Thursday, June 16, 2011

Randumbery Finds Koalas, Chlamydia

I used to run this semi regular feature called "Randumbness" about, as you would guess, various random and dumb things going on. It was nice page filler. You thought you were getting actual carefully constructed content. Instead, you were getting fluff, filler, time wasters. I'm not saying this to foreshadow this post. I'm just saying the post title is Randumbery and if you can put 2 and 2 together....well, we'll both be pleasantly surprised at your cognitive skills.

Sorry, I don’t have a cute little alliterative title for this sporadically regular feature. No “Monday Musings”, “Try It Tuesday”, “Wordless Wednesday”, “Three Things Thursday” or “Friday Funnies”. Nothing. Deal with it. There’s just a simple little clever play on words in there between random, dumb, and ran (this is a running blog, get it?) That’s all you get. I don’t do alliteration.

Khlamydia Koalas

Aww, look at this little guy. If you are like me, don’t you just want to give it an STD?

In what has to be my favorite headline of the year, AOL’s Huffington Post declares “Chlamydia and Climate Change Killing Koalas”.* Um, ‘scuse me, what was that before ‘climate change’??

Apparently, Australia’s cute little mascot, the koala, is being decimated by this common STD. Folks, I know, they are cute. And who doesn’t like a little exotic marsupial action from time to time? I’m no prude – whatever floats your boat – but, c’mon, you can’t wrap it up first? I know I haven’t been to Australia any time recently so don’t blame me. (Fingers crossed that this doesn’t occur in the U.S. llama population as then I might have some ‘splaining to do.) Has anyone seen RazZ lately?

Unless we are comfortable with this iconic animal listed in the Great Book of Extinction under the cause “venereal disease”, let’s think a bit and follow the simple rule: Wrap before you tap. Have a heart and save some of that kwuality koala tail for the rest of us.

NYQ News

My new favorite letters are N-Y-Q: New York Qualified! This has replaced ‘BQ’ as my favorite type of ‘Qualified’ qualifier. Everyone knows about the New York Marathon’s lottery system due to the outrageous number of entrant applications it gets each year. In a nutshell, you can apply each year in a row and are guaranteed entry by the fourth year if you were not randomly selected in a preceding year.

That sounded like a lot of work and, potentially, trip planning for trips that would never occur. So, I never applied. And then someone tipped me off that there is a back door way to get in the race. And since I’m a back door kinda guy…er, never mind. Apparently, NY has a qualifying time standard for guaranteed entry. If I read it correctly – and I’ve read both Moby Dick and Don Quixote – it means that you can bypass the lottery and head right to the front of the line.

And look at that, the time standard for a 40 year old male is 1:30 or below for a half-marathon. I just ran a 1:26+. I guess this makes me…NYQ’ed! Good thing I just turned 40 too because that 1:23 qualifying time for a 39 year old would have been a difficult task. Hooray for Masters leniency!

Now, let’s hope they don’t go changing the requirements ala Boston…

Soccer Saturday

Finally, soccer season is over for both kids. EXCEPT, this weekend is tryouts for next year! (It never ends.) Here’s my colt defending with his left foot while playing, wait for it, left defender for his premier team. Yes, his feet really are that huge. That’s not an illusion caused by the orange shoes. Good luck at tryouts, colt!

And here’s my filly getting last minute instructions from her swashbuckling, debonair coach who wears the hell out of those sensibly-priced Sears St. Johns Bay shorts. Since last September, she’s scored 35 goals in…35 games and is now busy trying to convince Coach St. John’s Bay that she’s ready to move on and play in a tougher league not coached by people wearing St. Johns Bay cargo shorts. We’ll see. It’s 50/50 if we’ll let her do it….much to decide at this weekend’s tryouts. Good luck, filly!

Happy Hrails!

*Or, in runner blogland, I guess that would be “Khlamydia and Klimate Khange Killing Koalas”


Viper said...

Amen for not having any alliterative daily/weekly posts. Now I've got to get to work on my next Flashback Friday. Good luck to your offspring in trying out for things that take up more of your time. Cheers!

Jamoosh said...

Allow me to speak to you about joy. Joy is when you read a story about Koalas and Chlamydia and think, "I hope Nitmos references this" - lo and behold, you know the rest.

Word Verification = cureggi

The Sean said...

Combining your colt and filly with Koalas and Chlamydia... well done, sir!


Vava said...

Good luck to the kids at their try outs, and to the filthy Koalas as well...

Danielle in Iowa in Seattle said...

I'm going to Australia next month, so thanks for the travel advisory! I will stay away from those male koalas, even though they are so hot, with those big black noses.

Ironman By Thirty said...

Thank you. Because of this post, I had to explain to a co-worker what a "Blog Roll" is and why the sidebar of my blog said "Randumbery Finds Koalas, Chlamydia".

Razz said...

goddamn that's a nice piece of koala.

no link to where I can buy those nifty shorts?

Adam said...

Sorry I didn't comment earlier, I was too busy cranking out another high-larious Funny Foto Friday. Its the Funniest Farce of Foto Fhat Fou've Fever Feen.

Drea said...

So will you run NYC? I will be there on the finish line taking pictures. I'll look for you- you should stand out.

Beth said...

Are you going to sign up for NY? I'm going to defer again and hope to be there in 2012. I agree- better do it now before they lower the time like Boston!

Irene said...

For a nano-second I thought it said something about Khloe Kardashian, not Khlamydia Koalas... Then I put my glasses on.

What's the expense of running New York? Will the expense be worth the run? I realize the experience will be priceless.