Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Randumbery Hearts NY

I used to run this semi regular feature called "Randumbness" about, as you would guess, various random and dumb things going on. It was nice page filler. You thought you were getting actual carefully constructed content. Instead, you were getting fluff, filler, time wasters. I'm not saying this to foreshadow this post. I'm just saying the post title is Randumbery and if you can put 2 and 2 together....well, we'll both be pleasantly surprised at your cognitive skills.

How ‘bout we start the New Year off with another lame round of Randumbery?!

New Year’s Eve and Lazy Eyes

When you have kids, you find yourself doing things you’d otherwise never do. First among those is wiping someone else’s ass. Second among those is trying to convince a six year old that the bowl hair cut they just received – and Daddy got for $4.95! – looks GREAT! Even when the kids grow up a bit, as mine have, and the ass wiping and $4.95 bowl cuts are no longer possible, there are still compromises along life’s Road of Coolness you thought you’d be traveling.

All of this carefully worded pre-explanation is to try to justify why we spent New Year’s Eve in a bowling alley. But there we were on the evening of the 31st of December. Sure, we had accomplices: Another couple and their two kids also took the off ramp from Cool Highway into the Cherry HellHill Lanes in Southeastern Michigan. The eight off us spent the evening wearing clown shoes, throwing polished rocks at bright white immobile penguins, and counting the lazy eyes amongst the other patrons. I’m convinced that the ratio of lazy eyes to normal eyes at a bowling alley is 1:3. I believe we stumbled upon the Midwest’s largest collection of bowling alley lazy eyes this side of Super Walmart. But it does pass the time speculating on the degree of the lazy….I think I saw a full fledged 90 degreer two lanes down!

Of course, this whole evening was made easier by bowling alley beer. They still serve Blatz on tap? Who knew? And, yes, I finally broke 100 by the third game. And, yes, I’m on antibiotics for my foot herpes.

Who Has Two Thumbs and Hearts the New York City Marathon?

This guy!

Who has two thumbs and sat at his computer on January 2nd at noon to be among the first people to register even though he’s supposed to have an automatic qualification?

This guy!

Who has two thumbs and is entirely too eager to fork over $250 to slowly kill myself across 5 Burroughs?

This guy!

Who has two thumbs and made room reservations two months ago in anticipation of his race?

This guy!

Who has one finger and an angry disposition vented frequently on this lightly read blog if, for some reason, he doesn’t gain entry?

NY, you don’t want to find out. Do the right thing.


That’s the percentage of your daily vitamin B12 amount inside a single serving of a product called Zipfizz sent to me for a product review. 41,667%? Yeah, that seems about right, I guess. Anything less than 40,000% and I’m sluggish.

I haven’t had a chance to use and review it yet. That 41,667 number keeps bouncing around my brain. The Zipfizz folks claim that there’s no toxicity in taking that much B12. I confirmed that you can’t “overdose” on B12 through a few other medical websites so….I guess I’ll try it sometime.

With so much B12, after one serving, by my calculation, that means I won’t have to take more B12 for 416 days – or until about March 1st, 2013 if I took some today. So I’d have that going for me…which is nice. But by March of 2013, ho boy look out, I’ll be jonesing for some B12.

Stay tuned for a Zipfizz review. I’ll post one with or without my liver.

Running, Sans Pants

I’m not knocking the weather around here. It’s been a weird mid-winter Goreian 40 degrees here lately. No snow and sunny in spots for two weeks and for the coming few days. In January. In Michigan. I haven’t picked up my shovel since mid-December.

I’ve been running without pants!*

I’m not knocking the weather but I’m sure as shit knocking on wood.

Happy trails.

* No pants but shorts. It’s still too cold for my flippety flop to be left exposed. Ever hear of a “blue helmet”? No, and there’s a reason for that.


Jamoosh said...

250.00? Damn. I am glad I have no visions of granduer or greatness or any other "G" words.

Elizabeth said...

I registered for NY on Jan 2 too! but I am going through the supplication door for my registration not the VIP door like you are.

I told my husband, "I am putting my name in the lottery for NY!"

"How much does that cost?" he asked.

"Only 11 dollars!" I say...and then mumbled "...and then another $255.00 if I make the lottery..."

"What?" he asked.

"I said 2 out of 5 people make the lottery," I replied.

"I can't believe NY only costs 11 dollars," he answered.

Jill said...

I couldn't believe when I read the registration for NY shot up to $255 this year, 60 over last. I guess it'll still fill up, there are people like you out there afterall! :)

I'd love to see the color of your urine after a can of Zipfizz. Hope you post some pics!

Xenia said...

I spent Christmas in Chicago this year and I saw a guy running in a tiny pair of shorts, no shirt. He was a lovely physical specimen, but obviously also a complete dipshit because that windchill was pretty nippy.

Viper said...

I run in solidarity without pants. So far only shorts this winter. Thank goodness for my ThermaJock. I don't want a blue helmet. Cheers!

Running Through Phoenix said...


How random, this post. And d..... oh

Sun Runner said...

I spent New Year's Eve running a 5K. Now who's lame?

NYC is worth every penny. Most fun I've ever had in a race.

Drea said...

When do you hear about NYC? Bowling is awesome by the way- no shame unless you did not eat nachos and then tisk tisk. Sans pants? I just had that dream. But you weren't in it.

Jess Milcetich said...

NYC is one of those marathons I'd like to do one day, but man I'm not looking forward to that entry fee. By the time I decide to do it I'm sure it will cost something like $500

Beth said...

I had to let my NY Marathon entry go. Congrats on your entry and I know you will have a great time. We were running in shorts 2 days ago and now it's going to be -17 wind chill in the morning. Enjoy the good weather while you can.