Monday, April 13, 2009

Bunny Droppings

We did not gather with Psycho Bunny this Easter. The shame!

I did not even drink a Blatz. Double shame!

As guests at the in-laws home, I watched my just turned one year old dog throw up her birthday treats all over their dining room rug. The shame trifecta!

There’s nothing better than asking a relative or friend to put up with you, your family, and your family pet and then have that pet spill stomach bile and partially digested Milkbones all over their floor. I was so embarrassed, I had to leave the room while they cleaned it up. No matter how many times I watch two seventy-three year olds bend down on creaky joints and clean up after my animal (or kids), it never gets any easier. I just can’t watch. And I spare them the vicarious embarrassment of having to see me be embarrassed so I leave the room. I return when I no longer hear the gentle metallic tap of the Medic Alert bracelets against the tile floor.

I was supposed to knock out my last 21 miler on Sunday. Instead, I watched my kids spin around on the driveway on new scooters, eat enough candy to make Augustus Gloop blush, and find enough reasons to hide in another room while critical dinner making tasks were being handed out.

I didn’t have to help with dinner (or clean up!) but I didn’t get my 21 in either.

Now I’m in that torturous limbo territory where I’m so close to taper but….just…can’t reach…it. The forecast calls for rain both today and tomorrow. If I wait until Wednesday, I’m getting into that Do I Even Bother area. I don’t like to miss 20 milers. It makes me feel sad, sport a big pouty lower lip, and complain about things loudly in an annoying baby talk way. Believe me, Mrs. Nitmos can attest to this.

I may have to spin the 20 away on the treadmill tonight purely out of necessity. Or I might watch a Pauly Shore movie. Equal punishment (though only one will help prepare for the marathon.)

I hope you all had a terrific Easter. Mine was nice too. Except, when the bunny came for me, I got a basket full of droppings. That ain’t chocolate. And they don’t go down easy.

Happy trails.
_________________________________

Incidentally, a woman asked me at the Easter gathering what an “adequately good time” is for a 5k. Without thinking much (remember my brain to mouth pipeline a couple of posts ago?) I responded “around 8 to 8:30 minutes per mile." Then, later, I got thinking – which I’m apt to do – and realized that might be a tough target time for a new runner. But, her fault. She didn’t define “adequately” and I should never be consulted for advice. Anyone who knows me knows this.

25 comments:

Sun Runner said...

Three weeks to taper madness for me. I'll get there. I know I will.

That woman you "counseled" is going to collapse and die at the finish line of her first 5K, if she even makes it that far. I hope you can live with yourself, you jerk. Jeez. Swath of destruction, that's you.

nwgdc said...

Get in the 20 miler. If you don't your calves will REVOLT.

Second thought...skip it. I like reading about your failures.

Chad in the AZ Desert said...

You leave me nowhere to go with this post other than to say - get your 20-miler in!!!

Did that help??

Lauren said...

So you're saying watching "In the army now" doesn't qualify as marathon training? I think I've been going about this all wrong.

joyRuN said...

Get your 20-miler in on the mill.

That's still inadequate penance for leaving the old folks to clean up after you. And for telling someone to run that pace at a 5K - I can't hit that & I've been at this for a little while!

joyRuN said...

But if she does get that pace in, don't post about it - my fragile ego can't take it.

Spike said...

it's a good thing you got out of that room while the oldies were cleaning up, man will they try to shame you if you stick around. "ouch, my back went out," they moan.

do your 20, rain or no rain, it's not like they are going to show Jury Duty if it rains during the Flying Pig...

aron said...

good luck squeezing that last 20 miler in!! im glad mine is out of the way... although i'm not that exciting to be tapering either.

X-Country2 said...

Get Encino Man. It's Pauly's best work.

theloosemoose said...

I'm thrilled to know that after YEARS of running, I've made it into the "adequately good" category.
May God have mercy on your soul for your part in that woman's untimely demise.

theloosemoose said...

But what a dumb ass question, anyway. "Adequately good" for whom? Did she mean in general, which would be impossible to answer, or did she mean for her specific age and gender?

Silly civilians.

Mike said...

You know what bores me shitless? Listening to people whine about not getting their planned runs in, after posting on other people's blogs (http://boozehoundsinc.blogspot.com/2009/04/faulty-forecasting.html) that what bores them shitless is listening to people whine about not getting their planned runs in.

Kristina said...

Just think of the blog fodder that insanity brought on by 20 miles on the mill could get you. If you're lucky, your dog will come in to vomit on the belt to make it more interesting.

Marcy said...

Well did you kick the in-laws while they were down there? Would have been the perfect time. Don't tell me you didn't think of it. :P

Marlene said...

Aw, way to crush that lady's dreams!

You seem to negotiate the holidays like my husband... he always seems to be in 'the other room'... doing.... something?!

Now go run that 20 miles!

AddictedToEndorphins said...

20 miles on the hampster wheel hey? I thought you were amazing anyways...you don't have to show off...hit the streets--even if it means at 11pm...:)
Just be safe!

Jess said...

Haha wow dog puke....awkward.

Shannon said...

Nice blog!

BTW, I drink things in the morning that look like dog puke.

Lily on the Road said...

Poor puppy,

you could have politely asked that they remove their Medic Alert bracelets whilst cleaning up, just to keep the noise down. Some people have no respect! LOL...

Irish Cream said...

Hey, look at it this way . . . at least it was your dog who did the puking at the in-laws and not you! That is WAY more embarrassing . . . or so I hear.

Now get running! You've got a 20-miler to dominate ;)

Jess said...

Fair. She did not define "adequate." You were kind to give her "real person adequate" instead of "World Championship adequate."

Xenia said...

So did you run the 20, slacker?

Also thanks for making me feel completely inadequate..running wise. I ditto joyRuN's comments.

Al's CL Reviews said...

Your in-laws cleaned up after your dog? My dad gave me paper towels to clean up after my dogs outside (after I ran out of bags). Going to your ILs next year...

Marathon Maritza said...

You know your dog got into the Easter chocolate, right?

Also, I'm so relieved I fall into the 'adequately good time' for the 5K range...that's totally around my PR time. Phew!

Roisin said...

Is that like eating the yellow snow? No good...