Rocko

I have to admit that I wanted to get another post out here as soon as possible. That photo in my last post is increasingly giving me the willies. I don’t mind if it gives you the willies but me? That will not do. We are all into German thong erotica, I know, but there’s an essence in that photo that leaps off the page and threatens to haunt our dreams. Besides, it took me several months to pry the eastern European traffic off of this blog when I posted a picture of someone with Hello Kitty band-aids on his nipples back in 2008. Well, welcome back eastern Europeans!

I think my favorite part of that photo – and we all have a favorite part, no? – is the interesting choices the photographer made. It’s almost as if he said “Rocko, we are going to take some chances here today. Nothing is TOO embarrassing for you. Your humiliation can know no bounds. What I’m after is for the straps to sling over your shoulder as if they were tree branches and you jumped into a Speedo from a higher branch and are hanging there with an increasingly violent wedgie all the while sporting a mustache and an indifferent ‘come hither’ gaze.” Almost there! Work it…work it. Now tilt your head and pretend you don’t look totally ridiculous. Got it! Click.

At first, I thought it was just a creepy, funny picture of an old dude. But now I’m starting to see the photographer’s vision here. Notice how the thong straps run just outside of the areaola and the watch face points directly at the camera. The straps could have easily concealed the mipples…but didn’t. Why? It’s almost as if the photographer is forcing us to confront our inhibitions by juxtaposing them with the constantly moving watch hand, or “time”. We may get older…we may start doing things we regret to pay our rent at the retirement village…but we are never comfortable with an elderly man in a thong wedgie gazing suggestively at a camera. No matter the time. No matter the era. There’s a lot of layers of seductiveness in that photo. Ladies, feel free to peel them back and analyze. Plus, as an added bonus, if you stare at it long enough, it works like the video from the movie The Ring but, in this case, your soul merges with Rocko’s thong and becomes part of the thong-soul-quilt. Get your reservations in early, I suggest, or you might not get a good seat, if you know what I mean.

But this IS a running blog so I guess we should turn our attention away from disturbing seniors with ass floss and to the sport we all know and love. To that end, my five miler yesterday was the most carefree of the early year. A thaw has melted most of the running paths around here. Very little ice. I started at 7:18 pace and worked down mile by mile to a 6:32 pace before calling it a day. It was so nice to run without Yaktrax and without multiple layers that I just might go out for 6-7 more miles today too.

The uncharacteristically mild weather lately has made me dream of an early spring. Of blooming flowers and runs in shorts sans hat and gloves. Of dehydration and long run calve cramping. In short, a chance for me to break out my purple Speedo and run free again.

Guten Tag!