Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Five Knuckle Shuffle

You know what? I don’t need your dirty minds around here. You can just leave.

I’m talking all serious today. I have knuckle troubles. What would you call a post in which you discuss your knuckles? Knuckle Under? Knuckle Kerfuffle? Knuckle Fuckle? See? What I came up with isn’t so bad now is it?

If embarking on the last year of my 30’s while simultaneously attempting to set PR’s in every race while treading dangerously close to the over training line isn’t enough stress, my body – normally a model for off-color bachelorette party masculine soaked greeting cards (think cowboy hat and holster and nothing else) – is starting to revolt. Hip bones? Puh-leeze, they’ve stopped agreeing with my weekend long runs a few months back. Forget sleep Sunday night. A few Advil and some Biofreeze works for awhile then, it’s tossing and turning the rest of the night. Sore hips and side sleepers don’t go together. Who has Propofol? Paging Dr. Murray.

Now, the knuckles, of all things, have taken their turn to express their displeasure. I wake up every morning over the last several weeks with at least five knuckles swollen and painful to bend. After a nice, hot shower, much of the swelling goes away. But, what the hell? I’m 39 not 59 or 69 or 79. The joints shouldn’t be swelling up yet. I like to think that my knuckles are merely reacting to the years of bar brawling I like to pretend I’ve done. That sounds cool. It’s like when I get an in grown toenail and limp around the house telling the family that my foot “is flaring up over all the ass I’ve kicked.”

Fortunately, my knuckles aren’t needed to run…no matter how many times I’ve been called a ‘Neanderthal’ and asked if ‘I get grass stains on those knuckles.’ So, the training goes on…

Sunday’s 17 mile long run was completed haiku style.

Long run broken down
Five seven five segments each
Seventeen miles done!

That’s three segments of 5 miles, 7 miles, 5 miles with a Gu and water break between each for you knuckleheads not familiar with (irregular) haiku. (I know I didn’t have a seasonal reference.) I enjoyed making a normal run into an expression of Japanese poetry. I felt really international…like when I watch Gung Ho on TNT.

I’ve been cracking my knuckles all morning trying to come up with a way to do an Iambic pentameter run for this weekend’s 18 miler. Don’t worry, I’ve got the Dirty Limerick style run covered.

But it’s really this knuckle swelling that has me vexed. What could it be? Am I arthritic between the hours of 4 AM to 9 AM only? This wouldn’t be entirely unusual for me as I’m known to be extraordinary between the hours of 9 AM to midnight. After midnight, I revert to slightly above average for a few hours.

I’d like to figure this one out…so then I can move along and solve my Rosy Palm problem.

Happy trails.

Sunday = 17 miles @ smooth 7:13 pace.

The week ahead:

Today = 5.5 miles with 3 x 800.
Thursday = 8.5 miles
Saturday = 18 miles
Sunday = No sleep Saturday night.


Viper said...

Keep cracking those knuckles. I'm sure you'll find the solution. Cheers!

B.o.B. said...

You are all over the place with this one. On a serious note though you better get your knuckles checked.

BrianFlash said...

Didn't you hear that cracking your knuckles was bad for you from your mother?

Maybe it was a myth, maybe not...

EZEthan said...

hmmm... maybe it's a circulation thing... stop training so hard, your resting heart rate is too low!!!

Ian said...

It's funny that you named this post "Five Knuckle Shuffle" because that could be used to describe my hand motion upon learning that you'd put up another post.

TCHusker - Nate said...

I hear you on the hip thing. I like sleeping on my right side and a sore right hip had me tossing on turning trying to sleep on the left side. Good luck with your knuckles.

Lauren said...

"I like to think that my knuckles are merely reacting to the years of bar brawling I like to pretend I’ve done. That sounds cool."

I love it!

And I have no idea why your knuckesl are swollen, have you been sleepwalking to local bars and then subsequently getting into fights before heading back to bed for the night?

Have you tried glucosamine? I hear it kinda helps joints but I can't attest to it. :D

Good luck!

Psyche said...

Swollen and aching knuckles that seem to be worse when you first wake up in the morning- with symptoms that are there one day and gone the next...that sounds like rheumatoid arthritis.

It's not an age thing- Rheumatoid arthritis is caused by a defect in the immune system that affects the synovium, the thin sheath that surrounds the joints.

It can also affect other organs in the body, including the cardiovascular system and the lungs, which can become inflamed from the disease.

Hope it's not what you have, but it sounds worth looking into.

Dr. Psyche
(I am not really an MD. I just work with MD's. Just sayin').

Morgan said...

Just think, if you dealt out a knuckle sandwich between those hours it'd be far more effective than after hours...

Al's CL Reviews said...

No clue on the knuckle issue.

Corey said...

I think when you have arthritis it's normal for it to hurt worse at certain times in the day. I've hung out with old people.
You should get new knuckles. Made of BRASS.

Anonymous said...

You haven't been running gorilla style, have you? Like, on your knuckles and such? Knock it off, already.

X-Country2 said...

A haiku in the middle of a post? Are you sure you're working during the day?

Jess said...

I've got no clue about your knuckles but nice job knocking out the 17 this weekend.

Adam said...

Sounds like you have old-man-itis. The only prescription is to watch The Chipmunks 2: The squeekle each morning. you'll totally forget about your hands because your head will be swollen.