Give me back my calves!
The Detroit Marathon is just around the corner and my mind has once again drifted from fartleks and limbo runs to long runs and bowel cleansers. The time of year where even an ordinary bathroom trip seems like pre-race practice worthy of an entry in the training log (including a star rating system for “nut” and “corn” density.).
As summer closes, I need to review my Summer of Speed goals and assign myself a letter grade. You can click this link to read the original entry though I’ve included the goals below as I doubt many of you have the dexterity of independent index finger mouse action.
5k Goal: Sub 19:00
10k Goal: Actually run one. Oh, and break 41:00.
15k Goal: Probably won’t get to one of these this year so who’s foolin’ who?
10 Mile: Sub 1:10:00
So, how did I do? Unfortunately, I only actually ran two 5k’s this summer. The other times were measured against my Garmin during training runs. Funny thing about me, I love running but rarely enter races. Instead, I focus on only a few each year. Mostly this is because I’m cheap. But also because my weekends are filled with forced community volunteerism by local government officials due to what they call “misdemeanors”. Like I’m the first person to ever try to grab an officer’s gun!?
5k Time: 18:30 measured at the Cherry Festival 5k. Status: Passed!
10k Time: Never did run an official one though did Nancy’s 10k on the 10th virtual race. Unfortunately, I posted a 42:08. I should have been able to beat this, based on my 5k time, but didn’t bother to enter one so…. Status: Failed.
15k Goal: Didn’t run one as expected. Did record in a training run a 1:03:00 on the nose which would best my official PR by over 4 minutes. Status: Incomplete.
10 Mile: No race but 10 training miles recorded in 1:07:20. Status: Passed!
As promised, the love for my children has been replaced with the love of two age group awards. The awards have been named the same as my kids to help me keep things straight. In turn, my kids have been renamed Silver Medal and Coffee Cup.
In addition, for extra credit, I did wrestle three llamas, kicking two of their asses, hurl insults at dolphins and oak trees, and shoot fruit from my ass. I will now retire all three grudges and projectiles (unless a llama starts shit again in the future.)
Adding this all up (and grading on a curve due to the distraction my job continues to be), I’m going to give myself a Euclidean geometric grade of
I’ll take it. I was hoping for a Kronecker delta but sometimes our dreams are just out of our reach.
It’s been awhile. Let’s do a Summer of Speed closing ceremony haiku:
I pray thee Beardsley
For speed summer approval
All hail Runzilla
The 20 miler has still not been completed. With the non stop torrential rain, I decided to use my time more wisely. That is, start construction on my Ark. I haven’t been successful in gathering the animals. I have one dog and one goldfish. I think I saw a mosquito as well. Still 38 days away though….
I will be out after work tonight for a mean 20!
This is my 200th post. I had planned an elaborate entry naming each and every one of you readers who have stopped by. But then I thought, why? Why would I go through all of that when most of you just stop by to ridicule me? So, screw you. 200 times.
Plus, I’m still getting over the unfortunate intersection of my 100th post and chosen title. Hindsight!