Sometimes you just pray for video surveillance equipment, don’t you?
Mrs. Nitmos has been hitting the gym lately. While not a “runner”, she is an “exerciser.” (Note: Not an exorciser which would be really cool.) Usually, her exercising doesn’t include a treadmill. I can’t blame her. Those things are rotten sonsabitches as far as I’m concerned. I avoid running on them at all costs. When the weather gets real foul in December to February, I might be forced on them three to four times during that stretch but that is it for the year. I find waiting an extra day and shifting my schedule a bit usually does the avoidance trick most times.
Anyway, Mrs. Nitmos decided to pound out a mile on the mill just for kicks. This is where the comedy ensues.
She’s milling away listening to the soothing - not at all shrieky - sounds of Linkin Park on my mp3 player and enjoying a nice run. She reaches for the stop button but inadvertently hits the increase speed button. I never noticed an Increase Speed button on the gym treadmills but she swears it’s there. Probably near the flux capacitor.
You can see where this is going right?
ZOOM! Off the back crashing to the ground and slamming into the wall behind the mill. My mp3 player goes flying. Linkin Park can still be heard being angry about something from the hopelessly tangled ear phones in the corner. Just as hopelessly tangled? Mrs. Nitmos limbs. She claims that she hurt her back and heiny a bit but, though a little embarrassed, otherwise quickly stood back up and pretended she meant to do that by muttering something about “Plyometric training being a real bitch.” In my mind, she was cartoonishly tied up with legs over shoulders and an arm wrapped around the head. Two people had to help her untangle the limbs and stand up.
The good news is that my mp3 player wasn’t damaged (although Linkin Park seemed really pissed off next time I listened to it.) Mrs. Nitmos wasn’t seriously hurt.
The bad news is that the scoreboard now reads Treadmill 1, Mrs. Nitmos 0. And the gym doesn’t have video surveillance for me to submit this to America’s Funniest Home Videos and win $10,000 (or approximately 125 pairs of Asics.)
That treadmill has a little devil in it. Maybe it would be better if she was an exorciser after all.
I need some work. 3 x 800 at 2:54, 2:58, 3:02. Ugh, that ain't gonna beat 18 minutes in a 5k. I'm going to do some 400 repeats on Saturday (instead of the planned mile repeats) and then an 8 mile long run Sunday. Speed begins....now!