Randumbery IX

I used to run this semi regular feature called "Randumbness" about, as you would guess, various random and dumb things going on. It was a nice page filler. You thought you were getting actual carefully constructed content. Instead, you were getting fluff, filler, time wasters. I'm not saying this to foreshadow this post. I'm just saying the post title is Randumbery and if you can put 2 and 2 together....well, we'll both be pleasantly surprised at your cognitive skills.

A Runner is Born

Mrs. Nitmos is running her very first 5k this weekend! Sure, she was part of the Detroit Marathon relay last October and the distance of her leg was almost exactly the same as a 5k but this is the first actual end-to-end, start to finish race for her. She’ll get to experience the rush of the crowd at the start (i.e. assholes pushing and tripping you), the thrill of the aid stations (assholes dropping full cups of water that slosh up on your ankles), and the roar of the crowd (assholes that “cheer” you on by clanking cow bells in your traumatized ear). Like any runner’s first race, it’s expected to rain. Showers, in fact. Doesn’t it always? She’ll cross the finish line soaking wet and covered in the sticky slime of others runners’ tossed Gatorade cups. Just like a new born baby. Hopefully she doesn’t puke. The afterbirth is my least favorite part of watching a newborn runner emerge.

Where Have All The White Race Shirts Gone?

I have a beef with race directors. When I started signing up for races 10 years ago, pretty much every race shirt came in white. This was good. It saved me an annual trip to JcPenney to purchase a package of undershirts. Instead, I acquired them slowly through-out the year at a less-than-economical price of $15-$30 per shirt. They came in super handy. Nobody suspected that the white collar ring exposed under my covering long sleeve shirt or dress shirt or Granimals was actually not pure white. That gravy train has ended.

Now, when I sign up for a race, I’m usually presented a bright red or orange or – gasp! – hot pink race shirt. I can’t wear those under anything other than my Granimals. I know race directors want their shirt to stand out from the crowd but, if everyone puts bright colors on their shirt, then, really, haven’t you really defeated the purpose? It’s like when a few men started having sex with Paris Hilton in the 90’s and then everyone did it, it really didn’t make you unique anymore. Just douchey. I fear race shirts are following the same trend.

My last few white race shirts are developing holes. Bring back the white race shirts! Or my next boring, mannequin-exposed trip into JcPenney is on your shoulders. And if I come out there with a pair of Dockers as well, I’m going to be pissed.

To Trail Ultra or Not To Trail Ultra

I just can’t pull the trigger on the Dances with Dirt 50k trail ultramarathon. Is it because the web site seems to go out of its way to warn you against doing it? (A curious strategy by a race director (probably another bright colored shirt guy too.)) I’ve talked to people who have done it and it doesn’t sound as bad as they like to claim. Although one Steers LDP member who does the relay has had the course markers moved on him causing some extra “lost” running until he found his way back to the course.

I’m all up for an adventure. I’m just not sure I want to be cradled by a bear by the light of the moon after several hours of searching for the marked trail. Or, worse yet, have a wolf use my exposed rib cage as a den for its wolfettes.

T.W.S.S.

My colt started middle school this year. They start in 6th grade around these parts which I tend to think is a little young. Case in point: He’s starting to understand the sexual innuendo he hears on TV but….not, really. He just knows something is supposed to be funny.

He comes bopping downstairs earlier this week telling me Michael from The Office said that he was “going to sleep long and hard on it” and Dwight responded with “That’s what she said.”

My colt thinks this is funny. My filly, a second grader, asks “What’s funny about that?” and he sneers, “You just don’t get it.”

And then I’m thinking do you get it? Because, if you did, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be casually retelling the joke to your Dad. At least, I hope not. Keep that stuff hidden away from your parents like it’s supposed to be. Ignorance is bliss.

He’ll learn that the hard way. (t.w.s.s.)

Happy trails.
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11.5 miles @ 7 minute pace yesterday.

Long run of 15 this weekend followed by a final long, long run of 21 miles sometime midweek next week. Taper begins a few days early as Mrs. Nitmos and I have big weekend plans next weekend!