It’s Monday and while everyone is sulking in their coffee and looking to F.M.S. to brighten their day (you do this right?) I thought I’d stimulate your 5 senses with, well, me. If you think this sounds frightening, wait ‘til we get to Taste.
Here’s a comparative study of two different 5k finishes. My last two 5k finishes in fact. Besides the shirt, you can barely detect any difference right down to the smarmy look on my face. I’m feeling generous today so I didn’t steal the photos from the photographers web site. You’ll have to do the clicking yourself. But, remember, you get to see me so it’s worth it!
Here’s me checking my pulse in 5k finish #1.
Here’s me checking my pulse in 5k finish #2.
See why I don’t buy race photos anymore? How many pictures of myself stopping Garmin do I need?
There’s another podcast up for Banned on the Run, episode 2. More talk of loosely running related topics. Believe it or not, we are trying to get better so bare with us as we refine the format. They say a team is only as good as its weakest member. Anchors aweigh! We’ll keep dragging him through the sand! We need some feedback from you though. Constructive feedback. Or actionable slander. Either way is fine for us. Leave some comments at the podcast home. If you think we would take offense (we would) and you don’t want to leave your name (coward) go ahead and leave anonymous comments. At the very least, that would take us a few extra minutes to track the comment back to your server. But there would always be that unknown as to whether we matched the comment to the correct person, so rest easy. We could never prove definitively that you are the Class A jackhole.
This is where things get weird. I’m sending coded messages through your computer. If you place your fingertips on either side of your monitor and repeat “All hail Nitmos” over and over again (alternate saying available: “Death to llamas”) you’ll eventually receive a transmission directly into your brain. You can take a little of me home with you. Here’s the scrambled transmission I’m sending but, if you decipher it visually, you’ll never let me inside your head like a viral Trojan horse.
EB RUSE OT RDNKI ORUY LETOIVAN
The folks at POM Wonderful sent me some of their 100% pomegranate juice to check out. I won’t bore you with another review as we’ve seen them everywhere. I will say however that one of the many benefits they promote is that regular drinkers are 50% more likely to experience erectile improvement. I gave an audible Hrmpf at that. Me and erectile improvement? That’s like saying Michelangelo’s Statue of David needed a few extra lumps of clay. And what about the ladies? Do you shop for juice based on erectile improvement rating? But whatever. I’ve been drinking it for the past several mornings. It tastes pretty good. Hard to say if I feel healthier but I sure don’t feel worse. Truth be told, it has seemed to promote a nice early morning bowel cleansing. My Ex Lax is going in the garbage. Which brings us to….
Nah, I won’t do that to you. You know I like to keep things high brow around here. A poop joke is just too easy. Besides, I’ve already covered that in the well worn Cube Farter story.
I’ve hidden a few scratch and sniff spots all over this site. Go ahead scratch and then sniff your monitor. You’ll be surprised at what you smell. I’m not going to tell you where to scratch – that ruins the fun for me and everyone sitting near you – but you might want to check out those race photos again. Ever wonder what I smell like as I cross the finish line? Three distinct odors. See if you can pick them all out. One of them rhymes with 'bale feese'.
Now that you’ve gotten to know me so much better, probably time for a shower. Then, shots.