Friday, March 30, 2012

We Are Doing This

Where’ve I been? I can tell by the many cards, letters, and strip-o-grams I received that you’ve all been very concerned that I haven’t checked in for two weeks. I mean, who leaves a picture of a marmoset up on their blog for that long? Crazy, right?

Unfortunately, I don’t have an exotic excuse to explain my absence. There are still the same number of orphans in the world that there was two weeks ago. The ASPCA animals are still walking all one-eyed and limpy. Heck, outside of a few highly insulted strip-o-gram strippers – turnabout is fair play, right? – the world is pretty much how I left it.

The fact is that my job tends to get busier at quarter end. And, no, despite what Mrs. Nitmos says, I am not an accountant. This quarter was particularly busy. So If I disappear again at the end of June, September and December, you'll know why. Tell your friends and families that I don’t need the cards and letters.* I always wondered what it would be like to be one of those people who said they were busy…and actually were. Weird. I don’t like it. I prefer the challenge of filling up my project time sheet with invented tasks. It’s my one chance each week to create pure fiction.

Though my real world has interfered with my bloggy world, there are still a few things worth noting in RazZian bullet point style:

· I learned a new word. It is German. It is spectacular. It will change your life. At least, it will change the way you view breakfast foods. In fact, I will create an entire feature length blog post about it soon enough. Prepare to be blown away. Also, prepare to spend $19.95 on the t-shirts.

· As I’ve mentioned several times (i.e. ad nauseam), my kids are deep into the world of competitive youth soccer. They don’t really want to play; we force them. Our weekends usually involve an hour drive east to watch 4-6 soccer games and an hour drive home. Maybe repeating it on Sunday. Normally, the parents are on their best behavior…until last weekend. I watched in bemused horror as sideline cheering turned into pointed comments back and forth which them developed into a chest-to-chest confrontation complete with a shouted “ARE WE DOING THIS?” Awesome. This was over a non-call on a slide tackle. I’ve long felt that, as America builds its soccer programs, the area we’ve been lagging is the full on European style soccer brawl. Unfortunately, no punches were thrown and the situation was diffused. We’re still learning how to properly view soccer.

· In the same game, my son jabbed his left leg between a rampaging forwards legs to poke check the ball away and ended up with a partially, temporarily dislocated knee cap: leg brace, sore ligaments, two weeks on the pine…which coincide with the two week Spring Break. But, alas, it could have been worse.

· To further prove my statement that my blog and running are completely disconnected (I continually read others that don’t blog when not running or feel they need to blog in order to keep up with the running), I‘ve hit all of my planned runs and am rounding into shape - even without updating this blog. Go figure. And that shape I'm rounding into is: not so round, more angular, and loaded with pointed scowls. In other words, I’m starting to re-develop my spring/summer anorexic gauntness! Others around me feel I “need to eat a cheeseburger”. I must be getting back into shape!

· My plantar fasciitis is still being present. I’ve molested the racquetball quite a bit – which has helped tremendously – but I think I over did it at the track on Tuesday. I will keep running though because that’s what I do.

· Finally, enjoy this GIF of a stumbling, bumbling Rollerblading Raptor mascot FAIL. Don’t we all just have days like this?

Did you note the pathetic drooping of the tail at the end? Now, re-watch it 150 times like I did and see if you are still laughing just as hard. Don’t forget to vote in SB Nation’s animated GIF competition.

Happy trails.

*But I prefer naughty nurse strip-o-grams. A parking meter attendant? Seriously?


Elizabeth said...

OMG can I just tell you that I laughed so hard at this video. My 9-year-old is the one who showed it to me and we could NOT stop laughing. Ah good times, good times. I am glad I teach my daughter such valuable life lessons like laughing at others' misfortune.

Sun Runner said...

That was one of the funniest things I have seen in a LONG time. The same goes for the Sports GIF March Madness. Holy crap. Way to liven up my workday.

I'm wondering if I should be excited or offended that "Mortified Michigan Punter" is in the final matchup?

Beth (i run like a girl) said...

Maybe we need to put roller blades on the angry soccer parents in the stands? Imagine the viral video potential!!!

PS - You need a veggie burger. :-b

Viper said...

That's not a GIF. Welcome back. Cheers!

Yo Momma Runs said...

Your soccer league seems a lot cooler than mine. We just have the occasional person who talks so much that you can't get out of a conversation no matter how many times you look away. I would much rather fight someone.

Kirk said...

Oh man! That video gets funnier the more I watch it! Thanks for the laugh.

Char said...

I did the soccer thing for years. Three sons - two matches each per weekend and if you were lucky they competed in a tournament which involved at least a month's worth of matches in a 9 hour period. Silly thing is that I miss it now. One of my sons still plays thank goodness but it's not the same as a whole weekend filled with crazed manic parents and incompetent refereeing and bad coffee.

Danielle in Iowa in Seattle said...

The tail droop? Totally the bomb.

Nick said...

I have not been around lately...I hope to be more. It's not you it's me! Hope all is well. Peace out Nitmos!

drea said...

Great! I can't wait to see that new shape run some times :) And you just reminded me I have to sign up my son again.... argh soccer.