Swine Fever

Far be it for the folks at Feet Meet Street* to draw an analogy between the upcoming Flying Pig Marathon and the current swine flu pandemic. That would be distasteful, opportunistic and wrong. Besides, I have a strict No Pandemic Flu Mocking policy on this site. (Unless it’s the infamous 1918 Spanish Flu cuz that’s just plain ole funny.)

Besides, you didn’t really think I’d let a cheap opportunity pass - this whole week - without talking about my pig marathon and swine flu, did you?

For the Flying Pig, I think I’ve decided to wee wee wee all the way home rather than go for the roast beef. I’ll be running with a friend. He suggested that we wear medical face masks all the way to the Finish Swine to prevent contraction of the disease. I think we should wear this:

"Normal" pig

Or this:

Swine Flu infected pig

Either way, I’m definitely writing this little poem I composed across my shirt:

Watch out
For my snout
Swine Flu
Coming Thru

See, folks will laugh uncomfortably at first and then get slowly appalled. Uncomfortable laughter followed by simmering feelings of hatred is a typical – and beloved – reaction after an encounter with Nitmos. Just ask my grandparents.

I’m getting excited to run this race. Believe it or not, this is the FIRST official race of the year for me. It kicks off my Second Summer of Speed (SSOS) which I will be formally announcing soon. I’m going to treat this marathon as a rolling, sweaty party on feet. The kind of party that involves pain, anger, despair, brief suicidal thoughts and fist shaking at that one jackhole spectator shouting “Almost there!” at mile 18. (I might explode on him....and then he'll think I had Mad Cow disease instead.)

I’ll finish it when I finish it.** I’ll finish with a pig eating grin on my face and no trace of influenza in my veins. Like most marathons, I’ll probably finish it feeling slightly lethargic, maybe even nauseous with a slight fever, runny nose and probably a little diarrhea. Oh wait…

Besides the whole pandemic-pig thing, there’s good vibes in the air for this race.*** I’ve got the fever to run. And it’s contagious.

Happy trails.

Race report to come!

* Me
** Preferably slightly south of 4:00 hours please.
*** Which is way better than bad microbes in the air, if you ask me.