Wednesday, July 20, 2011

An Offensive Shade of Blue

I like getting free stuff. My parents did a reasonably good job of teaching me to be thankful for another’s generosity so I’m quick with a Thank You and a half-hearted smile even if I really don’t appreciate the crap I’m being given. My parents also taught me that, if you truly don’t like something, you should always remain polite to the givers face and only ridicule them when they aren’t looking or listening. Or, at the very least, leave anonymous derogatory messages on an internet site. Family values. This is why I created a blog. I like to think that I started cyberbullying before it became cool.

Despite the obvious general snarkiness of my blog, Columbia Sportswear saw fit to send me some free products to try out and review. One was a moisture wicking short sleeve running shirt. The other was their new Peak 2 Peak jacket that retails for $350. I threw on the running shirt the very day I received it and hit some 800’s and it performed wonderfully. I believe it is the Altimeter shirt and it came in a cool blue and gray color. Very manly. I felt like hunting something or, at the very least, lifting something extremely heavy from the moment I put it on. It wicked properly. It felt cool and light despite the buckets of perspiration the 800’s provided. Good shirt. By itself, it made up for nearly 3/4 of my natural feelings of inadequacy.

All well so far, right?

Now we come to the Peak 2 Peak jacket or, as I call it, Mr. Crinkly. It’s a loud jacket. It makes a wretched crinkly noise every time you exhale. You know those space mylar blankets you get to keep you warm after a marathon? It’s like the jacket is made of a couple dozen of those. Oh, sure, it wicks moisture. It’s reasonably light and cool if you want to run in it during fall or early winter. The pockets are well placed and abundant. Really, besides the annoying crinkly sound, it’s a top shelf jacket. That is, all except the color.

Seriously, what the f--- color blue is that? Blue happens to be my favorite color too. I thought I liked every shade of blue imaginable but I’ll be damned if they didn’t find one I hate. It burns my retina. I tried out the jacket because I said I would but, really, I won’t be wearing it in public. That is one horrendous color. A $350 price tag isn’t enough to overcome it. It’s like a jacket version of an eclipse. Don’t look right at it. Plus, let’s be honest, $350 for a lightweight jacket?? Uh, there's a bit of a recession going on here. I’ve got two similar jackets at home now both for under $100. And neither of them are offensive to the eyes. I could buy three jackets of similar quality elsewhere and still have $50 to get a hooker on the way home. And I doubt the hooker would be all crinkly sounding (though that shade of blue may be present).

So Thank You Columbia for the free items. The running shirt has become a regular part of my rotation. And Thank You for the jacket. It’s a great jacket - just loud and ugly and pricey if those things matter to you. Performance-wise, however, top notch! I’ll enjoy seeing its offensive blueness hanging on a hook in the corner of my closet for years to come (unless we can arrange a trade for the Black one or, heck, even the red one - I'd even promise a highly complimentary blog post for your outstanding customer support).

Happy trails.
_________________________________


Since I’m taking care of some general housekeeping today, let me give props where props are due. High marks for Apple. If you recall from one of my last posts a few weeks back, I announced the death of my iPod. I can only speculate that it died due to extreme perspiration intake. Well, I called Apple and explained the situation (the product is still under warranty). When I say “explained” I, of course, mean I lied through my teeth and replied “No” when they asked if it had come in any contact with "liquids". I’m not the smartest guy but I’m no fool either. They sent me a replacement iPod within 48 hours no (other) questions asked. New Soundy lives! Best part? It's gray and silver colored...no offensive blue to be found!

Suckers.

16 comments:

Jamoosh said...

I have been hearing that gray is the new blue...

Lisa said...

It's turquoise? Kinda' pretty actually. Seems like an appropriate color for a ladies jacket. For a man's jacket? Not so much...

Morgan said...

OMG I'm glad I'm not the only one to feel this way about that jacket! I got it to review too and it's SO LOUD!!!! Both in color and actual sound. Spike thinks I'm just being crazy when I say that but it really is and now I can prove it too him because you said so too and you are his running man crush. "If Nitmos says its so than it must be so!"

Elizabeth said...

The loud crinkly sound of the jacket would definitely drive me crazy on a longer run and would probably keep me from buying it, and even if I were very wealthy, I would not pay $350 for a running jacket. But the bright blue color would be a welcomed addition to my completely black winter running wardrobe. I would be more visible to the cars on those long winter day runs, which is a plus in my book.

Xenia said...

I believe that is robin's egg blue. Way too cheery a color for you, for sure.

Viper said...

A crummy commercial?

Detroit Runner(Jeff) said...

I'll be doing a review on this jacket too as soon as it's not 100 degrees here. I did a survey for them already. I do think it's great quality. I, too, did not like the jacket, so I asked the fine folks at Columbia to send me black, if possible. That's exactly what I got. I guess I don't hear the loud crinkle sound like you do. I'm not sure about running in it - winter maybe - it's more of a rain jacket to me.

Randy said...

So how do I enter the giveaway for the jacket then? :-)

Laura said...

...are you sure they didn't send you a ladies? Want to send it to me? :)

jen said...

Best review ever! Thank you for your honesty. Yay free stuff.

Adam said...

I actually require all of my jackets to be loud and ugly and expensive.....and they have to make me think of hookers.

This is right up my alley! Thanks!

Ironman By Thirty said...

I think you need to keep the jacket and wear it in the most inappropriate places - places where you are supposed to be quite. Like church. That would be hilarious.

It is pretty hideous looking though.

Jill said...

I'm thinking Columbia may not be asking you to do a review for them again. Hopefully though they'll fix the crinkle fabric after this tasteful review!

I had my iPod for about 3 months, bought from somewhere other than the Apple store and it died, too, and whey that store wouldn't return it I marched into the Apple store here and explained. They didn't even ask me if I sweated to death while wearing it (which I would have quickly denied) and whalaa, a brand new hideous blue-colored iPod! YAY!

Danielle in Iowa in Seattle said...

Apple knows the lies we tell. I think they can tell when they get the old one back that it got wet (I put mine through the washing machine once). But they sit there and smile and send us a new one because they know we'll keep coming back and spend way more than the measly $50 on a shuffle. Steve Jobs is a crafty one!

Drea said...

Gargamel will motivate you to run faster. Enjoy.

Al's CL Reviews said...

It looks like Carolina Blue mixed with Duke Blue. Quite Ugly