Monday, September 15, 2008

Summer of Speed Post Mortem

It’s time to wrap a bow around the Summer of Speed 2008 and lay it at the feet of Dick “Runzilla” Beardsley for his approval…or scorn. In case you forgot what Runzilla looked like, here he is again in all of his Gu laser shooting, Heartbreak Hill stomping glory:

Give me back my calves!

The Detroit Marathon is just around the corner and my mind has once again drifted from fartleks and limbo runs to long runs and bowel cleansers. The time of year where even an ordinary bathroom trip seems like pre-race practice worthy of an entry in the training log (including a star rating system for “nut” and “corn” density.).

As summer closes, I need to review my Summer of Speed goals and assign myself a letter grade. You can click this link to read the original entry though I’ve included the goals below as I doubt many of you have the dexterity of independent index finger mouse action.


5k Goal: Sub 19:00
10k Goal: Actually run one. Oh, and break 41:00.
15k Goal: Probably won’t get to one of these this year so who’s foolin’ who?
10 Mile: Sub 1:10:00

So, how did I do? Unfortunately, I only actually ran two 5k’s this summer. The other times were measured against my Garmin during training runs. Funny thing about me, I love running but rarely enter races. Instead, I focus on only a few each year. Mostly this is because I’m cheap. But also because my weekends are filled with forced community volunteerism by local government officials due to what they call “misdemeanors”. Like I’m the first person to ever try to grab an officer’s gun!?

Recorded Times

5k Time: 18:30 measured at the Cherry Festival 5k. Status: Passed!
10k Time:
Never did run an official one though did Nancy’s 10k on the 10th virtual race. Unfortunately, I posted a 42:08. I should have been able to beat this, based on my 5k time, but didn’t bother to enter one so…. Status: Failed.
15k Goal: Didn’t run one as expected. Did record in a training run a 1:03:00 on the nose which would best my official PR by over 4 minutes. Status: Incomplete.
10 Mile: No race but 10 training miles recorded in 1:07:20. Status: Passed!

As promised, the love for my children has been replaced with the love of two age group awards. The awards have been named the same as my kids to help me keep things straight. In turn, my kids have been renamed Silver Medal and Coffee Cup.

In addition, for extra credit, I did wrestle three llamas, kicking two of their asses, hurl insults at dolphins and oak trees, and shoot fruit from my ass. I will now retire all three grudges and projectiles (unless a llama starts shit again in the future.)

Adding this all up (and grading on a curve due to the distraction my job continues to be), I’m going to give myself a Euclidean geometric grade of


I’ll take it. I was hoping for a Kronecker delta but sometimes our dreams are just out of our reach.

It’s been awhile. Let’s do a Summer of Speed closing ceremony haiku:

I pray thee Beardsley
For speed summer approval
All hail Runzilla

Happy trails.


The 20 miler has still not been completed. With the non stop torrential rain, I decided to use my time more wisely. That is, start construction on my Ark. I haven’t been successful in gathering the animals. I have one dog and one goldfish. I think I saw a mosquito as well. Still 38 days away though….

I will be out after work tonight for a mean 20!


This is my 200th post. I had planned an elaborate entry naming each and every one of you readers who have stopped by. But then I thought, why? Why would I go through all of that when most of you just stop by to ridicule me? So, screw you. 200 times.

Plus, I’m still getting over the unfortunate intersection of my 100th post and chosen title. Hindsight!


Vava said...

I continue to amaze at the level of attention given to bowel movements on running blogs. I thought this was confined to conversations amongst new parents! Perhaps my training is too short for this to be a major issue for me just yet... At least corn will be out of season shortly. Great racing/training times!

Sarah said...

I too was cowed by the level of precipitation both Saturday and Sunday, though I had more of an excuse on Saturday for bagging my 16-miler (Arbor Brewing Company Oktoberfest, followed by three beers at the Corner Brewery in Ypsilanti, followed by not going to bed until 1:30). I never did manage to get it in but I sure drank some quality beer to, uh, make up for it. I guess.

I think you should try for a Calabi-Yau manifold. Aim HIGH, man! All or nothing!

Xenia said...

You write your 200th post and it's not worthy of a title? What's the deal?

Pi is a good solid grade. I use it frequently in my work. I like it, I like it a lot.

Good luck with the post-work 20 miler. I do not envy you.

Marcy said...

Coffee Cup I like that. Maybe I'll have another and name it Port-A-Pot? Sexy, yes?

20 after work? Dude. Wow. Ohh wait never mind it's only going to take you a whole 1 hr to complete or something ridic fast like that (I have excellent math skills, I know LOL)

Marlene said...

Yeah, I couldn't tackle a 20-miler after work or I probably wouldn't be done before work the next day.

Good luck!

And happy 200th post...

Jeff said...

Pi? That's the best you could do? Guess it was too much to ask for something vaguely resembling normal.

I just love that love that eminates from every one of your posts. Wow, just gets me warm and fuzzy all over. I feel so screwed, 200 times!

Big said...

Coincidentally, the universally acknowledged gift for a 200th anniversary is an angry llama. True, sometimes there is too much rain, and we went early enough to avoid the downpour that inspired your ark. Just wondering, are your cabinet doors now acting as the hull on your new boat?

Meg said...

I never thought I'd see a Kronecker delta again...I didn't even know it had a name.
The rain was crazy this weekend, I didn't get my 12 miler in until this morning because of it. I figure a tornado touching down in the next town over is a good enough excuse to be lazy.
I you're dying to run a 15K, I got a postcard for this one, though it may be a little far for you:

tfh said...

Is pi a letter grade? Because I kind of thought pi was a number. Maybe I need to review my command of the English alphabet. No, I'd rather keep on searching for a race in which there are no other entrants in my age group, so I can win my coveted first child, er, age group award.

AddictedToEndorphins said...

Running 20 miles AFTER work..Okay. Have fun with that!

Happy 200! I don't come to ridicule, I come to laugh. You rocck:)

*aron* said...

good luck tonight! i cant imagine running that far after work, but then i run much slower than you :) hopefully the rain has stopped!!

great job on an awesome summer of speed!

Lily on the Road said...

Since Pi is a transcendental number, kudos to you!

Here I was all ready to wrap up a Llama to send to you for your 200th post, well, maybe for the 300 post, you might have your Ark built by then, happy hammering.

KimsRunning said...

My husband is hooked on your blog now too. The rule of the house is, he'd better read mine first or else!!!!

That marathon is soooo close. Butterflies in your tummy yet?????

Cindy said...

pi? wow. how many decimal places do you have that memorized to? and is that number higher or lower than your largest corn or nut count?

Roisin said...

20 miles? On a Monday? But...why? Aren't Mondays already bad enough...why tempt fate?

Blyfinn said...

Congrats on the goals. I must live in a pretty rural area due to I have never seen a flier for a 15K race around here. At least we got running water last month.

Ms. V. said...

Um. Okay, is like, the whole year over? You can't squeeze in a teeny tiny 10K somewhere?

I don't understand the Pi grade, but I do want to hear about colon-bowel cleansers.


If you work out after work, will you be running until 10PM? 20 miles? Jeez. You some serious runner!

Kristina said...

Oh dear God, I'm 23 posts shy of 500. I seem to be making up for a lack of quality with sheer quantity. Note to self: get life, pronto.

Danielle in Iowa said...

A Kronecker delta! I love it. And I sadly actually use Kronecker deltas in my every day life. How nerdy can I be?!

P.O.M. said...

You had me at "nut and corn density."

Good luck on your 20 miles AFTER work - crazy bastard. (I mean that in the nicest way)

Anonymous said...

I didn't understand what you meant by "the 20 miler".

Did you mean that as the "one and only 20 miler" before your marathon?

If so, enjoy your walk break on race day at the 19 mile sign.

Let's not try running this at race pace, Dick Beardsley would never approve.

joyRuN said...

It's 5pm EST - are you on your Monday post-work 20 miler? That in itself should be extra credit.


chia said...

Skirrrt of a little rain there Nitmos?

Frayed Laces said...

Thanks for the kind words. Maybe you should be a motivational speaker! Then again, maybe you should stick with what you're good at. What exactly is that, anyways?

Lisa Slow-n-Steady said...

20 miles after work is insane. Almost as crasy as receiving a grade of Pi.

thebets said...

Congrats on reaching your summer goals...and the 200th post.

Kevin said...

20 after work? Ouch! Better you then I.

Richard said...

Found your blog. I like it, and I wish I wrote better. Now I'm depressed.... Gotta Run.

Girl on Top said...

Great job on the 5K time. And what is this mess about bowel cleansing???!!!

Eric Gervase said...

Freakin hilarious... Needed that. Thanks.

Marci said...

Congrats on your 200th post! I think you did well with your goals. I found it inspiring so thanks.

nwgdc said...

What? Rain kept you from running? Come on! Just play it like me...expect to run 26, then call it quitsies at 10 because of some "rain."
No one will be the wiser!

Maggs said...

Hope your 20 went well. I love 20 mile runs...and I do them all the time after work (well not all the time, but when I do 20 mile runs, I do them on Mondays after's a good way to start the week). Congrats on getting those goals...and 200 posts!

sRod said...

A weekday 20-miler? Man, you're crazy. Congrats on the close of the SOS and on the 200 posts.

Non-Runner Nancy said...

I can hook you up with some lipstick that won't run (or come off for days).

This is definitely better than the 100th title. How embarrassing. :D

Reluctant Runner said...

A summative haiku. I approve.