Friday, April 30, 2010

Randumbery IX

I used to run this semi regular feature called "Randumbness" about, as you would guess, various random and dumb things going on. It was a nice page filler. You thought you were getting actual carefully constructed content. Instead, you were getting fluff, filler, time wasters. I'm not saying this to foreshadow this post. I'm just saying the post title is Randumbery and if you can put 2 and 2 together....well, we'll both be pleasantly surprised at your cognitive skills.

A Runner is Born

Mrs. Nitmos is running her very first 5k this weekend! Sure, she was part of the Detroit Marathon relay last October and the distance of her leg was almost exactly the same as a 5k but this is the first actual end-to-end, start to finish race for her. She’ll get to experience the rush of the crowd at the start (i.e. assholes pushing and tripping you), the thrill of the aid stations (assholes dropping full cups of water that slosh up on your ankles), and the roar of the crowd (assholes that “cheer” you on by clanking cow bells in your traumatized ear). Like any runner’s first race, it’s expected to rain. Showers, in fact. Doesn’t it always? She’ll cross the finish line soaking wet and covered in the sticky slime of others runners’ tossed Gatorade cups. Just like a new born baby. Hopefully she doesn’t puke. The afterbirth is my least favorite part of watching a newborn runner emerge.

Where Have All The White Race Shirts Gone?

I have a beef with race directors. When I started signing up for races 10 years ago, pretty much every race shirt came in white. This was good. It saved me an annual trip to JcPenney to purchase a package of undershirts. Instead, I acquired them slowly through-out the year at a less-than-economical price of $15-$30 per shirt. They came in super handy. Nobody suspected that the white collar ring exposed under my covering long sleeve shirt or dress shirt or Granimals was actually not pure white. That gravy train has ended.

Now, when I sign up for a race, I’m usually presented a bright red or orange or – gasp! – hot pink race shirt. I can’t wear those under anything other than my Granimals. I know race directors want their shirt to stand out from the crowd but, if everyone puts bright colors on their shirt, then, really, haven’t you really defeated the purpose? It’s like when a few men started having sex with Paris Hilton in the 90’s and then everyone did it, it really didn’t make you unique anymore. Just douchey. I fear race shirts are following the same trend.

My last few white race shirts are developing holes. Bring back the white race shirts! Or my next boring, mannequin-exposed trip into JcPenney is on your shoulders. And if I come out there with a pair of Dockers as well, I’m going to be pissed.

To Trail Ultra or Not To Trail Ultra

I just can’t pull the trigger on the Dances with Dirt 50k trail ultramarathon. Is it because the web site seems to go out of its way to warn you against doing it? (A curious strategy by a race director (probably another bright colored shirt guy too.)) I’ve talked to people who have done it and it doesn’t sound as bad as they like to claim. Although one Steers LDP member who does the relay has had the course markers moved on him causing some extra “lost” running until he found his way back to the course.

I’m all up for an adventure. I’m just not sure I want to be cradled by a bear by the light of the moon after several hours of searching for the marked trail. Or, worse yet, have a wolf use my exposed rib cage as a den for its wolfettes.

T.W.S.S.

My colt started middle school this year. They start in 6th grade around these parts which I tend to think is a little young. Case in point: He’s starting to understand the sexual innuendo he hears on TV but….not, really. He just knows something is supposed to be funny.

He comes bopping downstairs earlier this week telling me Michael from The Office said that he was “going to sleep long and hard on it” and Dwight responded with “That’s what she said.”

My colt thinks this is funny. My filly, a second grader, asks “What’s funny about that?” and he sneers, “You just don’t get it.”

And then I’m thinking do you get it? Because, if you did, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be casually retelling the joke to your Dad. At least, I hope not. Keep that stuff hidden away from your parents like it’s supposed to be. Ignorance is bliss.

He’ll learn that the hard way. (t.w.s.s.)

Happy trails.
________________________________

11.5 miles @ 7 minute pace yesterday.

Long run of 15 this weekend followed by a final long, long run of 21 miles sometime midweek next week. Taper begins a few days early as Mrs. Nitmos and I have big weekend plans next weekend!

17 comments:

Al's CL Reviews said...

My husband noticed the same ting about the race shirts.

Good luck to Mrs Nitmos on the 5K!

Sun Runner said...

If you're going to be on site for the Heart of a Spartan, keep an eye out for me. I'll be the one wearing the "Michigan Alumni" T-shirt (visible here).

big weekend plans next weekend!

Isn't that...redundant? ;)

Adam said...

I tried long and hard (t.w.s.s.) to not read this post in fear of some sort of nitmos overload. two posts in one week?

I'm actually bucking the trend - I have a drawer FULL of white race shirts and I love it when they have colored ones. Hell, I'll even throw on a pink one.

TCHusker - Nate said...

Do the 50k. Any schmuck can run a marathon but most people don't even know how far a 50k is. Heck, half the people you brag to will probably think a "k" is a mile--y'know, those same people who ask you how far your marathon is going to be.

aron said...

do the 50k!!!!

we are running THE RELAY this weekend and our team name is "thats what she said" because you know, we will be going all night long.

we have never ending phrases ;)

BrianFlash said...

I agree completely on the white shirts. I only have a couple white undershirts for when those light colored dress shirts come out of the drawer - otherwise, that so called white tee could have almost anything on it.

Robin said...

so glad you're back to regular posting. I hated finding other ways to waste work time!

B.o.B. said...

Quit your bitching and get some Hanes. I like the fancy new race shirts. :)

Good luck to Mrs. Nitmos. I hope she kicks butt!

Viper said...

I really wish the small races would stop giving out shoddy "technical" shirts. Give me a cotton T-shift with a simple, but attractive design. My papa has all these great simple (and white too) race T-shirts from a decade ago that look so much better than those available today. (Sorry, I'm not nearly as old as you are.)

Vava said...

I can't wait until my boys get the shirt we once had designed for our Ultimate Frisbee team. The logo was a clam and a beaver laying for the disc. The team name? Nice Snatch.

In other news I recently recognized the hilarity of one Albert Pujols' last name. My eight year old gets that one, you can count on it...

Good luck to the newborn!

Ace said...

Aim the gun at your head, THEN pull the trigger on the 50k. Pretty much the same effect. In other words, do it.

elizathon said...

My 7-year-old has picked up on the t.w.s.s. trend from my teenager and tweener who constantly say it. But my 7-old-old, having absolutely NO clue what it means, says it after everything, just my basic innocuous requests like "Get your shoes on" or "Get ready to read your book before bed!"

Psyche said...

Good luck Mrs. Nitmos!

I agree about the shirts. My last 3shirts have been BLACK. Good thinking guys, just in time for the summer heat wave:)

You heard it here first- WHITE COTTON T-SHIRT GIVEAWAY on Monday.

P.S.: DO the 50K!!!!

Julie said...

Go for it!! You can totally do this 50K!! Good luck to Mrs. Nitmos for her 5K this weekend:)

Detroit has Greek Town with all of those awesome dining places:) Also, I loved all of the jazz/blues clubs...God, I miss it!!

Have a great weekend!

Jess said...

Go Mrs. Nitmos!

Loved the story about your Colt. Ha!

Xenia said...

The few race t-shirts I have gotten have all been white. So obviously the answer to your dilemma is to move to Europe.

Danielle in Iowa in Seattle said...

White shirts are evil! First, they are totally not flattering on me. Second, they are often see through-ish, which is an issue for the ladies. how about we do a trade? I'll send you all the white shirts I get and you send me all the non-white shirts you get?