Friday, February 05, 2016

Product Review: Great! (As far as backpacks go...)

The Fine Folks at Aerolife sent me a free running/hydration backpack!  I like free stuff.  I like it more went it is countable in tightly bundled $100 portions.  I like it even more when it is sitting atop a mountain of cocaine which there is no way to safely get it down for inspection without an 8 month long Sheenian-style snortfest.

But I’ll take a free hydration backpack all the same.  Who needs money, cocaine, and hookers? (We were talking about hookers too right?  Assumed.  The former two always go with the latter one.)
I’m sure Aerolife would appreciate a less R-rated review in exchange for the hydration pack so let’s bring the lights down for a moment.

Here is the backpack.
Aerolife Running and Cycling Hydration Backpack
It’s got the assorted bells and whistles: a 1.5 liter bladder pouch for storing your water or whatever fuels your long run (my fuel of choice being fudge stripe cookies which were incredibly tricky to get into the bladder), zip pockets, mesh pockets, pockets on the front side of the shoulder straps for easy on-the-go access. 
I have used a CamelBak for years when I have needed a hydration backpack which, admittedly, hasn’t been often.  My running routes tend to be circular.  I can make a series of concentric circles for any distance to arrive back at my doorstep and the cool, refreshing taste of city tap water (safely 60 miles west of Flint!  What could go wrong?).  However, on the occasion that I have used my CamelBak, I have not been overly happy: the shoulder straps were too skinny, the waist belt rides up, the fudge stripe cookies could never be sucked through the tube, and the pack just bounced around all willy nilly on my back like the back tits of a large overly-excited 40-something single woman at a One Direction concert.  It was never comfortable.  I was always disappointed. *

So I gave the Aerolife hydration backpack a try with a cocked eyebrow and a suspicious tilt to my pursued lips.  It’s winter around these parts, my runs are shorter, and I wouldn’t really be in need of water but filled the bladder half full and headed out for a 5 miler just to try it out.
I was actually surprised and quite pleased.   The shoulder straps are wider and did a much better job of holding the half-filled pack in place.  Not much back tit bounce at all.  It was comfortable, light, and not an annoyance in any way.  That, along with the several handy pocket placements, make this a far superior product to the CamelBak.  Consider my eyebrow uncocked and lips unpursed.

I’d suggest making the sip straw a good inch and a half wider to support the consumption of fudge stripe cookies but we can’t all have our cookies and eat them too.
Upgrade from your CamelBak!  The price is right and this is a family run company after all.

I hope you enjoyed your Ovaltine interlude.  Promise kept.** Now, back to exile.
Happy trails.

*You may apply that disappointment to the CamelBak, the One Direction concert, or the back tits.  All are deserving.
**I feel slightly bad about this R-rated, tongue-in-cheek review but then again this is FMS and you all know - or should all know - how I roll.


Running Through Phoenix said...

But seriously and rhetorically, what is going on in the soccer world?

B. Kramer said...

I'm happy to see I'm not the only one to return to blogging just for the free shit. Tasty Ovaltine, you shill.

Nate Leckband said...

I'd be pumped if you started blogging regularly again...