of county orphanages and you have to deal with these jokesters....

42 comments:

RunToFinish said...

OMG, usually I stop by and I'm just to lazy to post..but really how would I prepare his pet to eat...I think I threw up in my mouth a little...of course that might have been from laughing. I'm not really sure.

umm on the other front, should I happen to win I think a pair of biking shorts are in my future...but if they have six pack abs for sale I'd be pretty happy with that too

Vanilla said...

I have a pet Salmon. I would sautee it and serve it with stuffed portabello mushrooms and drizzle with a nice merlot reduction.

If I won $100 from Dicks, I would buy a new fishing rod (to catch some more pet salmon).

Xenia said...

Don't enter me in the contest. Having said that, I'm still going to answer question #2.

I would not go ahead with the surgical separation. Much more fun to think of them stuck together for eternity. But considering the damage Viper would inflict on their collective liver, they probably won't have that much time together anyway. Sad.

Enjoy your vacation.

Jamoosh said...

I refuse to have anything to do with Twitter, so I am officially DQ'd. However...

1) Based on his weak ass showing in the Georgetwon Half, I can only assume that Vanilla's calves are tender rather than sinewy, so I believe I would start there - a nice filet will do. I would obviously have to hang the rest of him in a meat locker so he didn't spoil. Oh wait, you said Vanilla's Pet. Never mind.

2) What are the odds of both of them perishing?

Al's CL Reviews said...

If I won $100 from Dick's I would get a Washington Redskins Pet Bed, and a
Brooks Shamrock Mesh Hat.

Shannon said...

Guess I can't enter, I'm already sucked in a Facebook vortex. There is no way I could keep up with Twatter!

Marlene said...

After entering a few of these giveaways all over the blogosphere, I found out it's only good for U.S. residents. Boo to the hoo. :(

So, please don't enter me. Good luck to everyone else...

Have a great weekend!

Shannon said...

BTW, I figured "Old Spice" had a Chinchilla for a pet! Weird how I thought that. ;)

David said...

RazzDoodle and Viper are joined at RazzDoodle's bullet-typing finger. To save Viper, you’d have to be sure to harvest RazzDoodle’s liver while you were at it. To save RazzDoodle, you’d have to sacrifice future bullet typing. It's a tough call, but if I were the surgeon, I'd go for the separation. I’d save RazzDoodle. Even though he’ll likely go insane from pounding his stumpy finger on the keyboard vainly searching for a bullet point, he’s got this really cute daughter. And she’ll probably think he’s funny.

If I had a $100 give thingy, I'd buy a basket and a bell for my wive's new bike.

Nitmos said...

By the way, the "Follow at Twitter" thing is not madatory...only suggested. Your comment gets you in the drawing. Hey, and now look at this, I'm entered into my own drawing!

Jeri said...

I've entered way too many of these but I keep non-winning (I refuse to use the word lose thankyouverymuch) so I'll try, try again. Eternal optimist that I am. :) I really want some good cold weather running clothes since I have, um...none. And that crap is spendy.

mr loser said...

Enjoy your vacation (please don't put me in the contest, thanks). Cheers

RazZDoodle said...

I have to admit that the pet salmon still has me laughing.

I'd buy $100 of Gatorade Gum just to see how much that would get me.

As for the comments about my liver...it's probably just as pickled as Viper's, so take that out of the equation.

Katie A. said...

Finally a post that's worth commenting on! Sheesh!
I really need some new sports bras and that $100 Dick's will come in really handy! (Do I get extra points for using the word bra in my post?)

Ted said...

What would I do with $100 ? That's easy. Get another running shoes to sleep with.

I would answer number 2. I would not go ahead with the procedure. Just leave Razz and Viper together! It takes two to tango !

Blyfinn said...

The only true way to prepare a pet is have it slow cooked in an apple wood smoker. Unless he has a pet rhino. Then that would be just wrong.

Annie Cat said...

More running tights for once it gets cold.

Vanilla's pet: grilled, with a mango salsa (make sure to mince all ingredients for the salsa well!).

Thanks for making clear that we don't have to succumb to the evils of Twitter to enter.

M. Brooks said...

If I won $100 from Dicks I would buy some Under Armour sports bras and LiveSTRONG gear. Yep, that's pretty much it.

needlerunning said...

I normally don't post, but I really need more running stuff. With #100 I would buy some more running shorts. I bought 2 pairs from there last week and that exhausted my funds.

I would say that Vanilla has a pet pig, which of course could be made into a find bbq. I would also fix a nice baked potato with and top with minced pet pig.

Lisa Slow-n-Steady said...

I would buy running capris. I need something for days when the temps are too cool for shorts but not cold enough for full on tights. :-)

theloosemoose said...

I'd buy running bras and Body Glide.
(Running am hard on the ta-tas.)

Enjoy your vacation!

Cindi H said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aka Alice said...

I am so disappointed. I really thought I was gonna see some $100 dicks...((sigh)).

I just read Julie and Julia (the book before the movie, always) and I hope that Vanilla has a pet lobster because the whole thing about killing it was just AWESOME!

Oh, and with a GC? I'd buy some capris and a long sleeve shirt to run in. It'll be winter soon and I need some SoCal winter running gear.

Running and living said...

Ok, I;d probably buy running gear - shorts, Ts, socks.
I, too, watched "Julie and Julia" - the pet would be deboned!
Ana-Maria

Doreen said...

If I won this Dick's giveaway, I'd like to get some work out clothes, sports bras, shorts, maybe some shoes too! Thanks for the chance to win!!

Larry said...

If I had a hundy to spend on Dick's, I'd use it for some tights (to show off my awesome legs while still keeping warm), some gloves (to protect my hand-model caliber hands from the chill bite of winter), and a hat (to protect my eyes). Maybe a new pair of shades too, so that no one can tell if I'm checking them out (I am).

Tall Girl Running said...

I generally don't succumb to blog giveaways but I really could use some new running gear, particularly some compression shorts. I've been wearing my bike shorts and feel very self-conscious about running with a padded crotch. If not the shorts, $100 at Dick's could buy a hell of a lot of body glide. So, consider me entered.

I feel like such a giveaway whore now.

Kevin said...

If I had a 100$ to spend at Dicks, I would buy some running shorts that dont crawl up my arse crack like the ones from walmart do

S said...

I've been craving a pig roast...so hopefully Vanilla has a pet pig?

And if I had $100 from dicks I'd buy some new cooler weather running clothes. I'm boring like that.

Richard said...

1. On the grill. salt, pepper, and fire.

$100 at Dick's... I would have to go with Livestrong Gear.

Jesse said...

If I won $100 gift card, I'd buy some compression shirts so that my nipples don't chafe so much when I run.

Jess said...

I'd buy new tech long sleeve tech tees for when the cooler temps set in.

And as far as eating Vanilla's pet the thought makes me want to hurl. And I couldn't kill off Razz or Viper, I guess I'm not all that dickish, but I still think I should win.

P.S. I'm following them on Twitter too!

Spike said...

I would buy 100 $1 Dick's gift cards.

I'll keep the neighborhood safe while you and the family are away...have fun.

ShutUpandRun said...

I love Dick's - online, in the store, however I can get it. And if I won, I might be lame and spend it on my son who is 11 and about to start cross country. Or I might just spend it on myself to buy something really snazzy to run in this winter in CO.

About Vanilla and the pet. I bet he has a pet Beaver. 'Nuf said.

Lauren said...

I second the bra and body glide. I'd get some socks too. Those suckers are expensive.

As for #2, I'd have to leave them together as long as they agreed to post video of their interval training.

Jess said...

I'm boring and would just buy running shoes and Gu. Running shoes are wearing out quickly these days.

aron said...

definitely running shoes... i am going through them like crazy right now! :)

Adam said...

Funny, the answer to questions one and two are the same: Gels. I would buy $100 worth of gels because it seems that i only buy $4 at a time and am ALWAYS going into Dicks.

To answer #2, I'd cover it in orange powerGel and bake at 400 for 1 hour. Some sort of orange glaze would likely result.

linteater said...

I might buy some cargo pants so I could look like Vanilla while I run.

Velma said...

I would buy a new outfit for the Chicago Marathon with my $100 bucks. Do you have any extra hello kitty stickers to decorate my outfit?

I would separate RazZ and Viper. RazZ is a family man, and I think that Viper and his drinking would be a bad influence on RazZ. I do like the idea of keeping them together and making them to interval training.

Shooting Stars Mag said...

okay okay, I don't have anything interesting to add based on your questions HOWEVER, I will say that if I won, I wouldn't be selfish...I'd let my dad have the card to get some golf supplies or something so him and my brother and sister can hang out more. I'm being totally honest too. No lies, no lies! It would be awesome to have this.

-Lauren
lauren51990 AT aol DOT com

Danielle in Iowa said...

Dang! I keep missing the contests!