Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Basement

So about that blog….

Things have changed around the Nitmos basement.* You may have noticed that I don’t blog much anymore. Maybe it’s the cobwebs and lingering smell of water leaks past rotting my brain. Or maybe it’s the instant access to my extensive cereal collection. Whatever, the ole blog has settled in somewhere south of dog walking and Yes, Dear reruns on the list of work distractions.

In the office, things were beige. And boring. The only link to anything non-work related was the interwebs. Somehow, Blogger had escaped their tight fisted site clamp down. So, being a man incapable of concentrating on anything for longer than 4 ½ minutes at a time, this blog and its compatriots were a perfect match. I make you laugh. I chuckle awkwardly at your feeble attempts to make me laugh. Then, I click away and bound down the distraction superhighway to the next destination all the while surrounded in beige and the distant murmur of interoffice conversation.

But the dynamic has changed now.

The beige is gone. The walls are a shade called “marble pedestal” which, I think, suits me perfectly, no? ** My dog sleeps at my feet as I work. I smell basement mold instead of Cube Farter’s ass burps.***

It’s too quiet in the basement so I’ve taken to flipping on the TV for background noise. The TV is behind me so, unless I twist around, I can’t actually see what is on. But I hear the not-so-distant murmur of flimsy plot development…with a laugh track. The channel of choice? Why TBS, of course. All of the 90’s classics! My new office is filled with Zack, Screech and Slater from Saved By The Bell, The Fresh Prince, Greg and Kim of Yes, Dear, Raymond and his crazy mother that Everybody Loves, The King of Queens and his bitchy wife, and baritone-voiced Bill Kurtis telling me about various American Mysteries (this is on A & E but I’m allowed one channel change.)

Now, through-out the day, I learn valuable life lessons served to me in bite-size comedic one liners lasting no more than 23 minutes….unless Zack drinks and drives, in which case it may require two episodes for us to reach the climatic moral.

In short, what I’m saying is that blogging is no longer my primary time suckage. I run. I dog walk. I eat cereal at odd hours. I listen to bad TV. You’ve all been replaced by Yes, Dear. And you, over there lurking but never commenting, you’ve been replaced by According to Jim. And Vanilla? He’s Robert from Raymond…which makes me Raymond.

Because, as we know, everybody loves Nitmos.

Happy trails.

* office
** If you don’t have an image of me as Discobolus ready to throw, then you haven’t been reading this blog for very long. You have lots of homework.
*** Which is a draw I think. I sometimes miss his game of Guess My Lunch.

_________________________________

Race update. I’m swirling with emotions right now. I’m a cyclone of disappointment and relief. You see, I had every intention of running the 2010 Boston Marathon…in my heart. But my head – and more importantly, my wallet – have been warring over the idea for months. I’ve dumped lots of family cash into running over the last few years and I was hoping to squeeze out one more big expense. If only the mean ole bankers weren’t in charge of the world….

Through apathy, the decision was made for me that I will not be doing Boston next spring. Registration has closed. I’ve known it was coming but I chose inaction. Which is a bit passive aggressive no? So, I’m relieved that the battle within is over. I will save money. My banker will be happy. Disappointed I am (in Yoda speak) at the conclusion. However, I think it’s probably the decision I think is best at this time.

But there will be other years…another Boston down the road.

20 comments:

Jamoosh said...

You do realize that every 90's sitcom was a rehash of a 70's afterschool special - don't you?

Spike said...

dibs on Carlton!

Xenia said...

I knew you'd been sucked in by daytime tv! Though, admittedly, I thought it was of the Oprah/Springer variety. Eh, close enough.

Marlene said...

I was wondering what was up!

Sorry to hear about Boston, but hopefully it was for the best. There WILL be another.

Vanilla said...

Yes, I believe you do have that nasally Raymond voice.

KimsRunning said...

When my son was 2, he pointed at the tv while Everybody Loves Raymond was on and said MOMMY!!!! It was Deborah...haha!!

Sorry to hear about Boston. You'll catch it next time. Heartbreak Hill isn't going anywhere!

Kristina said...

Weep. Thank you for this "very special episode" of FMS. Is it sweeps or something? Guess we'll see the next new blog post in what, 8 weeks?

Morgan said...

Maybe it's time for a THS - F.M.S. Edition where we get a recap of your glory days followed by the devastating reality that has become you... the dog walking, cereal eating, wind pants wearing, child embaressing, work at home dad. Who knows, it might even land you on one of those reality shows and then the real fun can begin.

But seriously, enough excuses. The blog world needs to know whether or not you still have perfect pecs of if the wind still blows your hair just so...

X-Country2 said...

Can I be Kelly Kapowski? I loved her big hair and shorty shorts.

Adam said...

Are you sure it isn't the carbon monoxide talking in this post? Maybe radon....Or some sort of colorless gas. Because no one would choose to watch that much TBS.

Crazy how you are actually MORE busy when you work from home.

Jess said...

There's always a different year for Boston. So glad to hear we've all been replaced with old TV reruns.

aron said...

what about full house? thats my favorite part of going home for lunch :)

stupid boston - but yes it was a slight relief to know that even if (when) i do get my BQ in dec i wont have to turn around and make some rushed plans to get there. it will still be there in 2011 :)

Reluctant Runner said...

So you're saying our comments can't be as stupid and mind-numbing as daytime television reruns? I'm insulted.

And Boston? You've been there and done that. And will go there and do that again in the future without a doubt.

Shannon said...

Still lurking, reading, & commenting.....whenever and about whatever. Now put your cereal down and blog about something. :)

Jeff said...

Please, never mention "Yes, Dear" again. ugh.

Jess said...

Boston did the exact same thing to me! I was trying to decide if I could afford it and figured I had until February or so to register, but noooo. I hope it rains.

The Laminator said...

I think Boston is turning snobby...it thinks it's too good for us...

Well, I'm turning my nose on Boston and saying I'm too good for it, so there...

Makes me and my wallet feel a little better that I proscrastinated and missed the deadline...

Danielle in Iowa said...

Oh, how I love me some TBS. I haven't had a TV since March and TBS is what I miss the most, despite having already seen every episode of Saved by The Bell AND Yes Dear.

I'm an addict. I can't help myself. If someone would implant TBS behind my eyelids so I could watch all day, I totally would. Even the random movies they play in the 10am time slot.

Al's CL Reviews said...

I love daytime TV.

Although I got sucked into Law and Order, and Charmed.

sRod said...

I was wonderign where you went. As long as you don't stoop to the level of Game Show Network, all shall be forgiven.