You know what? I don’t need your dirty minds around here. You can just leave.
I’m talking all serious today. I have knuckle troubles. What would you call a post in which you discuss your knuckles? Knuckle Under? Knuckle Kerfuffle? Knuckle Fuckle? See? What I came up with isn’t so bad now is it?
If embarking on the last year of my 30’s while simultaneously attempting to set PR’s in every race while treading dangerously close to the over training line isn’t enough stress, my body – normally a model for off-color bachelorette party masculine soaked greeting cards (think cowboy hat and holster and nothing else) – is starting to revolt. Hip bones? Puh-leeze, they’ve stopped agreeing with my weekend long runs a few months back. Forget sleep Sunday night. A few Advil and some Biofreeze works for awhile then, it’s tossing and turning the rest of the night. Sore hips and side sleepers don’t go together. Who has Propofol? Paging Dr. Murray.
Now, the knuckles, of all things, have taken their turn to express their displeasure. I wake up every morning over the last several weeks with at least five knuckles swollen and painful to bend. After a nice, hot shower, much of the swelling goes away. But, what the hell? I’m 39 not 59 or 69 or 79. The joints shouldn’t be swelling up yet. I like to think that my knuckles are merely reacting to the years of bar brawling I like to pretend I’ve done. That sounds cool. It’s like when I get an in grown toenail and limp around the house telling the family that my foot “is flaring up over all the ass I’ve kicked.”
Fortunately, my knuckles aren’t needed to run…no matter how many times I’ve been called a ‘Neanderthal’ and asked if ‘I get grass stains on those knuckles.’ So, the training goes on…
Sunday’s 17 mile long run was completed haiku style.
Long run broken down
Five seven five segments each
Seventeen miles done!
That’s three segments of 5 miles, 7 miles, 5 miles with a Gu and water break between each for you knuckleheads not familiar with (irregular) haiku. (I know I didn’t have a seasonal reference.) I enjoyed making a normal run into an expression of Japanese poetry. I felt really international…like when I watch Gung Ho on TNT.
I’ve been cracking my knuckles all morning trying to come up with a way to do an Iambic pentameter run for this weekend’s 18 miler. Don’t worry, I’ve got the Dirty Limerick style run covered.
But it’s really this knuckle swelling that has me vexed. What could it be? Am I arthritic between the hours of 4 AM to 9 AM only? This wouldn’t be entirely unusual for me as I’m known to be extraordinary between the hours of 9 AM to midnight. After midnight, I revert to slightly above average for a few hours.
I’d like to figure this one out…so then I can move along and solve my Rosy Palm problem.
Sunday = 17 miles @ smooth 7:13 pace.
The week ahead:
Today = 5.5 miles with 3 x 800.
Thursday = 8.5 miles
Saturday = 18 miles
Sunday = No sleep Saturday night.