Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Hello Fashion Police

Note: The following is a guest post by the mysterious Hello Kitty Mystery Runner who is currently training for the upcoming 2009 Boston Marathon.

In a little less than two weeks, I will wear what might be the greatest fashion statement in the history of the Boston Marathon. Yeah, Katherine Switzer donned the very fashionable gray hoodie top and gray sweat pants,

Switzer and the fall of marathon sexism in action!

and there is the pink tutu runner

well, um......never mind. Yes, I confess, my choice of running gear for the fabled 26.2 mile run from Hopkinton to the Boston Public Library might be a fashion statement, but it won't be the greatest of all time...unless you are a big Hello Kitty fan! And who isn't?!?!?

Here is a little background: I stayed at a friend's house the night before I ran a marathon in February, 2007. I packed all my gear, my "to do list" and everything. My host cooked up a big bowl of pasta for dinner that we enjoyed with their two young daughters.

Well, as I got everything ready the night before, I realized that I forgot waterproof bandaids for my nipples. GULP! I asked my friend if they had two waterproof bandaids in the house and a minute later he came back with two bandaids from their daughters' stash: Two Disney Princess waterproof bandaids. I think they were Jasmine and Ariel.

Fast forward to November 2008. As I ate dinner the night before my marathon, a friend presented me with a box of Hello Kitty bandaids for race day. I felt great in the race - the whole race - and ran about 4 minutes faster than I had fathomed.

Shortly after I crossed the finish line, my family and friends found me and I flashed them the Hello Kitty bandaids. This was likely the greatest moment in their lives.

Since then, I wear something Hello Kitty in each race I do. In December I placed 2nd overall in my Hello Kitty yellow singlet 1.0.

For the big race on the 20th, here is what I plan to wear:

Visor: White Nike Dri-Fit visor. I have worn a HK bandaid on the bill of the visor in a previous marathon but I think I will go with the plain white or possibly wear a red bow on the left side of the visor. We shall see.

Gloves: I live in Florida, so if it is below 60 degrees at the start, I will wear gloves (editor's note: below 60? Wimp!), at least until I cross the start line.
Option #1: I will likely go with the thin off-white gloves with the index finger chewed off (thank you sister's dog). What is really great about these gloves is that since the finger is chewed off, it is much easier to hit my lap split button on my watch.
Option #2: some pink stretchy gloves that I "borrowed" from my daughter.

Watch: a crappy Timex watch that only remembers 8 splits/laps with really small numbers. I refuse to buy a Garmin (pbtn) and Nitmos refuses to loan me his as he is smart enough to know that if I hear 100 dumb Hello Kitty comments during my race that eventually I will crack, rip the Garmin (pbtn) off my wrist and throw it at a 4 year old little blonde girl from Des Moines who is waiting for her dad to run by.

Bandaids: two water proof bandaids and a HK bandaid on top of each of them. It is the best way to keep them sticking for 26+ miles.

Shirt: I will be wearing the fabled yellow Hello Kitty singlet. Bib on my stomach (as opposed to my chest) small HK picture on the upper right side of my chest. I have made an upgrade to the singlet recently as I have added a 6"x6" HK on the back, just below the red Steers Long Distance Project logo. Depending on weather, I will wear a blue long sleeve shirt under it or just wear a sweatshirt or long sleeve shirt in the beginning of the race...and of course, the outerwear will have a HK on the back as well. I feel kinda bad for the men who I beat to the finish line. Nobody wants to run their only Boston Marathon, and lose to an old dude with a HK picture on the back of his shirt.


Shorts: My marathon blue shorty shorts. They are barely long enough to cover my...never mind, I can see that I am getting Nitmos all hot and bothered. They do make me feel pretty though.

Socks: white WrightSocks. I have worn them in about 5 marathons, they are my favorite pair of running socks. They are thin and have two layers to reduce blisters. We'll see about the blisters and lost toe nails at around 1:10 pm on Monday.

Shoes: My Choco Kitty shoes will make their racing debut. They are a pair of black Asics 2130s that I bought in February. Some fun things about these shoes are that not many people wear black running shoes. And black shoes make you look slower (it is a proven scientific fact). So, how would you feel if you ran behind a dude wearing a yellow HK shirt and as you watched him, you thought to yourself, "he looks really slow, yet I can't pass him. Am I running that slowly?" Totally demoralize the Anti Kitty crowd, that is what it is all about.

One last thing that I need your help with: I've been told to expect a lot of ribbing from fellow runners for my choice of shirt. With that in mind, if you can help me with something to write on the back of an old race bib below the HK picture to humiliate, or make a fellow runner laugh, I would be appreciative and to show my appreciation, Nitmos will give a free pair of shoes to the person who provides me with what lands on the old racing bib. (Editor's note: You see those shoes above? Yes, you can win those!)

Until next Monday (with my race day strategy)...Hello.


Marlene said...

Run, run as fast as you can. You can't catch me I'm the Hello Kitty man.

Okay, that's dumb.

Anyway, nice digs!!! I'll be watching for you in Boston.

Kristina said...

It probably won't do anything for fellow runners, but if you write "Wellesley girls make me purr" on it, you're sure to get a reaction around mile 13. Probably not a good one, though.

Jodie said...

"Why are you chasing me?"

Love, love, love the attire. Good luck in Boston!

Spike said...

I love the black 2130s and the shirt. I suggest you put "You've just been Kittyed"

Crabby McSlacker said...

I love the hello kitty tank top! Oh wait, you serious runners don't call them that. Excuse me, the hello kitty singlet.

Hmmm, perhaps:

See ya' later pussy... cat.

Nitmos said...

My suggestion?

"Run Faster - Strawberry Shortcake is also gaining on you"

Roisin said...

That's just about the cutest singlet EVAH!

How about, "I'm big in Japan"?

Dr. J said...

My buddy, Tatiana Titova just told me she won the marathon in Jacksonville. Not bad for the "old lady!"

KimsRunning said...

Wow, all of those sayings are great!!!

I always liked "I may be slow, but I'm ahead of YOU"...saw that on a bumper sticker.

KimsRunning said...

PS. Thank you Nitmos

Marci said...

Glad you are back!

I think the pink tutu guy is Canadian. I saw him a few weeks ago running Around the Bay 30K road race in Hamilton, Ontario.
I didn't know Bayshore was sold out.

It does say they are opening more spots on the 3rd of May, so you never know. Thanks for the info.

Reluctant Runner said...

How about, "My Spongebob Squarepants singlet is in the wash"? I would really suck as a t-shirt slogan writer.

Best of luck at Boston. You have your fashion statement drafted and that is no doubt the most important part.

Ted said...

OMG - I cannot believe you are going to be wearing HK thing! I will be sure to look for you on TV. I am all set to watch on Vs (versus) TV.

Maggs said...

My other race singlet is Tinky Winky.

Velma said...

You just got lapped by a "pussy' cat.

Hillarious post. I actually like the shirt. Did you make it yourself?

M2Marathon said...

Well, the random slogan generator gave me "Moving at the Speed of Hello Kitty" and "I can't Believe I Ate the Whole Hello Kitty" and "Now With 50% More Hello Kitty!" I personally like the last one best. Good luck and Kitty Up.

sRod said...

Maybe: "Hello Loser"